We left the hotel and walked to the train station. On the way Candace declared, "It's so stupid that the drive on the left here! You can't even turn right on red!" I replied, "You can go left on red instead." This baffled and angered her for some time until it hit her that I was right.
On the train, I whispered something about the guy sitting to our left. She looked right and disagreed with my assement. I asked her to look at towards her other left and then she agreed that he was hairier than I am (no small feat).
Now you have understand, Candace is not some ditz. She is far and away the smartest person I've ever met. That's why she'll never live these mistakes down!
We entered the train station and switched the scooter to push mode. We passed by two ticket taking guys without issues this time. We were early and hopped an earlier train in an unreserved car. We found seats, but the car was crowded. No one said anything about the scooter though.
We pushed out of the bullet train portion of the Shin-Osaka station and got some help purchasing our subway tickets. We got off the subway and figured out how to go to the hotel. Our maps haven't been great, but we've figured things out. Candace prpvided the research and steller eye sight and I have a good sense of direction and street smarts. Candace might laugh at that, but what about following the train tracks in Tokyo. Exactly!
In Osaka, we're staying in an area littered with Love Hotels. They each have rest rates and stay rates. They're essentially hourly motels, but some are pretty fancy. One was called Come on My House. There are also a ton of massage parlors in the area.
We walled to Dotombori, which was something like Times Square on whatever Roger Clemens was on towards the end of his career. There were so many shops and lights and people. And it went on for blocks. Giant octopi, giant dragons, and so and so forth.
It was too much for me. We ate udon noodles in a restaurant not too far from Dotombori, but off the main strip. Candace invented a new method of eating noodles with one chopstick. For my part, I wemt to the bathroom and violently relieved my bowels. Then I realized I had a problem. Nope, there was ample toilet paper. The problem was there were too many buttons and they were all in Japanese, specifically the Kanji script, which I happen not to understand. I didn't want to get sprayed with the bidet, so I closed the lid and pressed at random. I happened to be right and the toilet flushed.
In Dotombori, locals dressed up in interesting outfits. I couldn't belive what people were wearing and what they did with their hair. Speaking of which, many Japanese people wear doctor's masks out in public. Candace tells me people do it as a public service if they're starting to feel sick. I'm inclined to believe her. She also said that some young people wear it as a sign to leave them alone, which is the vibe I get from it.