I'm American, Bitch 3

Tonight on I'm American, Bitch David explains logically how people that criticize the Iraq war are defeatists, who clearly do not understand economics. He tries to somehow tie the war back to gays, women, and black people, but it's hard when there are just so many people keeping the white man down.


The Iraq War, or as I call it, the American War is kind of an important issue my sources say. To me, the war has been a resounding success, with not one mistake made. But I understand that not everyone agrees with this position. I'm a compassionate person like that. However, there is a way to critique the Bush administration appropriately and then there's a wrong way.

For example, saying that George Bush is even smarter than he thinks is constructive criticism.

However, claiming that the US doesn't have enough troops over in Iraq to fight the insurgents, or we should bring home our troops to save their lives, or there were no weapons of mass destruction in the first place and thus this war was unjustified and a total failure, is defeatist. It's not constructive. Some may say, but it's true isn't it? The truth is not always constructive, just ask Robert Blake.

Critics might say that this war made no political sense in addition to its immoral premise. Well, I say that they are defeatists. Bush knew that starting a corrupt war in Iraq would flush those crafty al-Quedans out and bring them to Iraq. Then, as evidence by how well prepared the US military was for the insurgents, we were to annihilate al-Queda! If you don't believe that this was the true reason for the war, then you're a defeatist. If you believe that repetition does not make something true, then you're also a defeatist.

I am so sick and tired of these hippie commie defeatist liberals who don't know anything about the world. They just think that killing people is wrong and shit like that. So defeatist. This is the real world. If we don't kill Iraqis, who will? You have to understand the market forces that make killing Iraqis a hell of a hoot! Murder is ok as long as it makes sense financially. See, I'm a logical man. I'm not overcome by emotion like those liberal defeatists.

These defeatists include former counterterrorism czar (commie) Richard Clarke, ambassador Joe Wilson, congressperson John Murtha, and many others who want to surrender to brownish people! I say let's stay the course. How can funeral companies and weapons corporations make more money if there's no war? And then that money trickles down to the rest of us. With all the dead soldiers, there'd be less competition for jobs and hot sexy broads.

It's time for all of us to stop being defeatist, understand market economies, and kill a lot of people who don't look the same as us, or do look the same as us, depending on what you look like. I'm looking at you Hispanics.

God Bless America and fuck everyone else. Oh, and fuck a lot of people in America too. Thanks God.