The Christians have had a new Christmas decoration in recent years. It is that of the lighted deer. Usually there's just two of them, white lights shining bright, and no Santas nor sleighs nor Jesuses in sight. (The poetic rhyming to this point has been pure coincidence- honest).
As ridiculous as these lighted deer may seem, it's worse when you realize that my neighborhood has plenty of real deer all over the place. The forests were torn down due to overdevelopment in my county and the deer lost their homes. You're probably wondering why I care so dear for the deer. I don't give fuck about deer, but I also don't want them crashing through the windshield of my car while I'm driving at night.
Let's leave the real deer in the forests and the lighted deer in the doldrums with the memory of My Pet Rock and Tickle Me Elmo. And they call the Jews cheap: why because we don't buy this shit?
On a side note, I was trapped at a stop sign as a brigade of fire trucks, with sirens blaring, paraded around carrying a lit-up Santa. It was the only time in my life I prayed that someone's house was on fire. Oh the law suits that would follow. And then of course Bill O'Reilly would claim that the people suing the fire department- for parading around with a lit-up Santa instead of fighting fires- were engaging in a war on Christmas.
2 comments:
LOL. That was good.
On an unrelated note, my manager at work has made me an honourary Jew for the month of December. I asked him to because I hate Christmas. He said OK.
He also mentioned a bunch of food I will have to eat, and it sounds pretty good, so all in all, I'm happy being a psuedo-Jew.
Haha, mazel tov. But you knew of Ashkenazim and Sephardim, so you were already good in my book.
Jewish food is pretty good. Personally, I'd put matzo ball soup and creplach up there with any food in the world. Latkes (potato pancakes) are big for Channukah, there's usually hit or miss. And remember, even as an honorary Jew we don't hate Christmas (just every aspect of it).
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