Thoughts On Andrew Bogut

Last night I watched my weekly Mountain West Conference game on ESPN. The game featured Utah vs. BYU. Normally I like listening to ESPN announcer Jimmy Dykes, but unfortunately this season Mr. Dykes only talks about how great Andrew Bogut is. He'll talk about him even if Utah's not even playing! I mean how does Andrew Bogut figure into the equation of a Colorado State-Wyoming game? And furthermore, why the fuck am I watching a Colorado State-Wyoming game at 2am anyway?!

Bogut scores 20 points against BYU and suddenly he's this generation's Lebron James! Don't get me wrong, Bogut is a nice player. He's seven foot tall, as Mr. Dykes reminds us constantly, plus he's a true seven footer, not 6'9" or some bullshit like that! He's mobile, good around the basket, and can block a shot. But he's not Wilt Chamberlain, Shaq, Kareem, or even Sam Bowie. (Ok he's better than Sam Bowie). Yet, Mr. Dykes continues to try to hype him at the number one pick. Now Bogut is from Australia, so he fits the new NBA rule stating that "a player must either be from another country or enter the draft straight from high school, or both, to legally be chosen number one in the NBA Draft." (rule 47-H.56). But, he plays in the fucking Mountain West. Now I don't like talking shit about mid-majors, but this Andrew Bogut-hype shit is enough. I couldn't contain myself after one particular play. Bogut had the ball down low, then went up to shoot and got his ass swatted by a shorter BYU player. Bogut retained the ball and went to shoot again, and was rejected by the same BYU player again, only the ref called an imaginary foul on the Mormon dude. (I'm guessing the guy was Mormon). Jimmy Dykes proceeds to rave about how great Andrew Bogut was on that play.

"Did you see what he did there?" Dykes screams, "I know he got blocked, but you NBA scouts should pay attention to this. He jumped, and then he jumped again. He double jumped. Not many seven footers, true seven footers, can double jump like that."

I was like what the fuck! Double jump? He just got his ass blocked twice! Anyway, that was my Andrew Bogut story. It was 2am and I actually thought about waking ma up to tell her that story. Haha, wow.


Goddamn, I always wanted a mute midget, and now I realize how much I truly need one. You know, someone to listen to my rants and my stories, and help me with the tolls on the Jersey Turnpike and the Garden State. Also, the attributed quotes to ESPN college basketball analyst Jimmy Dykes may have been paraphrased, or completely made up.

Andrew Bogut, Utah center, and next year's #1 pick in the NBA draft, if Jimmy Dykes has anything to do with it.