Monday, December 07, 2009

Encountering a Nazi at Work

"You're Jewish?" a student of mine asks with disconcerting surprise. "I'm going to tell the Nazis to come get you!"

A week later, the student, an eleven year old girl, enters the learning center. She's accompanied by her mother and a large man with no hair who looks remarkably out of place. "There he is!" my student bubbles while skipping towards me and pointing. The buff bald man donning a light camouflage jacket, which is left opened exposing his brown wife beater, and army green khakis, focuses his eyes on me. A snarl of delight runs across his lips. "Come with me kike," his gruff voice demands nonchalantly.

I stifle a "Go fuck yourself," remembering that there are several young students occupying the room. "Let's go Jew," he recites, now standing right over me as I sit next to my computer. I figure I can better deal with the situation from outside the learning center, so I rise and begin to walk out the door. As I'm leaving, I look at the eleven year old girl and offer, "What about her? She's Asian." The man motions for her to follow us.

Outside, he grabs me. I aim for his balls, but can't seem to find the target. Another, smaller man, gets a hold of my student. We're dragged outside. I'm putting up a fight, wailing away, but nothing seems to be working. My student is stiff and motionless. We're thrown into their van and beaten into submission.

I awake in a shed. My student is sitting in the fetal position next to me. "What is this place?" she asks me. She's looking at me as if I'm the path to her survival. Probably a makeshift concentration camp. "It's a shed." That seems to calm her a tinge. "Why are we here?" Because you told a Nazi that I'm Jewish! "Because you told a Nazi that I'm Jewish!" Her fright turns into a smirk, "I was just joking! And you told him I was Asian!" I lower my head in shame, "I didn't think he'd take it seriously. Plus, I didn't think that would be any great revelation." She's ready to pounce and then recoils, "What?" I give her a "Never mind."

"I'm hungry." I lean back and tell her, "Get used to it." Just then the larger man bursts through the door. "Here you go, you fag cunts!" My student screams her tears. I'm trying to decipher what a fag cunt could possibly be. While attempting to uncork that paradox, the man slings two slices of cool bread into my face and leaves, not waiting for a response. I hand one to my student. Her tears change the consistency of her meal. I wipe her tears and squeeze her shoulder. "It'll be alright." She looks up at me with a child's optimism, "Really?" I smile, and in a fit of realism, respond, "I hope." For some reason, her tears dry and an old smile fills her face.

The next morning, after the worst night of sleep in my entire life, the smaller man enters. He throws two slices of bread on the floor as if we're pigs ready to pounce on slop. He begins to walk out of the shed.

"Wait. Sir."
"What kike?" He speaks quickly.
"Why are we here?"
"You know why, you Jew bastard."
"No sir, I don't. Why are we here?"
"Cletus says because you Jew fucks claim you were in concentration camps. But you Jews are liars. The Holocaust never happened."
"I still don't understand; why are we here?"
"You stupid Jew! Cletus says because we want to make an honest man out of you Jew turds. Understand now, idiot moron?"
"Yes. Thank you." The small man turns to leave, but I call out once more. "Wait." He turns slightly. "Do you like Hitler?"
He turns all the way to face me. "Well yes, of course!" His eyes are glowing with pride. "He did so many good things."
"Like what?" I ask with feigned innocent curiosity, hoping not to provoke him.
"Oh, well, so much. He killed so many dirty Jews. A great man. Too bad he didn't get a chance to kill them all."
"But sir," my hand is stroking my beard and I appear to be deep in thought as if I'm instantaneously discovering some great revelation, "You said the Holocaust never happened."
"It didn't, you lying Jew."
"But if the Holocaust didn't happen, then how can you claim Hitler killed so many Jews? That's exactly what the Holocaust is, Hitler's mass murder of the Jews."
The small man's lower jaw collapses. "Well... But... Cletus said... I... um..."
"You see sir, your beliefs don't make any sense."
"But... I... I... guess.... I guess... you're right," the last two words coming as his head falls.
"So you'll let us go?"
"Well, I guess I have to."

"Thanks." I pat him on the shoulder, wave for my student to come. She hasn't been listening. She sees my hand, perks up in amazement and races towards me. As I walk out of the door, I turn to the small man, who stands there, half the size he was two minutes before, and wink. I take my student's hand and we stride away from the shed, heads held high. "Do me a favor?" Her eyes stare with anticipation. "Don't joke around with Nazis anymore."

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