The Fear of Color (and Jews)

Here is my conversation with prominent neo-nazis and various other bigots, both dead and alive.

I am alone in a conference room, pacing back and forth.
Robert Mathews enters.
Me: Hey there Mr. Mathews.
Rob: Shut up kike.
Me: Alright then. (Muttering) Nice sunglasses, Ray Charles.
Richard Butler enters.
Me: Mr. Butler, welcome.
Rich: Get away from me, devil. (Pointing at me) SATAN!
Me: Lovely meeting you too.
Rich: Hello Robert my white brother.
Bill Riccio arrives.
Me: Hi there Mr. Riccio. Riccio, is that Italian?
Bill: What the fuck did this kike just say to me? I'll cut out your insides and eat them.
Me: Looks like someone missed snack time.
William Pierce enters.
Me: And here's the author of the Turner Diaries himself, Mr. Pierce. How are you?
Will: Fuck you Jew.
Me: Well, at least your grammar's improved since you wrote the Diaries.
Will: Me think you shut-up.
Me: Well said.
Here comes Timothy McVeigh.
Me: Shalom Mr. McVeigh.
McVeigh walks by with no sign of acknowledgement.
In walks David Duke.
Me: Hello Mr. Duke.
Dave: Hello.
Me: Mr. Duke, you were the only one to shake my hand thus far. Why?
Dave: Well, I like to be polite to my mortal enemies to give them a sense of complicity.
Me: How cute. (Everyone sits down at the round table) I'm glad you all could make it. Some of you have come from very far away, depending on one's view of the afterlife, and I'd like to welcome you. I'm excited to engage in a dialogue with you.
Rich: (Stands up slowly but urgently) Shut up you vile beast! White Jesus hates you. You will never be human and you must be wiped off the face of the earth.
Me: Alrighty then. I appreciate your enthusiasm Mr. Butler. Now you can please be seated.
Richard Butler sits down as he mumbles "verses" from "the bible" that he probably just made up.
Me: (Turns to Robert Mathews) Mr. Mathews, where does your hatred for non-whites come from?
Rob: Comes from in here (points to his heart).
Me: I see.
Will: Can I say something here?
Me: Sure. Go ahead Mr. Pierce.
Will: I hate Jews. They control the government. They make things bad for white people. We should blow up the government, like the people in my books. But I'm not advocating blowing up the government.
Me: Ok. Mr. Pierce, you say that Jews control the government. I believe that is an erroneous accusation. What is your source?
Will: My books and my daddy.
Me: Clearly incontrovertable evidence right there.
George W. Bush saunters in.
Me: (Stands up to greet him) Mr. President, welcome.
George: (Shakes my hand) Howdy Beardy.
George Bush leaves.
Rob: Damn politicians.
Dave: Was that a crack at me, Mr. Sunglasses? You're indoors dumbass, take them off!
Rob: (Standing up, fists a'ready) You want some up this, sell out?
Me: Please guys, take your seats. This is not your homes. Let's have a civilized discussion here.
Bill: The piece of Jew-shit is right. We're white. We should be the pillars of civilization. We should represent the good humanity has to offer. Now, who wants to kill some Mexicans after this?
Me: Um, hmm. How about we take a five minute break.

Join us next time for: The Fear of Color (and Jews)