I'm From Moldova

In India, I was asked which country I was from about a million bazillion times. Sometimes I didn't feel like talking and didn't trust my inquisitor, so I answered, "Moldova" in a perfect American accent.

Here is the beginning of each conversation:
"Ah-lo (British-inspired version of Hello), which country?"
"Moldova."

The rest of the conversations:
1) After the guy asked "which country?" 4 more times (and I continuously answered Moldova) he says,
"In English please."
"Moldova, that is English!"

2) "Which countries is that near?"
"Romania and Ukraine."
He has a puzzled look.
I ask, "Do you know them?"
"No." He's still looking at me like I just split the atom.
He asks, "How many languages do you speak?"
"Two. Moldovan and English."
That makes sense to him. He finally collects himself, "Want to buy a hat?"
"No, not allowed."
"Not allowed?!"
"Yep. No hats in Moldova."

3) "Mundoba?"
"Yeah yeah, Moldova."
"Oh. Moldova?"
"Yeah. Lemme ask you a question. Do you ever feel like you just want to crush a man with your bare hands?"
A bit frightened, "Yes."
I scream and point at him "Yes! That's what I'm talking about! Hold on a sec, I wanna buy something."
He says, "Oh, shopping?" I turn around for a second and then turn back; he's gone.


I sincerely apologize to the nation of Moldova and the Moldovan people for how I represented you during my stay in India. I portrayed you as a psychotic bunch of hatless freaks and I'm sorry. Fortunately for you, you still won't run into many people in India who have any idea about Moldova.