The Bradley Effect

This is a phenomenon where white people tell pollsters that they are going to vote for a black candidate, but when they get to the polls, they vote for the white one. It is a unique kind of racism. These are the same people who love to hear an articulate black person talk... as long the black person is talking from Africa.

Personally, I've always been against this kind of bigotry. First of all, it's cowardly. If you're going to be hateful, at least have the guts to own up to it. That's what bothers me about the anti-Semitic comments occasionally left on this blog. The anti-Semitism doesn't bother me nearly as much as the anonymous aspect of it. What's with this wimpy stuff? The Nazis never pulled this crap. Be more like the Nazis.

Secondly, it's a self-aware racism. These people know enough to realize that racism is bad. They also know that they don't want to be seen as racist. And then they go and be racist by voting against a candidate just because of the color of their skin (you would only lie to pollsters about who you're voting for if you think you're doing something wrong). It's worse if you know that what you're doing is wrong. I'm not sure ignorance is bliss, but ignorance does make for a more tolerable racist.

The bottom line is: if you are a rabid hate-filled bigot, don't lie about it. That's so weak.

McCain and Palin, Not So Scary

"If McCain wins, I'm leaving the country" is a common refrain among ill-informed liberals. Really? You didn't leave because of Bush, but McCain will drive you out? Seriously? And don't leave me with all of these Rush Limbaugh wannabees.

Unless America is even more racist than I think or it is uncovered that Obama and bin Laden have been secret pen pals for years, McCain isn't winning. But even if he did win, he's really not that bad.

There will be a Democratic Congress in both houses. Do you remember high school government class? Congress makes the laws. Look back to Clinton's achievements with a Republican Congress; he passed a mostly conservative agenda.

There is always a backlash against executive authority after a president abuses power. After Nixon left in disgrace, the president's power was reduced until the second Bush grabbed power like it was candy on Halloween.

McCain has pledged to be more transparent than Bush. A big reason for many problems America faces is thanks to the secrecy of the Bush administration.

McCain will probably die soon. That gives us Joanne Six Pack aka Sarah Palin. Many of the reasons above apply for Palin, excluding the transparency issue. In addition, I question her political cunning to gain the same clout as Bush in order to make the same mistakes.

So, to my liberal friends, don't be as moronic as Philadelphia Phillies fans; a World Series title couldn't have to a worse bunch of losers. And if you're still planning on moving if McCain wins, let's make sure that doesn't happen this Tuesday.

NBA Predictions for 2008-09

Atlantic
Boston, Philadelphia, NEW YORK, Toronto, New Jersey.
Southeast
Orlando, Atlanta, Washington, Charlotte, Miami.
Central
Cleveland, Detroit, Chicago, Milwaukee, Indiana.

Southwest
San Antonio, New Orleans, Houston, Dallas, Memphis.
Northwest
Utah, Portland, Denver, Oklahoma City, Minnesota.
Pacific
Lakers, Phoenix, Clippers, Golden State, Sacremento.

East playoff seedings
Cleveland, Boston, Detroit, Orlando, Chicago, Philadelphia, Atlanta, NEW YORK.
West playoff seedings
Lakers, Utah, San Antonio, New Orleans, Phoenix, Houston, Dallas, Portland.
NBA Finals
Cleveland vs San Antonio
Winner
Cleveland

John McCain's Last Pitch

Welcome, my friends. Are you ready to change this country for the better? I know Americans are angry and fed up. Americans are sick of politicians in Washington who don't understand your needs. That's why I'm your man. I have 26 years of experience in the senate.

This economy is in crisis although the fundamentals of the economy are strong. This is no time to experiment with inexperienced leaders. We need experts. The issue of economics is not something I’ve understood as well as I should, but my opponent doesn't seem to understand the economy. He advocates socialism. We need to nationalize the banks; we don't need socialism.

Senator Obama wants to raise your taxes and spread the wealth. Do you know that last president to raise taxes during an economic crisis? Herbert Hoover. I remember. I believe in the American Dream. I will cut your taxes and let you keep your wealth. You know who will raise your taxes? That cunt, uh, I mean, that one.

In Iraq, the surge is working. Iraq is a much safer place. Iraq is the central front in the war on terror. Osama bin Laden says so. We should listen to Osama bin Laden. We need more troops in Afghanistan. Senator Obama doesn't seem to understand Islamic fundamentalism. He wants to speak to Mahmoud Ahmadinejad without precondition. Should we talk to a leader who wants to destroy Israel or listen to bin Laden and continue to fight in Iraq? Senator Obama doesn't seem to understand.

Senator Obama's surrogates have said that my supporters are racist. They've said some pretty nasty things about you and you know, I couldn't agree with them more. I couldn't disagree with you more. I couldn't agree with you more. My supporters are the most patriotic, most god-loving, most patriotic part of America. Neither me, nor my supporters are racist. Congressman John Lewis, an American hero, made allegations that Sarah Palin and I were somehow associated with the worst chapter in American history, segregation, deaths of children in church bombings, George Wallace. That, to me, was so hurtful. That's why I initially opposed a holiday honoring Martin Luther King.

Let me make one thing clear to my supporters, Barack Obama is not an Arab. No, ma'am, he's a decent family man. He is not a terrorist. He pals around with terrorists. I don’t care about a washed up terrorist.

In conclusion, I want you to know that I'm a maverick. I voted with the president over 90% of the time. I am not popular with many members of my own party. I ask for your vote this November.

Joe the Plumber

All we hear is the concerns of Joe the Plumber. What about David the schmuck, Jimmy the rapist, O.J. the innocent, Maggie the awesome nurse, George the shitty president, Miri the hot, Trent the quarterback, or Muhammad the guy who is not a terrorist so leave him the fuck alone already he's just some kind trying to make a living who happens to be Muslim?

Nobody's talking about them this election cycle.

The Meaninglessness of Life

Nothing is real in this world. Nothing truly matters. So, what is the point of it all and why do we go through it? This world is seemingly filled with meaningless gestures and fleeting emotions. Nothing is permanent. If nothing is permanent, then nothing is of any consequence because any significance will eventually disappear. The world is hollow and empty.

This is what happens when I go on a Slurpee binge.

The True Mark of Greatness

You don't have to be a presidential candidate to reach the level of greatest. Often, greatness comes in the small things we do for the people we care about. That can be in the form of a well-timed smile or a much-needed hug. It can be a slight inconvenience to you, but something that means the world to somebody else. Or it can be in helping a child.

Here now is some of the gratitude I've received from children, who I have had an impact on in their lives...

One 5 year old boy pointed at me and asked, "Is that a mustache?"
"Yes," I responded, "and I have a beard."
"You look like a monster. A goofy monster!"
I thought to myself, "I don't need this shit at 9:15 on a Saturday morning."

An 8 year old girl told me, "I went to the doctor and he said I'm not allergic to anything. But I wish I was allergic to something. I wish I was allergic to you."
I responded, "Nice to meet you too."

Another day, the same girl walked into the room, saw me, and said, "Not you again. I hate you!"

Yet another day, this same girl again said to me, "You're Mr. Meany," because I missed a couple of grammatical mistakes that I later caught.

Children have also called me ugly, they said my breath stank even though I know it didn't because I just spit out my gum two seconds before, they've called me stupid, and have noticed my diminutive height (I'm still much taller than them!).

So you see, greatness has less to do with ruling a nation and more to do with your impact on the life of a child. And if my interactions with children are any indication, I'm about as great as the fundamentals of the American economy.

Hard Times on Main Street

You hear a lot about how Main Street is struggling nowadays, but it's never described in concrete terms. So here is my message to the men on Wall Street who think they have it rough and to the federal government who would rather bail out the banks and big companies than help the little guy.

Imagine eating a Mexican beef taco Hot Pocket, two tacos from Taco Bell (without lettuce), and two hot dogs from 7-11 (and try not to throw up).

For me, that's a pretty lucky Saturday.

Not All Women are Bad

This is a message to my fellow men out there. Just because one heinous she-devil turns out to be an asshole, you shouldn't peg that on the entire female gender. Whether that woman is Sarah Palin or say, for example, some terrible lady who pretended to be nice to you and then left you on the curb like yesterday's trash and constantly lied to you for years without so much as an inkling of compassion for you and your feelings, but instead used you for her own benefit even if it was extremely inconvenient for you, she would not so much as move a muscle to return the favor, instead screaming at you that you're a horrible person even though you haven't done one thing wrong and she consistently insults you when she's not lying to you although sometimes she was able to do both in the same sentence, lie and insult, despite the fact that you have been a good guy throughout the entire ordeal and you deserve much better than that.

Don't blame all women for the actions of one.

Obama and Hip Hop

In college, a visiting professor made the pronouncement that the President of the United States would own at least one Tupac album by some far off date, somewhere in the 2020s or 2030s. I do not claim to have any intimate knowledge of Barack Obama's CD collection, but Hip Hop has played an important part in allowing the senator to stand on the edge of the presidency.

If we take the assumption that groups of people are linked together because of a shared history, it has been a long journey for black folks in America. Along the way, certain individuals have represented or transcended the condition of black people in America. Frederick Douglas shouted the cause of freedom from slavery. W.E.B. DuBois argued for economic justice for the formerly enslaved. Marcus Garvey articulated the desire for a true home for a group of people who were taken to a new land against their will. Martin Luther King fought for social equality and Malcolm X epitomized the anger within the black community at the lack of opportunities available in their own country of birth.

There have been many others who have had an impact on our society to varying degrees. The names include A. Phillip Randolph, Nat Turner, Shirley Chisholm, Bayard Rustin, Muhammad Ali, Ella Baker, Medgar Evers, Jackie Robinson, and Mamie Till among the throngs of others. Each contributed a brick in the foundation of the black community and by extension, American society. But a black man would not have become president without Hip Hop. During the 1970s, the black youth had largely been marginalized. They were no longer asked to stand up to the establishment for their rights. The larger society did not care about the fate of these young men and women.

So, they did something about it. They gradually created a culture that would become known as Hip Hop. They rapped about their importance in society and about their dreams for a brighter future. They elaborately decorated train cars with their own names so that they could not be ignored. It was a movement by a forgotten group demanding recognition. "Look at me, I matter." It is that humble sentiment for recognition that created a culture which has spread throughout the world.

To run for the presidency, one needs that type of confidence and self-importance that otherwise would not have been available for Barack Obama to tap into without Hip Hop. But Hip Hop hasn't simply provided Obama with the attitude to run, it has allowed this country to vote for him. If Hip Hop is the CNN of the streets, it allowed the larger society to gain a greater understanding of the black community. Hip Hop began the dialogue about the divisions that this country did not want to discuss. What we've learned is that a black person has every right to lead as a white man. Without Hip Hop, that level of consciousness would have come too slowly for Obama to win in 2008.