Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Luangyungong is Chinese for Shit

Not literally, but this is the town that we are staying in. It is the worst city that we have visited. It is very Han Chinese. About 99% of China's population is Han. They have had very little exposure to real-life foreigners. The stares are piercing. The laughter is crushing. The stench is the worst.

On a lighter note, Sherkhan and I just scream out crazy shit in English and no one's the wiser. My favorite is "Damn, my balls are sweaty! Hey you, wanna some sweaty balls on your face?" It's an interesting mindgame with these people. They don't realize that we know that they are making fun of us. We are much more slick about it making fun of them. Of course, we don't make fun of everybody, just those that instigate.

Today was the big showdown with the clowns, G-G-G-G-G-Unit and General Dipshit. We demanded that they show us our apartment. Finally they caved. It was an absolute shithole. We flipped out a bit. Ole Crazy Dave came back to life. I was pissed off that they promised us an apartment two days ago, and then yesterday, then today, and so on and so forth. But nothing.

So we "expressed our displeasure" in many more words and they promised to take care of shit. The General said, "You better believe us. We believe you, you believe us." I said, "You should believe us, we've done our part! But you have not been honest. We don't believe you." I wish I could record this dude's voice. It's so ridulous.

They showed us the apartment after we taught another lively class. (We are damn good teachers, if I can be modest for a second). They were fixing the place up and we kept making demands. Finally, we have hope now.

One last note about being in China. My Chinese is probably equivalent to a retarded elephant's, but my English has uh, what's the word, got much more badder since being here. I can hardly express myslef to Sherkhan, and making a joke is now out of the question. I constantly pause to think of words that I know just because that's how everyone talks to us. Hopefully my next blog will be lighter and more coherent.

How bout that Deep Throat uncovery (is that a word?see what I mean). Mar Felt, the No. 2 at the FBI was Deep Throat, the anonymous source that confirmed Woodward and Bernstein's information on Watergate, which forced President Nixon to resign.

Calling out Bhavna, what's up with your to do list? I'm coming back States-side in less than 3 weeks, how's everything progressing?

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