Wednesday, November 09, 2011

A New Republican Candidate

I'm throwing my hat into the Republican presidential campaign. I have the policy proposals the people want.

I think government sucks. I hate abortions and gay marriage. Mexicans should go back to Mexicano. I enjoy sexually harassing women and killing coyotes during my jogging sessions. I'm also a big fan of racist hunting ground names and praying away the gay. I'm for building three walls on the southern border and electrifying two of them. I wouldn't allow any Muslims in my administration or any government job for that matter. I would force Libya, Iraq, Afghanistan, and several other countries to reimburse us for the bombs we've dropped on them. Bombs are expensive. I'd cut taxes all to 4.5%. I'd also raise all taxes to 4.5% for everyone on everything. Lastly, and most importantly, I will flip flop on every single issue listed above.

This just in... I'M THE NEW FRONT RUNNER FOR THE NOMINATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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