David's Draft Reactions

David's Team
Moses ben Maimon
Milton Berle
Sammy Davis Jr.
Hank Greenberg
Lionel Rothschild
Bella Abzug
Elie Wiesel
Regina Jonas
Russ Feingold
Marv Levy
Ruth Bader-Ginsburg
Sandy Koufax
David Ben-Gurion
Howard Cossell
Stephen Breyer
Kerri Strug
Abba Eban
Red Holtzman
Primo Levi
Sa'd al-Dawla

About my team:
Maimonides said that there are no bad things in life, just things that we don't understand. Because of that and much more, I picked him first. I believe that Milton Berle is the messiah, so I went with him next. Sammy Davis Jr. brings cool to my team. Also, Sammy is short, and should be pope.

I'm glad I got Hank Greenberg and Sandy Koufax. Greenberg was very proud to be Jewish, but not as religious, so that's why I picked him earlier. I got Marv Levy and Red Holtzman because they were the most successful coaches for my favorite teams.

Rothschild stood up for Jews, refusing to take the oath to Christianity required to be a member of the British parliament in the mid 19th century. Gotta like that. Abzug would've complimented Einstein well, leading my team's peace protests; unfortunately, Asa took Einstein. Instead, Bella, Rothschild, and Feingold can write some progressive legislation together. Feingold seems to be the one courageous member of the US senate nowadays.

Wiesel and Levi represent triumph in the face of horror; any good Jew team needs that. Regina Jonas was the first female rabbi; she lived in Berlin, Germany. Ruth Bader-Ginsburg and Stephen Breyer makeup half of the liberal judges on the current US Supreme Court. Justice Brandeis would've been nice to have, but Ian picked him early. Just in case my two judges don't get me out of trouble, I've got the loudmouth sports announcer and former lawyer Howard Cossell who can convince anyone of anything (except that the hair on his head was real).

Ben-Gurion and Abba Eban are a bit too violent for my liking, but they were liberal and ultimately wanted peace in Israel in return for land. Sa'd al-Dawla was the chief minister of the Mongol Empire, well a large portion of it anyway. He lived in Baghdad during the 13th century. Sa'd and Ben-Gurion can campaign for the leadership of the team (with the two coaches I suppose).

I've been challenged on Kerri Strug quite a bit. I thought she was overrated until I sprained my ankle. I learned that 3rd degree was the worst ankle sprain. She won the gold medal for the US despite the sprain! Plus, she said that her Jewishness was the inspiration for her fighting through the pain and completing the vault, though I may have dreamed that she said that. She's short too! In any event, I hope the pick gets me a date with her. She lives in DC!

Ian's Team
My brother had a good all around draft. His picks were either progressives or people who represent the perils of anti-Semitism.
Best 3:
Baruch Spinoza - This guy is the foundation for the beliefs of most non-Orthodox Jews.
Louis Brandeis - 1st Jewish Supreme Court judge, really understood what democracy is about.
Jonas Salk - Cured Polio and Ian got him in the 11th round.
Worst 3:
Leo Frank - He's only famous because he died at the hands of anti-Semites.
Alfred Dreyfus - Only famous due to victimization, but at least was in the French military in the 1800s, impressive.
Shimon Peres - Already got Rabin, was this necessary? No.
I wanted:
Baruch Spinoza, Louis Brandeis, Simon Wiesenthal, Yitzhak Rabin.

Asa's Team
Asa's real name is Adam. He picked a lot of Jews that either hate themselves or are critical of Jews. No matter how you define self-hating Jew, Asa picked them, although he didn't pick anyone of Bobby Fischer's ilk.
Best 3:
Albert Einstein - I really wanted him in the 2nd round. Genius, peace advocate, I like it.
Jon Stewart - Very smart and funny comedian. Good kind of Jewy.
Mel Brooks - When Asa isn't wallowing in his own self-pity, he has a good sense of humor.
Worst 3:
Frank Gehry - He had buildings built, so?
Ariel Sharon - Not sure why he was picked at all.
Stanley Kubrik - Asa's got Spielberg to make his movies, wasted pick.
I wanted:
Albert Einstein, Jon Stewart, Jerry Seinfeld (eh, maybe).

Mike's Team
Mike is a gentile. Perhaps he overcompensated because of this fact, by picking obscure Jews. He also had his share of Hungarian Jews, due to his ancestry. He picked a number of happen-to-bees. Important people, that happen to be Jewish. I think that was expected.
Best 3:
Simon Bar Khokba - Led a successful revolt against the mighty Roman Empire, pretty damn good.
George Gershwin - Influenced American music to a great degree.
Eliezer Ben-Yehuda - Reviving the Hebrew language, pro-Jew goodness.
Worst 3:
Zsa Zsa Gabor - Besides not really a Jew, this is the worst pick of the draft, she's done nothing.
Harry Houdini - Of all the Jewish entertainers, really, him?
Gene Simmons - Changed his name, bad start. Is an embarrassment, worse.
I wanted:
George Gershwin, Larry David (maybe, eh).