Monday, August 09, 2010

D+ Scenario

Rent was due. I had the money. I just didn't have a way to get it to my roommate immediately. If he didn't get my half of the rent, his check would bounce.

I grabbed my checkbook, prepared to write the monthly amount. I tore off a check that read VOID. When putting the gas bill in my name, the company had needed a security deposit. They suggested the cash by phone method, which I had never heard of. Behind the voided check was the back of the checkbook. I didn't realize I had run out of checks.

I googled my bank to see where the closest location was. It was already 4:15 and I knew that most of my bank's locations close at 5. I could only take out $300 from the ATM and apparently, that wouldn't have been enough to keep my roommate's check from bouncing.

I drove up and down the road looking for the address. The pressure of the moment and the near 100-degree heat were getting to me. I had thrown on a paid of jeans in the rush, which wasn't helping the situation. Finally, I parked, luckily finding the one spot in the area that I didn't have to pay for (I have a moral aversion to paying for parking).

I parked and ran to a Starbucks I had seen to try and find the address to determine which direction I needed to walk. I had no idea what time it was as I forgot my phone at home and don't wear a watch (they make me feel uneven and plus I'd be checking it every 20 seconds). The Starbucks didn't have a number. I asked a couple of girls enjoying their lattes out in the sweltering heat. "I've never heard of that bank," was one response." "I have! Their logo is blue," was the other. I saw a Marriott and figured they must know.

A receptionist with a flag of the Philippines on his pin, although he was obviously born and raised in America, checked the location of my bank on the computer. I realized he was just googling it. He gave me some vague instructions. Back into the heat I ran.

A police officer was checking the doors of the local university when I called out to him. I told him that I was looking for the bank. Out of breath and covered in sweat, I added that I needed to pay rent, hoping that would ease any suspicion. He offered a mocking yet sympathetic smile and then proceeded to give me the most specific directions of my life.

I flew to the bank and found it open in the university's student center, nowhere near the road. Looking like I had just walked out of the shower, the woman at the bank reluctantly greeted me. She took down my information, checked my driver license twice as I twiddled my thumbs. Finally, she told me the checks had been ordered. She mentioned I could have done this over the phone. It was at the moment that my dumb ass realized it takes a few weeks to get checks. I guess I'd have to withdraw money and give my random roommate cash.

But wait! The bank has something called temporary checks! I bought one for a dollar. But before you think I'm out of the woods, I still had to find my car. I was in a one-hour parking spot. Who knows how long I had been running around. My shirt, underwear, jeans, socks, and shoes had been soaked through. I couldn't afford to get my car towed and I had been turned around so many times I had no clue where my car was parked. After going back and forth a few times, I triumphantly unlocked the keys to my car.

When I got back home, my roommate, who spends most of his time near where I work, told me that he had lost his job and had all the time in the world. Seeing me drenched, he remarked, "We could have done this tomorrow." I immediately shot him in the head.

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