Harvey Weinstein Apologized, Comes Out

Following allegations of sexual assault by dozens of women, Harvey Weinstein has been defiant. That is, until now. In a new statement posted on his Facebook account, Weinstein takes a different tack while making a litany of startling admissions.

Here is the statement in full:

As many of you know, I have been accused of numerous despicable transgressions. While I don't remember any of the countless incidents per se, I am beyond horrified to learn of them. If I behaved in the ways the dozens upon dozens of women have described, I want to offer the supposed victims my deepest and sincerest apologies.

It is very painful to admit, but I must come clean. I am afflicted with sex addiction. Coming of age in the 60's and 70's we were not taught how to face up to our own flaws. I realize that I need to become a better person. As a result, I am going to check into a rehab center in Europe to conquer my demons.

This story has forced me to address other things about my life. As those closest to me know, I am gay. I have had relationships with many women-  a few of them even without the aid of sexual assault believe it or not- but I choose now to live as a gay man.

As those closest to me also know, I am an alcoholic. Alcohol has fueled many of my poor decisions over the years, and it is a problem that sorely needs addressing. I have decided to check into an alcohol rehab center as soon as my sex rehab is over. I want to deal with this honestly and that starts with correcting my alcoholism.

As fewer people know, sometimes I suffer from a debilitating disorder which results in bouts of feeling light headed if I go too long without eating. This has also forced me into making some poor judgments particularly in the way I've behaved with colleagues. I vow to eat more regularly in the future. I've decided to carry some granola bars in my pockets in case I get hungry and other dietary options are not readily available.

And finally, I have become aware that I have an addiction to raping. This addiction has caused me to exploit my powerful position to gain access to beautiful young women who hope to meet me in a professional setting and then I rape them. Sometimes this is straight up rape and other times this is rape that ends with me ejaculating into a potted plant for some reason. After I'm done with my other rehab programs, I'm going to check into the infamous rape rehab program at Rikers.