Tuesday, March 15, 2005

A Sad Day

I find that whenever I find that feeling, you know, that feeling, that's when God has a whole new set of challenges for me. I've finally settled into this thing called my life, and then life a bus driving onto the sidewalk and hitting my grandmother, WHAM! shit happens. I've finally overcome the last difficult obstacle and a whole bunch of new ones are piled on my head.

I am the type of person who develops principles and then lives by them, no matter which way the tide is flowing. For some reason I expect the same of others, perhaps naively. I'm astonished when others don't take my feelings into account, when I know I would take theirs. You go through life and you meet these special people. You feel connections with them. Very powerful connections that, perhaps, reinforce your belief in something beyond human comprehension. When you learn that these connections are false, and always have been, it can be crushing.

There is no such thing as soul mates in my estimation. I had thought of a very secular definition for soul mates, but even that has proven to be untrue. People are fleeting. They move with the flavor of the month. If they do possess loyalties, they are often misplaced.

You finally believe that there is at least one other person in this world who sees things the same as you. Well, that's not possible, but at least a person who understands the way you see things and can appreciate that. Then you realize that person is just like everyone else on this doomed planet. Everyone is the same in their difference from you.

That is why I hate people. Of course I also love people, but that is for another day.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I once felt as you do but I have learned that on occasion you do find people who understand you more than others,people you can truly trust and people who would even give their lives for you. So please remember that just because you have had some disappointing relationships, that doesn't mean that you won't encounter some remarkable people in your future. Who knows one might even feel like a real soulmate.