Monday, September 10, 2007

Evil Leaders League Finals, Game 1

The ELL Finals will be a best of 3 series (first one to 2 wins), with a short turn-around in between contests. Sudan's Omar al-Bashir is making his second consecutive appearance in the final round. He is the defending evil champion. Hugo Chavez of Venezuela is making his first finals showing in this, his second playoffs. Chavez has never beaten al-Bashir in ELL action. The Sudanese president beat Chavez in the regular season each of the last two seasons and in the last playoffs.

You've been waiting for this the whole season... the "analysis" of today's "evil" leaders that neither Ward Churchill nor Ann Coulter have the balls to give (for different reasons). Here is the result from Game 1 of the ELL Finals:

al-Bashir vs Chavez
UN Secretary General Ban Ki-Moon is giving his left nut to try and stop the genocide in the Darfur region of Sudan. That's more than I would do (the left is my favorite). Ban has gotten pledges from evil leaders, past and present, to move peace talks along. Meanwhile, a peace treaty between the north and south, which halted the civil war in 2005, could be in jeopardy. With all of this killing, there might not be any people left in Sudan before long. That would hurt Omar al-Bashir in the ELL, because it's hard to be evil without people. But until that point, Omar al-Bashir will continue to succeed in this league.

Whereas Omar al-Bashir is a vicious lion, Hugo Chavez is an annoying gnat. He's threatened the US with Vietnam-like guerrilla warfare if they assist in overthrowing leftist leaders in Latin America (what, Iraq-style guerrilla warfare isn't good enough for you? Racist). He's accused the US of devising those very plans. Listen Hugo Chavez... uh, who the fuck told you about those plans? Was it Jimmy Carter? Damn that self-righteous asshole! This is what happens when ex-presidents are given access to intelligence reports. Uh, wait! I mean, what plans? The US doesn't engage in covert action in Latin America. That Hugo Chavez has a wild imagination.
winner: al-Bashir
series: al-Bashir 1-0

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