Observations

Looking around, I often wish there were more beautiful-looking people. But what if there are, and our standards have just shifted. People were probably even uglier back in the day. Evolutionarily, it makes sense.

Whenever I see a man driving a Lamborghini, BMW, or the like, I always think, "At least my penis is bigger than somebody's." That happened today. I needed the confidence boost.

Don't you hate when people make up words just to sound smart, like irregardless or evolutionarily.

I never put a bumper sticker advocating a political candidate on my car. If the election doesn't turn out the way you want, you look like a loser. But if it does and the candidate fucks everything up, then your car is a prime target to get peed on. Or at least it should be.

Don't you hate when people accuse you of making up words- like evolutionarily or Bush Doctrine- just because their stupid ass has never heard of it.

If you still see someone with a Bush bumper sticker on their car, and they're not trying to be ironic, please pee on the car. You have my permission.