The John Travolta Scandal

As reported by Tony Kornheiser on Pardon the Interruption on Monday, John Travolta's hair is magic. Or if it's not magic, we have a huge scandal on our hands. Kornheiser and PTI co-host Michael Wilbon were on Letterman last Thursday. Preceding them on the show was the aforementioned John Travolta, the actor famous for his portrayal of Vinny Barbarino, a sweathog from Brooklyn on the world renown sitcom, Welcome Back Kotter. Travolta's hair was cut short on the Letterman show. Travolta, whose movie career includes Battlefield Earth, a film that I have not seen, presented at the Oscars last Sunday night. His hair was long and slicked back. Now I know the stereotype that Italians are a hairy people, but c'mon! Something's going on here. I will continue to stay with this story as long as they talk about it on PTI on the days in which I am watching the program.

In other scandal news, baseball players have been taking steroids for years. Wait, what the fuck, this is a news flash? I must be honest, I felt like the only person in the world who resented Mark McGwire during his single season homerun chase back in 1998. So don't even give me that shit about how you all knew all along and were suspicious of the new record. To me Barry Bonds' record was more impressive. He beat a man with more advantages than he had. Not to say that one took steroids and the other didn't, but at least people rooted for McGwire.

Baseball should not be thought of in such romantic terms as it often is. However, the history of baseball, while not sacred, is important. It does have meaning. It has meaning to me. My solution is to wipe all individual records from 1994 until 2004 out of the books forever. The wins and losses can stay, but every individual stat should be thrown out. This will teach all baseball players a lesson. Certainly not all players took steroids, but many did know that their teammates were cheating and stayed silent. They should be punished. As for the innocent victims of the steroid scandal, talk to the innocent victims of the Sudanese genocide, and then shut the fuck up.

Another scandal involves Temple men's basketball coach, John Chaney, who ordered one of his players to play the part of a goon against rival St. Joseph's last week. The player elbowed an opponent in the face among other physical acts of aggression. But what Mr. Chaney has gotten in trouble for is a play that resulted in St. Joseph's senior forward John Bryant breaking his arm. The Temple goon pushed Bryant while he was in the air. Bryant then landed on his arm and it was eventually deemed broken. Bryant's college career is now over.

Despite this, there has been a complete and total overreaction by the sports world regarding Mr. Chaney's actions. I say there has been an overreaction, not because of his 700 victories. It has nothing to do with Mr. Chaney's Hall of Fame career. Nothing to do with his tireless efforts to encourage black coaches. Nothing to do with his status as a respected mentor. Nothing to do with his anti-war comments or his critique of George Bush. Nothing to do with the fact that his crime was so heinous that whether Bryant became injured or not is irrelevant. I say that the sports world has completely overreacted to Mr. Chaney's actions because St. Joseph's senior John Bryant sucks. He is the worst Division 1 starter that I have ever had the misery of watching "play" basketball. John Bryant doesn't deserve to play. So to John Chaney and his goon of a player: Thank you.


John Bryant of St. Joseph's University sucks. He is a testament to how good Jameer Nelson and Delonte West were last year, because he sucks.