Tuesday, March 27, 2007

The Fear of Color (and Jews) Part 2

Here's more from my conversation with prominent neo-nazis and various other bigots, both dead and alive.

We are in a conference room sitting at a round table.
Me: You know The George Michael Sports Machine went off the air. The last episode was Sunday.
Richard Butler: Eh, I didn't like that show, too many blacks.
William Pierce: I was never a big sports fan.
Robert Mathews: I liked the show. Sad to see it go. George Michael's alright.
Bill Riccio: Never watched it. I spend all my time watching clips of Hitler.
Rob: He was a big Dale Earnhardt fan.
Bill: Who, Hitler?
Rob: Nah, George Michael.
Me: I liked Dale Earnhardt. He was my favorite driver.
Rob: You liked Dale Earnhardt?
Me: Yeah.
Rob: But he's not a Jew or a black, how could you like him?
Me: I don't know, he was a tenacious driver who drove a cool black car. I don't really base my rooting interests on race or ethnicity.
Rob: Hmm. Dale Earnhardt, he was a helluva driver. Pure white and a mustache like a god.
Me: I liked his mustache as well. Very bushy.
Rob: I liked the bushiness of Dale Earnhardt's mustache too. (Pause the length of when you tell your Orthodox parents that you're gay) You know, you're not so bad... for an America-controlling Jew.
Robert Mathews gets up on his way out.
Me: Uh, well, thank you? I still think we may have a bit more to talk about. You should stay.
Rob: Sorry fella. Gotta meeting with the Association of Advanced Aryans (AAA), but I'll tell 'em about you.
Me: I couldn't imagine anything better for the continuation of my life.
Robert Mathews leaves.
Rich: I like that Danica Patrick. Mmm, I can just taste the whiteness.
Me: Yeah, she's attractive.
Will: This horny Jew-devil is gonna steal our white women.
Me: Yeah, that's right. You really have to worry about me "stealing" Danica Patrick away. Sure, on the off chance I ever see her in person, I'll be able to walk right up to her and she'll just fall for me. I hear she goes for short bitter hairy Jews.
Another pause, not as long, maybe enough for a little nosh.
David Duke: Thankfully the sports talk has ended. Now maybe we can get back to business. How about that, you satanic semite?
Me: Sure. We can talk about the use of slurs, sound good?
Will: My favorite for the Jew is the Omnipotent Money-Grabber.
Rich: I just call all 'em non-aryans, animals.
Dave: Omnipotent Money-Grabber, that's good, very poetic.
Bill: Well, I call Jews, those big nosed, stinky pantsed, um, jack-a-nin, I like to pitchfork them in the ass.
Will: Thanks David.
Me: What? No. I didn't mean your favorite slurs. I meant the negative impact of slurs on others. The fact that they are misrepresenting, slanderous, and wow that was terrible Bill. Big nosed, stinky pantsed, jack-a-ninny pitchfork ass? What the fuck is wrong with you.
Dave: All he does is watch clips of Hitler without subtitles and he can't speak German, what do you think is wrong with him?
Me: Good point Mr. Duke. But uh, any thoughts on the slur discussion?
Dave: I like William's.
Rich: Me too.
Me: What? We're not voting on the best slur. Oy, I need another break. Let's take five.

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