We all have our ways of relaxing after a tough day. Some prefer to toke one up, some have a beer, while others would rather snort meth off the ass of their gay prostitute (I'm not judging). Personally, I like to indulge in a Slurpee or two.
A Slurpee is especially called for after a visit to the dentist. I could use a Slurpee after learning about a suicide bomber murdering people at a graduation ceremony in Mogadishu. One is useful after hearing about an explosion of a bus carrying Iranian pilgrims visiting a Shi'a monument in Damascus, especially when the Syria government has the audacity to blame the explosion on a flat tire. And a Slurpee always helps me get over a Bills loss.
So you can imagine my frustration, no, anger, no, some combination of the two, with 7-Eleven's decision to institute skimpier Slurpee caps. The caps are no longer round and the top, but now cave in, preventing me from that extra bit of Slurpee goodness on after a hard day. Don't they realize that we're in a recession? Why deprive us of our enjoyment? That's pretty heartless. Not million dollar bonuses after we bailed your asses out, heartless. But heartless nonetheless.
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