No Sexting Scandal For Me

Brett Favre allegedly texted a picture of his (likely) wrinkly penis to a sideline reporter who looks like a younger, slightly hotter, version of his wife (who is a cancer survivor). If the allegations are true, which they probably are (because if they're not, we have quite a story that I've already deemed "The Incredible Penis Mix Up" just in case), it's all pretty sick.

But it got me thinking. I'm willing to go on record and safely say that I will never be involved in a sexting scandal. For starters, I'm thoroughly impressed that Brett Favre would be able to send a picture of his penis via text. I didn't realize that was possible and certainly wouldn't know how to do that.

Secondly, I can't dream of a situation where I would even want to send a picture of my penis to someone via text. I can't imagine that a picture of my penis would be very enticing. I think I'd only send a picture of it if I was explicitly asked, and I'm relatively sure that I will never be asked to text a picture of my penis to anyone.

That takes me to the sexting in general, sans penis. Maybe I'm old. Maybe the generational line for thinking texts are anything but tacky messages you send to someone you don't really want to talk to occurred the day after I was born. I just can't fathom sending a text for any other reason than to determine how late someone will be or to make the occasional pithy comment.

And it just takes me forever to write a text. By the time I've written a sexually explicit text, I would have had more than enough time to reconsider. I have a "classic" cell phone. Are they still called "cell phones"? No keyboard on the screen or other sci-fi crap like that. I don't have an Iphone and hearing the abbreviation BBM makes me giggle. I can only think of a big bowel movement when I hear those three letters. So, in conclusion, no sexting scandal for me. Sorry.