Hi Murphy

Last night I had "mutton sheek kabob" for dinner. It was one of the spiciest things I've ever had. I forced down 3 of the 5 long kabobs until I had had enough. I gave the other two to a cycle rickshaw driver. He gave me such a look of appreciation. I felt good for a minute. Then I walked past the dozens of other cycle rickshaw drivers, not to mention the other inhabitants lining the dusty, polluted, crowded streets bordered by open sewers on both sides. I became overwhelmed.

Certainly, when one country steals from another for hundreds of years, as the British did here and in Africa, it makes sense that the victims would suffer. The colonial powers have never been required to pay the hefty indemnity that they should. Instead, they've created a system to run their victims into further debt. But the remnants of colonialism doesn't fully explain why people are so poor and the cities so dirty. The governments of India have been corrupt. They also know they won't be in power very long.

But here comes the difficult discussion. Is it partly a failure of society? There are cows roaming around shitting everywhere, but that shit is used in numerous productive ways. We must not mistake the unfamiliar for a failure. But the mounds and mounds of garbage that are a part of an Indian city does not serve any purpose save a negative one. There is an excess of rickshaw drivers hounding tourists, providing little benefit to society- besides the occasional cheap transportation to a local- and yet only a few outcasts make it their job to do something about the garbage. I'm not sure any of that answers my provocative question, but it's food for thought.

I talked with a Swiss woman who volunteered in Ladakh for the summer, but since then, things went a little downhill. The poverty has been getting to me. I'm sick of Agra. I only had 340 rupees, not enough to pay for my hotel room. A few ATMs I tried weren't working. I asked at a bank's information desk. When the guy saw me, he covered his mouth with a piece of paper. He mumbled behind the paper except for the one question, "WHAT DO YOU WANT?!" He was very unhelpful. As I was leaving, I turned around to see him lowering the paper. I was so mad. I wanted to go back and, if he did it again, let him have it. I'm even still thinking about going back there. It's probably better if I don't.

I did manage to extract 1500 rupees from an ATM, but that's only about $33, and it probably cost me $5 in fees. I got back to my room and the power went out. I felt like I was at the bottom. Five minutes later, the power came back on. I realized, the power needs to go out for it to come back on.