Thursday, February 15, 2007

High Five For Gays

John Amaechi, an awful basketball player, recently announced that he is gay. His declaration made me want to learn more about "The Gay Athlete" DUN DUN DUN!

I learned that the high five was popularized by baseball player Glenn Burke, who was gay. YEAH! High five for Glenn Burke! High five for gay baseball players! High five for gay expressions of camaraderie! High five for John Amaechi and his terrible basketball skills. No, nobody? YOU'RE ALL HOMOPHOBES!

I learned that Canadian track and field athlete Brian Marshall won the decathlon in the 1990 Gay Games and then came out publicly in 1993, which shows the over-whelming popularity of the Gay Games. Brian Marshall, an Olympian and 2-time NCAA All-American, beat the likes of Kenny from marketing and Bruce the lawyer to capture the Gay Games gold.

The rest of the list of gay athletes is just about the saddest thing this side of Matthew Sheppard. Shame, suicides, diseases, death, and- strangely- female handball players. C'mon people, let's have some inspiring gay athletes. Not John Amaechi though, he was horrible at basketball. I mean, go to his basketball camp; he's still the best British player ever. But the call for inspirational gay athletes stands. The NBA seems to be the right path, even if Tim Hardaway and Karl Malone are huge bigots. And I'm sure Alonzo Mourning is too, he's a horrible person.

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