Monday, July 16, 2007

Evil Leaders League, Week 3

Nostradamus may have predicted the rise of Hitler, but he couldn't tell you how our 8 competitors fared in Week 3 of the ELL. Let's get the results:

Karimov vs al-Bashir
Uzbekistan's Islam Karimov makes sure the trials of his former deputies are secretive and that his deputies get the ole Scooter Libby treatment. But capital punishment will be abolished in 2008. What kind of evil leader makes killing illegal? The genocide in the Darfur region of Omar al-Bashir's Sudan continues. The international community continues to try in vain to stop it. This time a conference in Tripoli is suppose to figure things out. Once Karimov starts funding genocidal militias, we'll have something of a contest between these two.
winner: al-Bashir

Chavez vs Putin
Venezuela has a leader by the name of Hugo Chavez. Mr. Chavez has been accused of silencing dissent and practicing the politics of fear and division. I'm not sure how he's practicing the politics of division by silencing dissent and forcing everyone to unify behind his ideology. Simply put, Chavez is his generation's Ho Chi Minh, except more of a dick. And instead of the warm persona of Uncle Ho, Chavez is the fiery Latin lover, interested in corralling not only power, but the hearts of women everywhere. Vladimir Putin of Russia is all about diplomacy. Sure, he's made things difficult for President Bush, but he's no match for Chavez's suave boisterous anti-Americanism. Being a tough negotiator doesn't correlate with wins in this league.
winner: Chavez

Ahmadinejad vs Sarkozy
On the one hand, Mahmood Ahmadinejad, Iran's president, is struggling. Iranian economists believe he gets his inspiration from Ken Lay's Guide to "Running" a "Business". However, Mahmy is determined to keep enriching uranium, like it's his job. That's pretty evil. France's Nicolas Sarkozy wants the president of France to have increased clearly-defined power. What a coincidence, he's the president! He also called for solid checks and balances of that power. Jocking the US Constitution is a sure way to fail in the ELL. But never forget, he's a wine-drinking Frenchman; they're inherently evil.
winner: Ahmadinejad

Kim vs Lukashenko
North Korea has halted their nuclear program in exchange for oil. The country's leader Kim Jong-Il isn't as crazy this week as usual. But this is not the Crazy Leader's League, and evil shrewdness is rewarded. Kim needs to make concessions every now and again to retain power. Alexander Lukashenko of Belarus accused President Bush of supporting the opposition. This comes after Bush strengthened sanctions on "Europe's last dictator." Unfortunately for Lukashenko, his hissy fit hasn't accomplished much. Kim's clever compromise evens their all time head to head tally.
winner: Kim

Chavez 2-1
Kim J-I 2-1
Putin 2-1
Ahmad 2-1
al-Bash 2-1
Karimo 2-1
Lukash 0-3
Sarkozy 0-3

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