McCain Likes It Short and Sweet

Since 2000, each Republican policy can be summed up in a neat little sentence. While they are often half-truths or outright lies, you have to admit, they're catchy. Let's look at the two major issues of John McCain's campaign right now.

1. "The surge is working."
It's short, it feels good to say, it's hard to argue against, and it's almost true. In a very narrow sense, the surge is working. American deaths in Iraq have gone down. However, Iraqis fall victim to suicide bombs just about every single day. It's not known how many Iraqis have died because the U.S. doesn't care to keep track. Iraq is not close to becoming a stable country and much of the U.S. soldiers' progress will erode as soon as they leave, whether that is tomorrow or in 100 years, because the underlying issues dividing the country have not been addressed by the surge.

Of course a heavier military presence will discourage people from acting out, but it won't create a fundamental change. I am a short man. The more tissues I stuff in my shoes, the taller I appear. But we all know, no matter how many tissues are in my shoes, I will always be a short man.

2. The oil and Middle East crises will be solved through offshore drilling.
No, John McCain isn't your fairy godmother. And this doesn't make any sense. The oil companies already have plenty of apportioned land off the U.S. coast with which to drill. If they were allowed to drill in environmentally protected areas as well, that gas wouldn't hit the pump for almost a decade, so the U.S. would still be forced to rely on oil from the Middle East to the same degree until then. Even at that point, U.S. reliance on Middle Eastern oil would only decrease slightly.

The U.S. needs to move towards alternative energy, which would help to solve the economic and environmental crises we face. Drilling for more oil just seems insane. If I'm addicted to cocaine and I have a bunch in my house that I haven't used yet, giving me more cocaine doesn't seem like the best solution in this particular situation.