Greed

When Jim McManatee was young, his teachers described him as ambitious. He worked hard and got into one of the top 5 colleges in America. No, not Brown. He achieved great grades and made many friends.

When he got a job after college, he stopped at nothing to move up the corporate ladder. He didn't care who he hurt or who he literally stabbed in the back (figuratively speaking). He raced to the top of his company. He traded in girlfriends for prettier and smarter ones, unconcerned with their feelings. He eventually landed the smarter/hottest woman around. Once at the top of his company, he stole money in the millions from his employees. He was never in trouble for it and spent the money freely. He brought in ringers for his church league basketball team and the McManatees Inc. won the title every year. He cheated at poker and came away with his friends' hard-earned dough.

Jim McManatee and his wife had a few children and after several missteps, they finally had the cutest baby around. Don't worry, the others weren't jealous, because it's hard to be jealous from the inside of a dumpster. Jim McManatee was never charged with murder. He sent his son to the best Catholic school in the country. Then his kid was raped by a Catholic priest.



Ok, so this wasn't the most topical post ever. It's about three years late and very poorly executed at that. But you know what, they're not all going to be winners. I'm not a fucking machine, you greedy bastards.