Monday, August 27, 2012

Journal Entry 8/27/2012

Apparently, diplomatic immunity does not extend to exiled dictators in America. That's what I get for putting my trust in Congressman Todd Akin! Thanks a lot, buddy!

So, since I'm currently unable to legally force women to be with me, I've had to stick to the online dating. I had a lovely evening of Indian food and witty banter with one woman who went to the bathroom when the check came and then apologized for going to the bathroom after I had paid. Later on the date, I had my arm on the back of the bench, but she didn't lean in when I had moved my arm there, so I was unsure about putting it around her. This made it difficult for me to make my move. As the former (benevolent!) maniacal dictator of my own personal fiefdom, these are problems I'm unaccustomed to.

I was at the metro and I had a question about peak of the peak fares before I put more money on my card. So I asked the attendant. I was in the middle of my question when the attendant said, "Just a second," shooed me aside, and opened the little swing gate for a native Washingtonian. My dignity was insulted. I ruled my own country for multiple years, decreed to my little heart's content, and this is the treatment I receive in return? I demand respect! After all, I drive a Honda Accord!

This week's projects include: further attempting to figure out the online dating scene, performing everyday tasks with extreme difficulty because my ability to do so has atrophied due to my time as the Dear and Fearless Leader, and finding Congressman Todd Akin so I can punch that rape-tease right in the face.

I'm looking forward to the rest of the week. Bye for now!!!!

1 comment:

Your stalker said...

Humph. That is that wrong lovely date with Indian food and witty banter to write about, jerkface.