Tuesday, January 31, 2017

Knock Knock

I don't often joke with my students, but yesterday I decided to try and bring a little levity in an uncertain world.


Me: Knock knock

8 year old: (excitedly) Who's there?

Me: What does it matter? We're all just insignificant specs living on a tiny planet where certain segments of humanity fail to celebrate or value our species' different identities, but instead fear them. A world where we care more about how others' actions affect us rather than how our actions affect others. A country where facts and reality hold less authority than the narrative of the powerful. Where political persuasion matters more than competency. So, no, the revelation of a potential visitor for the sake of sophomoric word play matters little at this juncture.

8 year old: (sobs uncontrollably)


I've been granted a one-week leave of absence.

Saturday, January 07, 2017

NFL Playoff Predictions

Check out what the playoff matchups would look like if the NFL did things in a fairer way.

NFC
Seattle over Detroit 17-9
Green Bay over NY Giants 35-31

Seattle over Atlanta 24-20
Dallas over Green Bay 31-21

Seattle over Dallas 20-13

AFC
Pittsburgh over Miami 38-10
Houston over Oakland 13-3

New England over Houston 45-3
Kansas City over Pittsburgh 24-15

New England over Kansas City 27-24 OT

Super Bowl LI
Seattle over New England 31-27

Friday, January 06, 2017

NFL's New Format Final Standings

If the NFL moved back to two divisions per conference, we would get fairer and more exciting playoff games.

NFC South and East
1) Dallas 13-3
2) Atlanta 11-5
3) NY Giants 11-5
4) Tampa Bay 9-7
5) Washington 8-7-1
6) New Orleans 7-9
7) Philadelphia 7-9
8) Carolina 6-10

NFC North and West
1) Seattle 10-5-1
2) Green Bay 10-6
3) Detroit 9-7
4) Minnesota 8-8
5) Arizona 7-8-1
6) LA Rams 4-12
7) Chicago 3-13
8) San Francisco 2-14

The playoff seeding would look like this:
1) Dal, 2) Sea, 3) Atl, 4) NYG, 5) GB, 6) Det.

The Wild Card round would look like this:
3) Atl 11-5 vs. 6) Det 9-7; 4) NYG 11-5 vs. 5) GB 10-6.

Instead of this:
3) Sea 10-5-1  vs. 6) Det 9-7; 4) GB 10-6 vs. 5) NYG 11-5.

The Giants would have a home game under the new system as they should. They have a better record than Green Bay. Seattle sewed up the West weeks ago, so their record is a little misleading.

AFC North and East
1) New England 14-2
2) Pittsburgh 11-5
3) Miami 10-6
4) Baltimore 8-8
5) Buffalo 7-9
6) Cincinnati 6-9-1
7) NY Jets 5-11
8) Cleveland 1-15

AFC South and West
1) Kansas City 12-4
2) Oakland 12-4
3) Denver 9-7
4) Houston 9-7
5) Tennessee 9-7
6) Indianapolis 8-8
7) San Diego 5-11
8) Jacksonville 3-13

The playoff seeding would look like this:
1) NE, 2) KC, 3) Oak, 4) Pit, 5) Mia, 6) Den.

The Wild Card round would look like this:
3) Oak 12-4 vs. 6) Den 9-7; 4) Pit 11-5 vs. 5) Mia 10-6.

Instead of this mess:
3) Pit 11-5 vs. 6) Mia 10-6; 4) Hou 9-7 vs. 5) Oak 12-4.

It doesn't make any sense that Houston that won 3 fewer games- in a weaker division- has a home playoff game against Oakland.