Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Evil Leaders League, Week 2

Let's get the results from Week 2 of the ELL's second season:

Putin vs al-Bashir
Russia's Vladimir Putin sacked the secretary of the security council Igor Ivanov, because of political reasons according to investigative reports. However, officially Ivanov was fired because of everything from shady financial dealings in the 1970s, pro-Georgian sentiment, anal herpes, and a "ridiculously stereotypical Russian name." While the newcomer Putin is doing a great job of silencing his political opponents, Omar al-Bashir of Sudan had a quiet week. The only evil thing al-Bashir has done lately was to restart his X-box in the 3rd quarter of Madden 07 during an ass-whipping at the hands of the newly appointed governor of South Darfur, Ali Mahmoud.
winner: Putin

Chavez vs Lukashenko
An interesting matchup that features two leaders attempting to forge ties with Iran. Hugo Chavez of Venezuela has more imperialist ambitions than does Belarus' Alexander Lukashenko. That might be ironic considering Chavez considers himself the champion of the anti-American imperialism movement, but hypocrisy helps in the ELL. Chavez is also more dickish than Lukashenko (according to their mistresses).
winner: Chavez

Sarkozy vs Kim
Nicolas Sarkozy, the French president, wants the EU members to figure out the issue of illegal immigration together. Sarkozy wants Hezbollah to cease terrorist acts and traveled to north Africa to sell the idea of a potential Mediterranean Union. None of that sounds very evil, but I'm sure he's fairly rude; after all, he's French. North Korea's supreme leader reportedly pulls many overnighters and looks ill. Hey, scooping out the brains of dissidents deep into the night is strenuous work. So is threatening the world with nuclear weapons.
winner: Kim

Ahmadinejad vs Karimov
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad of Iran is willing to continue talks with the United States about stabilizing Iraq according to the Jerusalem Post. What a fucking monster! Islam Karimov is the leader of Uzbekistan. There's suppose to be an election coming up in the "U," but no one's sure if it's still on. Karimov might be campaigning now or maybe there won't be an election. The Uzbek press is allowed to cover the election that may or may not be happening as long as they cover Karimov's campaign, that might exist, favorably. Got that? Doesn't matter, the point is...
winner: Karimov

Putin 2-0
Karimo 2-0
al-Bash 1-1
Ahmad 1-1
Kim J-I 1-1
Chavez 1-1
Lukash 0-2
Sarkozy 0-2

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