Roller Coaster

Many of my friends back home have been very nice in their concern for me and my mental health. They're worried about me dealing with the culture shock and help me to understand business practices here. But I've realized something, my happiness in this country is directly tied to the absense of General Dipshit in my life. He was gone for a few days and I loved being here. Everything about this place, the stares, the attention, everything. He came back today, I didn't even see him, and my mood went down the tubes.

I may have been late to class on Wednesday. Perhaps my watch is 4 hours and 21 minutes slow and not 4 hours and 15 minutes slow as I had thought. Sherkhan just found the watch for me on the floor, so whatever. The schedule that I have only has a bunch of random numbers that have meaning to maybe 4 people in the whole world. I would've liked a schedule that has the room number written in Chinese. That way I can show a student and they can direct me to the class that I'm supposed to be in. I showed a student my meaningless schedule. He took me to one office. Then I went to another office. Then another. So, instead of being maybe 1 minute late, I was 30 minutes late.

The rest of the day was cool though. I took a long nap and woke up in time to meet with an English teacher at the school. She is a middle aged woman who took Sherkhan and I out to dinner with her private English students. She is an awesome woman. She lived in Kuwait and Jordan for a few years. Since Chinese people couldn't travel freely at that time, she gave up her successful job as an English teacher to work as a house maid and at KFC because she could only travel through a work contract. So she is quite humble. She has been very generous to us.

Then she (Jane) told me to sit on the back of her bike and took me back to our apartment riding next to Sherkhan.

I woke up Thursday to Laverne's knocking. Then I rode on the back of her bike to school. I was actually offended that she took me to school. I'm a grown man, I can get there myself, I don't need anyone checking up on me. Plus, give me a fucking proper schedule and this shit wouldn't happen. But I wasn't mad at Laverne. She was just following orders.

Class was fun. I yelled some more and the students loved it. But I was a little aggravated in general. It's the first time it's rained since we've been here. The toilet doesn't work (excuse me, our shit hole won't drain), so I can't take a shower. You read that correctly!

I shat in a nasty ass grocery store bathroom. If you've never shat in a Third World bathroom, then you just wouldn't understand. Two guys saw my ass (all the girls are jealous), because there's no door. Then walking back to the apartment, groceries in hand, some guy said some shit to me. I have no idea if he was yelling at me or that Chinese word just has that intonation, but I just wasn't in the mood. Then a car nearly ran me over. I yelled, "I'm fuckin' walkin' here!" No one understood, but the sight of a foreigner yelling is enough to draw a lot of attention.

Then I took a nap.

I awoke to Sherkhan storming into the apartment, screaming "That's it. Let's go!" I responded in a half asleep haze, "What?" Sherkhan clarified, "I think I just quit, let's go." I answered, "Not right now, I'm tired."

Sherkhan and the General had a fight, which Sherkhan can describe much more accurately than I can. I only heard what happened from Sherkhan.

Then Sherkhan talked with Jane for awhile until he got me. The three of us ate, discussing the situation. She enlightened us to what really has been going on with G-G-G-G-Unit and the General. Then she offered us a flat that she owns (she owns several) for free. So as of then end of Thursday night, we had quit and were planning moving to another city.

We planned to visit Shanghai for a few days. We were going to leave after we taught our final class Friday afternoon. We discussed the prospects of the General following us to the bus. Also, we were going to leave our luggage with Jane, but she didn't want the General to know that. So she laid out a James Bond-like plan for us on Friday. Sherkhan would first leave for his class and take both his bags with him. Then I was to walk to the General and the stuttering fool's office and get one of them to come with me, where I'd give them back the key and they could watch me move out. Then I was to take a taxi to the school and teach the class. From there, depending on the situation, we would take our luggage on one bus. That bus would take us to another bigger bus, which was going to Shanghai. The little bus would take our luggage back to Jane's apartment.

Talk about a roller coaster!