Blowouts

This was going to be a big sports day for me. Both George Mason and the Knicks played on TV.

George Mason faced a 5-1 Drexel team, a very good defensive team, in their first conference game. Campbell, Carter, Thomas, and Vaughan all contributed to the first half domination of Drexel. With Mason comfortably ahead and the starters sitting, Dre Smith simply made everything that he threw up near the basket, extending the lead further. Ultimately, the Patriots won 85-38! If I could tell the Mason players one thing, it would be: It's only one game, a great performance for sure, but it doesn't mean much, you start from scratch next game.

Meanwhile, the New York Knicks went to Boston to play the Celtics. The Celtics have three star players and a solid group of role players. The Knicks don't have any of that. The Knicks lost 104-59. The Knicks barely avoided the lowest scoring performance in franchise history when Nate Robinson threw in a three pointer as time ran out in the contest.

The Knicks' starters quit. I've never been so ashamed to root for a sports team. Stephan Marbury is a terrible basketball player. He is the worst player in NBA history compared to his natural talent. Make him go away. India has a new pro league, they have a league in Iran, I don't really care where he goes, get him out of there. Quentin Richardson is a moron. He fired up the Celtics saying they ain't nothing. I wonder if Richardson would even make the DePaul team any better. I'd love to find out, because it would mean he wouldn't be on the Knicks any more.

It is possible that Zach Randolph has never passed the ball in his life. He puts up nice numbers, but he's a loser. Eddy Curry is garbage and ugly, get him out of there too. I've defended Jamal Crawford for a long time. I'm done. Send him to Siberia.

The Knicks should play Nate Robinson, David Lee, Jared Jeffries, Ronaldo Balkman, and Fred Jones. Charles Barkley said it right, they try, they're just not very good. I'd rather root for that kind of team than the one we have now.

Isiah Thomas assembled this team and coached them into the ground. Fire him now! He should have been fired as soon as the sexual hassment decision was handed down. After this humiliating display, there is no excuse, he must go.

I never thought I'd say this but... I miss Dave Checketts.

Iraqi Tea

By definition, democracy cannot be imposed. Thus, as long as there is an American presence in Iraq, there is no chance for democracy to flourish. There is no political solution and no military solution to the crisis in Iraq. It's an impossible situation and we need to get out now, for the good of the soldiers and the good of the Iraqis.

The situation in Iraq reminds me of the time my friend offered me some tea. He said, "If you want tea, you gotta have a teabag." Then he forced his hairy balls down my mouth. Good times.

Get Informed and Vote

The presidential primary season begins in a few weeks from now. Yet, there are so many intelligent people who know very little about the candidates' positions. There are so many intelligent and educated people who know so little. There are so many intelligent, educated, and thoughtful people who know so little about what is going on. Particularly people of my generation are just so ignorant and apathetic and it's our fault.

This is a frightening proposition. Intelligent people, educated people, and thoughtful people, or any combination of the three, need to be the ones to determine those that run our country. These people need to take the leadership in this process. Particularly the younger generation. We've seen what happens when the world is left up to older people. We must take control.

The fate of the world is in our hands. Learn about the candidates' positions. You are smart enough, equipped to, or analytical enough to scrape through the bullshit the media and the candidates themselves put out and find where they stand. We must create our own calling and not allow us to be ignored.

My Teams on TV

Here's a list of games featuring my teams that I've been able to watch on tv. Keep in mind I don't have your HDs or Tivos or whatever. I got the same good old basic cable that we've had since 1988.

Buffalo Bills 5-6
opponent - result
Pittsburgh - L
NY Jets - W
Dallas - L
Baltimore - W
Cincinnati - W
New England - L
Jacksonville - L

I'm glad I've got to watch so many Bills games this season. It's probably more games than I've been able to see over the last several years combined. They've been an easy team to root for, filled with underdogs and featuring exciting games.

New York Knicks 3-9
opponent - result
Denver - W
Chicago - W

The only thing that could turn this team around is if I'm able (and willing) to watch them.

college basketball
George Mason Patriots 5-1
opponent - result
Vermont - W
Kansas State - W
Villanova - L

Mason is a team with the talent to make the NCAA tournament and then ruin your bracket again. Folarin Campbell and Will Thomas are the team's best players and both started in the 2006 Final Four. The role players are quite talented as well.

Miami RedHawks 3-1
opponent - results
Southern California - L
Mississippi State - W

Bramos and Tim Pollitz are the two best players for a team that utilizes a methodical style. They have plenty of hardworking role players. With wins over Xavier and Mississippi State, Miami is on their way to creating a strong resume to make the NCAA Tournament, where their style could upset somebody.

Georgetown Hoyas 3-0

I haven't seen Georgetown play yet. Roy Hibbert, Jesse Sapp, DeJuan Sommers, and Jonathan Wallace are the best returning players from last year's Final Four team.

college football
Miami RedHawks 6-6
opponent - result
Akron - W

Couldn't really tell you anything about them. I'm just not a college football fan because of the stupid BCS. All I know it that Akron game was probably the most boring game I've ever watched, despite the combined 4 interceptions in the end zone.

Two in a Row

The Buffalo Bills lost their second straight game, this time Jacksonville against the Jaguars. The game represented a typical bad game for the Bills this season. The J.P. Losman-led offense couldn't move the ball. The defense bent but didn't break until the end when the Jaguars added two touchdown within the last three minutes of the game to make it look worse than it was.

The Bills are 2-5 with Losman as a starter and 3-1 when Trent Edwards gets the nod. Loman has proven himself to be a competent and even flashy QB in small doses, something that would make him a valuable backup at this stage of career. He has also proven that he can't win consistently when he starts. He threw for 211 yards with 1 TD, but committed three turnovers, including two picks.

I caught the fourth quarter and Losman wasn't able to come threw in the clutch with his team down by 8. He threw a late interception, which drained the team of its remaining spirit and allowed Jacksonville to pour it on with 14 late points.

The loss of rookie running back Marshawn Lynch over the last two games as been huge. Without him, they're a struggling bunch without an offensive identity and a beat up defense. With him, they're a young exciting team, with a varied offense and an over-achieving defense.

The best part of the Bills has been the special teams on all sides. They'll need help from the other two sides of the ball down the stretch. The Bills have to start winning again immediately against Washington.

John Edwards - A Closer Look

John Edwards is a former senator from North Carolina and running for the Democratic nomination for president.

Here are some of Edwards' points that I like:

• Would withdraw all combat troops within 10 months of inauguration
• Healthcare plan: gov't competes with private insurance companies
• Universal pre-kindergarten, pay raise for teachers in low-income schools
• Would reverse NAFTA
• Against vote naming Iran Revolutionary Guard a terrorist group
• A path to citizenship for undocumented immigrants

Here are some I don't like:

• Believes only 50,000 troops should be withdrawn from Iraq now
• Would only withdraw 50,000 within several months of inauguration
• Would overhaul No Child Left Behind, no do away with
• Punish employers for hiring undocumented workers
• Pro-death penalty
• Against gay marriage (for civil unions)
• Wants fencing and increase security on Mexican border

Here are some irrelevant fun facts:

• Believe or not, it's a wig
• Won Miss North Carolina 1976
• Was never an ambulance chaser, he waited near the hospital
• Has unhealthy obsession with Steven Seagal
• Is the son of mill worker, and a bad mill worker at that
• Boxed under the name Pretty Pete McIrish
• Can't see dead people, but can smell them in his backyard

As Pakistan Turns

The political scene in Pakistan has played out like a soap opera.
Backstory: During the 1990s, Nawaz Sharif and Benazir Bhutto exchanged the title of prime minister of Pakistan with each other back and forth. The one in power was the face of dictatorial corruption and the one not in power represented hope, change, accountability, and democracy.

During the mid 1990s, a former cricket captain, national hero, and relative of one of my friends, came onto the political scene. Imran Khan started a fledgling party to counteract the cycle of corruption rampant at the country's highest level.

Meanwhile, a man named Pervez Musharraf continued to work his way up the military ladder.

In 1999, it happened to be Nawaz Sharif's turn to run Pakistan into the ground again. He had recently fired his military chief and replaced him with a man named Pervez Musharraf. Sharif continued to be weary of the military power. One night, Musharraf was on his way back to Pakistan when his plane was hijacked in a sense. Sharif ordered the aircraft not be allowed to land in the country. He told them to go to Bombay if they wanted to land. Bombay, of course, is located in enemy territory.

The military caught wind of what was going on and dethroned Sharif. After his plane landed in Pakistan with barely enough fuel, Musharraf was placed in power. Immediately Sharif and Bhutto were forced to flee the country.

Musharraf's rule towed the line of having to cater to the demands of the United States in the war on terror while not upsetting his constituency. He held the duel roles of Pakistani president and military chief throughout.

2007: With an election approaching this year, Musharraf took actions to make sure he stayed in power. He suspended the chief justice of the supreme court because they disagreed. This made him immensely unpopular in a country where the elite are very conscious of how they are viewed in the wider world, especially when compared to rival India.

This fall, with the election approaching, suddenly old faces started to reappear. Muharraf and Bhutto were in negotiations to come to a power-sharing agreement.

Nawaz Sharif wanted back in and flew to Pakistan, for the first time since he fled. Upon arrival a tense standoff occurred while Sharif was on his plane on the tarmac. Sharif was whisked away and found himself on a plane to Saudi Arabia.

The next to attempt to come back was Benazir Bhutto. She arrived amongst cheers that she would restore democracy back to Pakistan. Perhaps short-memories are a national attribute.

Now: Soon after, Musharraf declared a state of emergency. He deterred his political enemies, which was just about everyone in Pakistan by this point. Bhutto was placed under house arrest. The police came for the small time, under-funded cricket player-turn-politician. But Imran Khan ran and hid. Eventually he gave himself up to the cheers of students gathered at a rally. Bhutto's house arrest was eventually lifted. International pressure has continued to build on Musharraf's shoulders. He hasn't kept his promises of democracy and now his rule is hurting his country.

In this crazy scene, Nawaz Sharif is intending to make another trip back to Pakistan this Sunday. Join us next time for As Pakistan Turns.

The Case Against 50 Shekel

50 Shekel was a terrible Jewish parody rapper who has since found Jesus and is now a terrible Christian rapper. I will attempt to prove that he is terrible, an embarrassment, offensive, and I hate him.

I must admit that his name is brilliant. He took the name of a popular rapper, 50 Cent, and then exchanged the name Cent for the Israeli alternative, Shekel. The only thing I can think of more clever than that is Snoopy Catt.

50 Shekel has the worst rhymes, the worst flow, and the worst voice. He says that kids think he's cool. Kids think peeing in their pants is cool. They think eating their own boogers is cool. They think Britney Spears is cool. 50 Shekel says adults think he's cool. These are the same people who thought Elvis was soulful and original.

50 Shekel's music is corny. In Ecuador, they make canguil out of 50 Shekel CDs. Amerindians call his music maizey. On the 4th of July, we eat 50 Shekel Cds-on-the-cob. Snickers has shifted to high-fructose 50 Shekel CDs syrup. He's worse than my jokes.

50 Shekel claims that he's not a stereotype. He explains in a very nebishy way, "I'm just being me. I don't know, am I a stereotype?" The answer is yes. Perhaps your personality is an offensive stereotype. It's not unheard of. Perhaps when Jewish people look at you or here your terrible rhymes, they are embarrassed because you are a digusting stereotype that makes Bill Riccio smile. Even your name, Aviad Cohen is a stereotype.

In addition, you're mocking Hip Hop, a form of art and cultural expression started by blacks and Puerto Ricans. So you're embarrassing and offending them too. Sure, there is room for other cultures to expand the dimensions of Hip Hop, but I hope you don't think your terrible songs are part of that expansion. You make C. Delores Tucker look like Chuck D.

50 Shekel says that his inspiration came from seeing many creative Jews, but nobody was doing what he was doing. There's a good reason for that. It's because you suck.

You think you're hot shit because you're a kohen? Fuck that. Man, my balls are kohanim (that's true). That shit went out with the Holocaust. We're all the same.

Now 50 Shekel is a Jew for Jesus, also known as a Christian. Jews don't believe that Jesus is the messiah or divine, it's kind of a fundamental thing. So you can't be a Jew for Jesus. You gotta pick one, either you're a Jew or you're for Jesus. You think calling him Yeshua fools us? We know you're talking about Jesus douchebag.

So you're a Christian and you've stereotyped Jews. Why don't you just piss on Yad Vashem, Mr. Cohen? You're a disgrace to the human race, you fuckface. Go to hell. Case closed.

Sad State of Affairs

The New York Knicks are 2-8. It's not a likeable underdog 2-8. It's not a give-it-all-you-got but under-talented 2-8. It's a franchise in turmoil 2-8. A sexually harassed 2-8. A 2-8 with very little redeeming qualities.

The coach, Isiah Thomas is better at sexually harassing than at coaching basketball. Stephon Marbury is better at leaving the team than running a team. Eddy Curry, Zach Randolph, and Quentin Richardson aren't very good at anything. None of the above is tremendously likeable.

I've always felt that Jamal Crawford has the talent to become the scoring leader of a decent team. He needs to be more consistent and have a new collection of teammates. Eventually, I'm just going to have to admit that I was wrong, but that moment hasn't arrived yet.

The sad thing about it is that guys like Ronaldo Balkman, Nate Robinson, and David Lee are associated with this bunch of heartless losers. At least these three try. They actually dive on the floor if the ball is rolling around there. They might even want to win the game, at least Lee and Balkman.

It's a sad state of affairs when it's excruciating to root for your favorite team since childhood, but that's what the Knicks have become. It's time to fire Isiah Thomas and get rid of everyone on the Knicks and fast. Hey, Thomas managed to revamp the team into this mess in only a couple years time, so it's possible.

Blacks vs Jews, Emcees

On this edition of Black vs Jews, a friendly competition between the groups, we'll examine two emcees. Talib Kweli is my favorite emcees and he's black. 50 Shekel is an emcee and a Jew.

Talib Kweli rhymes about righting injustices, hope in the heart of darkness, and he does it with an angry compassion. He describes himself as a "legendary lyricist, nice-guy persona. My songs celebrate life and you can play them for your mama." 50 Shekel is a Jewish paraody rapper, who isn't as good as Jew Live Crew or Jew Tang Clan. 50 Shekel doesn't describe himself in rhyme.

Kweli says things like, "Even when the condition is critical, when the living is miserable, your position is pivotal, I ain’t bullshitting you." - Get By

50 Shekel says things like, "You can find me in da shul, praying after school. Honey I got the Chevitz if you're jumping in my pool." - In Da Shul

Kweli: “Who needs the chains when you can enslave the mind.” - Time Zone

50 Shekel says, well, let's get some more Kweli lyrics: “In Africa, they’re starving. Over here, the food hurts you. Cows gone mad and the chickens caught the bird flu.” - Eat to Live

Kweli: “No question being a black man is demanding. The fire’s in my eyes and the flames need fanning.” K.O.S. [Determination]

50 Shekel: "The best part is, when I get all these kids who email me, all these adults who email me, I don't feel so much alone as a Jew. Oy." An interview about why he's not an embarrassing stereotype

Kweli: "At exactly which point do you start to realize that life without knowledge is death in disguise." K.O.S. [Determination]

50 Shekel rather awkwardly, somewhat arrogantly, and sort of insultingly states: "When I met an African-American teenage girl who heard my song, she kept on singing the chorus to "In Da Shul" all day. She wanted to know what the words meant, so I explained it to her and she totally got it. Who would ever imagine that an African-American girl from Harlem would get a chance to learn some Yiddish and sing a fun Jewish song with 50 Shekel? I feel that what I'm doing is bridging the gaps between Jews and non-Jews and uniting races."

Kweli: "My heart goes out to everyone at Ground Zero. Red, black, yellow, white, and brown heroes. It's more complicated than black or white. To give your own life is the greatest sacrifice." - The Proud

50 Shekel: "Wait 365 to light my menorah. Spin the dreidel as we read from the Torah." - Chanukah Jam

Kweli: "A flower that grow in the ghetto know more about survival than the one from fresh meadow." - Love Language

50 Shekel has said, "I'm always going to be me and part of being me is being a Jew. So instead of changing everything and hiding from being a Jew, I decided to completely do the opposite, embrace it and not just embrace it, but speak out for our culture. It's about celebrating the culture and celebrating the Jew life." He has since found Jesus and become a Jew for Jesus, who are usually called Christians.

Talib Kweli has something to say about that too, "Taught that if you don’t know Jesus, then you lead a hollow life. Never question that Jesus was Jewish, not a Christian, nor that Christianity was law according to politicians. Who is King James? And why did he think it was so vital to remove chapters and make his own version of the bible?" - Give 'em Hell

The winner is obviously:
Talib Kweli
Overall standings: Blacks 5 Jews 2