Stop Ignoring Me!

Dear United States,

We, the leadership of Botswana, are sick of being ignored by you. We call you. You don't call us back. We email you. You ignore us. All we want is a little attention. Attention that you readily give to other jerks like Sudan, Somalia, Iraq, and Afghanistan. What do they have that we don't got? Are you merely attracted to that "bad boy" act?

We know, we've got some problems. Our democracy is a bit flawed as our presidents tend to retire so their chosen successor can ascend to the top spot without a proper election. But compared to the other countries you deal with, you gotta admit, that ain't half bad. We're not always so nice to the Sans, who live out in the bush. It's something we're working on, honest. Plus, it's not like we're hacking certain ethnic groups to bits like the others.

And we have a lot of good points as well. We're a developing country whose leaders tend to put the health of the nation above their own bank accounts. Or do you prefer big bank accounts? I didn't think you were like that. And sure, there's disparity between the rich and the poor, but that's true with you too. Our streets are safe, our growth is impressive. How about showing us some love? Or at least a phone call.

Sincerely,
The Batswana Leadership

P.S. Did you get the diamond necklace we got you? How'd you like it? We tried to ask before, but you never got back to us.
(International edition)