Thursday, January 08, 2009

Horrible Things I've Said to Children

"Stop twisting your tooth or I'm gonna knock it out."

"If there are any errors in your essay, you'll be thrown through a window."

"When you go outside, I'm gonna run you over with my car."

Little boy: I want all of Santa's presents.
"They won't all fit in your house. Santa has presents for every kid in the world, except the Jews."

Little girl: I fixed the internet. I can magically fix things.
"Can you fix my life?"

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