Adolf Hitler used to lick public toilet seats (men's and women's). Through this hobby, he developed mustache crabs.
If Hitler was alive today, I wouldn't smack him around. Violence against him wouldn't help anything; it wouldn't bring back the dead. I don't fight fire with fire, I fight it with water. So, I'd wait until we were stuck in an elevator in between floors and then piss my pants and let it fester.*
* author's note - I'm used to the smell of my own urine.
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