A few months ago, I wrote an open love letter to Kerri Strug (who is on my Jew team) . I have yet to hear from her.It's painful indeed. Every day is filled with sadness. I was hoping that by this point she would be using my body like a hirsute balance beam (or more accurately: like a hirsute pair of uneven bars- Wait, what? What the fuck does that mean?), but alas nothing.
I'm not sure why she hasn't answered my declaration of love? Is it because I'm too attractive? Or maybe, too intelligent? Do women not like guys with a great sense of humor? Is it because she doesn't read the blog? I thought everyone read the blog, especially Kerri Strug.
Right now I'm reeling. There are more questions than answers. I feel like Mark Foley, down, out, humiliated, and very turned on by young boys. Ok, so I don't feel entirely like Mark Foley, but you get the picture; shit is bleak.
Kerri, honey, sweetie, my love, my world, how 'bout giving me a call and maybe we'll catch a movie or something. Sound good?
No? Well I tried.
1 comment:
You sir, need to go out there and find her and win her over.
Yeah, she probably reads the blog, but I think she's waiting for you to personally extend the invitation.
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