The DC Blues

I'd rather be Manny Acta than Alberto Gonzalez right now.

Gonzalez, the Attorney General of the United States, is mired in scandal. He's wrongfully fired federal attorneys on based on politics, supported the disgraced Bush nomination for secretary of Homeland security, Bernie Kerik, and has little regard for the Constitution of the United States. Plus, he's a real prick.

Manny Acta is the new manager for the Washington Nats. The Nats have gotten off to a tough 1-6 start. Things are not looking good in the immediate future either. My theory is that the Nats can only win on Wednesdays, which doesn't make the playoffs a very reasonable goal. Hopefully the rain gods will cooperate and we'll have a lot of doubleheaders on Wednesdays. That's our only chance.

I went to the game Thursday. It was 30 degrees and windy. I was alone, cold, and they lost (because it wasn't Wednesday). I was hungry and I couldn't eat any of the gentile food at the ballpark. Evidently they don't serve hot dogs on matzo buns because they're anti-Semites. Instead of crackerjacks, they should've had matzojacks for Passover. Jews enjoy baseball too, you know. And what's with these prices? No Jew is spending $6 for a hot dog. Not because we're cheap, but because we're not stupid. The Nats lost 7-1.

The starting pitching has sucked thus far. Jerome Williams and Shawn Hill each threw ok once. The Nats can't hit the baseball, which I understand to be a major component of baseball. Dmitri Young has a strict policy of only catching the ball when he feels like it. I actually like the guys on the Nats, even if playing baseball is not really their thing. Except for Austin Kerns. He's the first player on a favorite team of mine that I've ever disliked. As a fielder, he's an overrated hitter. He's a bum and we should trade him.

So things aren't looking great for Acta yet. But nobody's expecting a championship anytime soon. As long as he can get his players to give their all night in and night out, he'll build some momentum for next season. Alberto Gonzalez is a corrupt man who has been caught in a political shift of accountability. His career's outlook is bleak. It's like the owner of a buffet restaurant watching a fat guy waddle into his establishment. He's knows he won't be in business long.