For the next 8 days, Jews can't eat anything leavened. How about, in honor of the Jews, for the next 8 days our leaders give up killing people. Is that too much to ask? Madonna loves the official Evil Leaders League site (claim unverified).
Kim vs al-Bashir
North Korea was originally suspected of sinking a South Korean battleship. It fits in with Kim Jong-Il's plan to rule his nation based on his favorite childhood board games. It's why he holds a monopoly on everything in the country. Unfortunately for his citizens, however, he never liked the game of Life. South Korea later had to admit that the North wasn't responsible for their ship sinking. Hey, when your spouse is always cheating, you don't assume they're absent because they're working late.
Omar al-Bashir says the ICC warrant on charges of genocide boosted his popularity. The same can be said for Jesse James. Further proof that girls like the bad boy. A few newspaper editors were questioned recently for insulting al-Bashir. So ladies, he's sensitive too. Add to his description that he's very committed to his faith and you get the perfect dreamboat.
It's not how you play the game; it's if you win it. Check out the winners at the Evil Leaders League site.
Shwe vs Ahmadinejad
Myanmar junta leader Than Shwe says that his Burmese citizens should avoid "divisive acts" in order to keep the country's road to democracy on track, which makes about as much sense as O.J. writing a book entitled If I Did It to prove his innocence. But it's an understandable mistake; Burmese dictionaries skip from demobilize to démodé (Don't think about that one too much).
Iranian leader Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is like an absurdly arrogant geek who acts hard on the internet because he knows he'll never have to back it up. The bearded big mouth claims the sanctions placed against Iran for their pursuit of nuclear technology won't hurt the poor Persian nation. How can he make such an outrageous claim? Hey, his terms will be up in a few years and then he'll be out like Clay Aiken.
Obiang vs Berlusconi
The head of Equatorial Guinea, Teodoro Obiang, didn't have much going on this week besides being caught leering through the window of a yoga studio and being asked to leave. Obiang claims he was merely on his way towards the nearby Burger King, but the yoga instructor asserts the dictator was frozen in place outside of the yoga studio for several minutes mumbling something about young juicy tushes.
Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi's party faired poorly in recent regional elections. Berlusconi has no idea why. People don't like an incompetent, corrupt adulterer, who childishly derides anyone who disagrees with him? I thought this was Italy!
Morales vs Karzai
Indigenous President of Bolivia, Evo Morales, is railing against American imperialism yet again. He gets his inspiration from the large poster of Che Guevara hanging in his office. But don't get too close to the poster, it's very sticky.
As part of his gangsta upbringing, Hamid Karzai refuses to turn in one of his ministers who is accused of corruption. It's part of the gangsta code: Never give into The Man. Someone should probably tell Karzai that he is The Man. It's not standing up to authority when you are the authority. President Obama visited Karzai asking for his help on stopping corruption and to generally stop fucking things up for Obama and doing an overall shitty job.
click for Standings
No comments:
Post a Comment