I kept stressing the importance of Islamophobia. All across America, ludicrous bills were passed in Republican strongholds banning Shariah law. Many Americans didn't even want mosques built in their communities. An embarrassingly high number conflating over a billion Muslims with the minute percentage of terrorists who claim to follow the Islamic faith. My plan was to exploit that bigotry all the way to the Republican nomination.
I quickly wrote an internal memo laying out our plan to focus on Muslim-hating: "Donald J. Trump is calling for a total and complete shutdown of Muslims entering the United States until our country’s representatives can figure out what is going on."
I was tired when I wrote it. The memo included bullshit justifications from dubious polls. But I knew we couldn't rely on "facts." So I included this justification: "Without looking at the various polling data, it is obvious to anybody the hatred is beyond comprehension."
This was just hastily written brainstorms. I was hoping to talk to the rest of the campaign crew about how to best present our anti-Muslim stance. Then I turned on the news and this idiot actually read my memo word for word at a press conference. He even started it, "Donald J. Trump is calling for a total and complete shutdown of Muslims entering the United States..."
"Donny! What the fuck was that?" I screamed over the phone that night.
"What's wrong?" Trump asked like a kid about to be scolded.
"That was a fucking internal memo! You moron! It was complete nonsense. And why the hell did you start it in the third person?"
"Oh! Whoops," Trump admitted. "I couldn't go out there and wing it. You know this bigotry angle doesn't come naturally to me."
"Yeah, I know, but that wasn't for this press conference."
"Oh no! Do you think it will hurt the campaign?" Trump wondered.
"Yes! You sounded insane out there. We need to be tighter in the future," I demanded. "If we have one."
As you know, it didn't hurt the campaign. By the time the South Carolina primary rolled around, 75% of the Republican electorate in that state actually agreed with what would become known as "the ban." Trump kept surging in the polls.
A few weeks later, at a rally, Trump exclaimed, "I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot someone and not lose any voters."
I was tired when I wrote it. The memo included bullshit justifications from dubious polls. But I knew we couldn't rely on "facts." So I included this justification: "Without looking at the various polling data, it is obvious to anybody the hatred is beyond comprehension."
This was just hastily written brainstorms. I was hoping to talk to the rest of the campaign crew about how to best present our anti-Muslim stance. Then I turned on the news and this idiot actually read my memo word for word at a press conference. He even started it, "Donald J. Trump is calling for a total and complete shutdown of Muslims entering the United States..."
"Donny! What the fuck was that?" I screamed over the phone that night.
"What's wrong?" Trump asked like a kid about to be scolded.
"That was a fucking internal memo! You moron! It was complete nonsense. And why the hell did you start it in the third person?"
"Oh! Whoops," Trump admitted. "I couldn't go out there and wing it. You know this bigotry angle doesn't come naturally to me."
"Yeah, I know, but that wasn't for this press conference."
"Oh no! Do you think it will hurt the campaign?" Trump wondered.
"Yes! You sounded insane out there. We need to be tighter in the future," I demanded. "If we have one."
As you know, it didn't hurt the campaign. By the time the South Carolina primary rolled around, 75% of the Republican electorate in that state actually agreed with what would become known as "the ban." Trump kept surging in the polls.
A few weeks later, at a rally, Trump exclaimed, "I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot someone and not lose any voters."
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