Thursday, January 10, 2008

Me, The Genius

Last night I was listening to some Gershwin and it made me wish I was a genius at something, anything. The reviews are in and I don't think it's going to happen.

"His jokes are less funny the than shower scene in Schindler's List." - Tuscaloosa Jewish Weekly
"Not a fan." - neo-nazi Bill Riccio
"He'll never be accused of being smart, having talent, or achieving success." - Careerbuilder.com
"I wish he was dead." - The girl I like
"The only thing uglier than his face is his soul." - The other girl I like
"He doesn't brush enough." - The dentist
"Even for a man so tiny, his penis is small." - The doctor
"I wish his mother had gone through with the abortion." - My grandmother
"He makes Woody Allen look self-assured and well-adjusted." - Woody Allen's therapist
"He's a loser." - Same grandmother
"When it's time for me and my friends to brag about our grandchildren, I fake an attack of irritable bowel syndrome and get the hell out of there." - Grandma again

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