Chinese Lessons

Lesson 1: Ni hao means hello. Use this term only on rare occasions because after you say "Ni hao," to a Chinese person, they start talking to you all crazy-like in Chinese. Remember, this is only the first lesson, you don't want that!

Lesson 2: Shi shi (xi xi) means thank you. Use this a lot, because you can say it when you're leaving. That way you don't have to deal with people speaking Chinese to you. Be prepared for people to laugh at you, presumably because they are shocked that you can speak Chinese at all.

Lesson 3: I know some random numbers. EE = 1, Arrr= 2, san= 3, tz or somethung is 4 maybe, ohoohoho or some crap is 5, leo =6, tzi might be 7, ba = 8, i never remember 9, anbd sher is 10. Only have sex with people who are at least 18, but this can be difficult because everyone looks like they're the same age. So you're going to have to ask. Listen for their response in Chinese. That is either ba-sher, or sher-ba. You'll either get an 18 year old or an 80 year old, but it's all good.

Cultural lessons: Hocking and spitting is ok and encouraged. People look at you weird if you don't smoke like a chimney. It is not rude to stare, unless I stare at a Chinese person, then they don't like it. Bikes everywhere. Depending on where you are, garbage everywhere.

Chinese driving is very different from American driving. Here, lanes are simply suggestions. They also have no problem driving against the flow of traffic or on sidewalks (mom knows about both of these). The sounds of a Chinese city are fulled with horns. It took me a while to realize, but half of them are taxis honking at us foreigners. Even without those half, there is still plenty of honking.

Today we saw a bunch of firemen running down the street in unison. I said that I hoped that they were just in training and not running to fight a fire. They had no water. What were they gonna do, throw themselves onto the fire in hopes of eventually putting it out? Did I mention that it's hot as a witches tit here, and they were fully dressed in heavy firemen's gear?

We had another fun class today. Luckily there were fewer students, mostly girls, and they all were eager to learn English. We may be traveling tomorrow to some other cit to teach with the General. I salute you, you ass.