Last night saw a matchup of the two shortest players in the NBA. Earl Boykins of the Washington Wizards met Nate Robinson of the New York Knicks. Although it didn't last long, it was a pleasure to watch.
Robinson only played 25 minutes; Boykins just 16. The Knicks defense was atrocious, so, for some of the time they were out on the floor, the Knicks went with a zone. The Knicks also shifted on picks liberally. But the two did guard each other and it was fun to watch them chase each other. Robinson clearly isn't used to playing against someone shorter than himself. Boykins, in his 11th season, scored 9 points, including a powerful drive right to the basket.
Robinson, however, had the better of the dual. Nate the Great scored 16 points and added 3 assists, 2 rebounds, and 2 steals. Robinson, in his 5th season, was able to drive around the older Boykins on a couple of occasions. One of Robinson's steals was a defensive back-like interception of a Boykins cross-court pass. At one point, in the backcourt, Robinson jumped up to catch a pass. Boykins was waiting just below him. Virtually every other player in the league would have had the ball stolen by Boykins. But Robinson has tried that defensive approach himself and avoided Boykins.
They meet again on Wednesday in New York. Keep your eye out for that matchup.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Dear Mother Nature
Dear Mother Nature,
We get it. Climate change is our fault. We accept responsibility. We're sorry. We'll try to do better in the future. Just please, no more snow.
Signed,
The DC Area
We get it. Climate change is our fault. We accept responsibility. We're sorry. We'll try to do better in the future. Just please, no more snow.
Signed,
The DC Area
Thursday, January 28, 2010
The Pee Epidemic
I'm conferred with literally several men and they all have had the problem.
The Problem: You think you're finished peeing. You shake it out just to make sure. You close up shop. Sure enough, a few sprinkles leak out.
Waiting Doesn't Work: No matter how long you wait, those sprinkles will come. I once waited an hour. Every five minutes I shook just to make sure. After the hour was up and I put it away, the sprinkles appeared.
The Solution: There is no cure for Sprinkles Syndrome. But there is a way to overcome this problem. After I'm done peeing, I feign like I'm putting it back to bed and then quickly whip it out again. I've found a good deal of success with this method as the penis is tricked into thinking it's going back inside. Once the momentum for the sprinkles start, it's too late to stop even after the penis realizes it's been deceived.
The Problem: You think you're finished peeing. You shake it out just to make sure. You close up shop. Sure enough, a few sprinkles leak out.
Waiting Doesn't Work: No matter how long you wait, those sprinkles will come. I once waited an hour. Every five minutes I shook just to make sure. After the hour was up and I put it away, the sprinkles appeared.
The Solution: There is no cure for Sprinkles Syndrome. But there is a way to overcome this problem. After I'm done peeing, I feign like I'm putting it back to bed and then quickly whip it out again. I've found a good deal of success with this method as the penis is tricked into thinking it's going back inside. Once the momentum for the sprinkles start, it's too late to stop even after the penis realizes it's been deceived.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Review of the State of the Union Speech
Tonight, the President of the United States came out as a socialist. He stated that he was not an American and added that his sole objective is to destroy America and all it stands for.
Wait.
Never mind.
The tone was too light in my estimation. People are struggling and angry. That wasn't the route to go. The President proposed a slew of moderate legislation, including a spending freeze and a capital gains tax cut for small businesses. He also proposed a liberal jobs bill and pressed for the watered down health care reform bill. He maintained his promise to end the war in Iraq and see the war in Afghanistan through. He also called for the end of the exclusion of openly gay people in the military.
The President told the nation that the United States must be number one. He wanted to keep jobs from going overseas. Yet, later in the speech, he advocated providing help for people of other nations. These two points on engaging the world seemed, if not contradictory, at least confused.
You got the feeling that the President could have said, "Guns for all! Abortions for none!" and the Republicans still would've sat there twiddling their thumbs. Just once I'd like to hear a president say, "The state of our nation is... well, I don't want to talk about it."
Wait.
Never mind.
The tone was too light in my estimation. People are struggling and angry. That wasn't the route to go. The President proposed a slew of moderate legislation, including a spending freeze and a capital gains tax cut for small businesses. He also proposed a liberal jobs bill and pressed for the watered down health care reform bill. He maintained his promise to end the war in Iraq and see the war in Afghanistan through. He also called for the end of the exclusion of openly gay people in the military.
The President told the nation that the United States must be number one. He wanted to keep jobs from going overseas. Yet, later in the speech, he advocated providing help for people of other nations. These two points on engaging the world seemed, if not contradictory, at least confused.
You got the feeling that the President could have said, "Guns for all! Abortions for none!" and the Republicans still would've sat there twiddling their thumbs. Just once I'd like to hear a president say, "The state of our nation is... well, I don't want to talk about it."
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Doing Research
Last evening, a person from Wasilla, Alaska found the Evil Leaders League site by googling "evil leaders." It was probably someone doing foreign policy research in preparation for a run during the 2012 presidential election.
I just hope she got that it's a joke.
I just hope she got that it's a joke.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Bush Ain't So Bad
We liberals take it for granted that George W. Bush was the worst president in the history of the United States. But I was thinking recently, what did he really do that was worse than the actions of any other president? He really didn't set any precedents.
Was he the first to start an unprovoked preemptive war? Not by a long shot. He was at least the fifth to do so, if we're only counting major wars. What about falsifying information to provoke the nation to war? Nope, try Polk and the Mexican-American War or Johnson and the Gulf of Tonkin incident leading to Vietnam's escalation.
What about throwing American citizens in Guantanamo without so much as charging them with any crime? Well, Lincoln suspended habeas corpus, which is the same thing. Bush's civil rights record isn't great, but at least he didn't reign during an era of legal slavery, nor did he own slaves himself. Bush wasn't a champion of women's rights, but at least women weren't legal property and did possess the right to vote during his term.
In terms of torture, my knowledge of history fails me to recall another example of an administration which tried to come up with a legal argument to justify torture. But that doesn't mean Bush was the first president to oversee state-induced torture. In fact, the only area where Bush is diabolically unique is his use of presidential signing statements, which can alter bills passed by Congress without any check.
That takes me to the wonderful and glorious Obama administration and Angola. In August, Hillary Clinton visited the African country, which is run by a dictator, Jose Eduardo dos Santos. Clinton threw out the usual calls for democracy. But last week, a law was passed that stripped Angolans of the right to vote for their president. Instead, the president will be elected by the parliament. This was because do Santos feared he might receive less of the vote than his party did in the 2008 parliamentary elections (which weren't deemed free or fair by independent observers), thus checking the Angolan president's immense powers.
The reason why Clinton was in Angolan last summer has to do with that nation's vast oil reserves. The U.S. is also hoping to combat China's influence in the resource rich African nation. So the question becomes, will the Obama administration pursue a policy of kowtowing to dictators for the sake of oil and in order to engage in a self-defeating game of offsetting China's influence? Or will the Obama administration buck the trend of presidents past?
(more on Angola at the HQT-IE)
Was he the first to start an unprovoked preemptive war? Not by a long shot. He was at least the fifth to do so, if we're only counting major wars. What about falsifying information to provoke the nation to war? Nope, try Polk and the Mexican-American War or Johnson and the Gulf of Tonkin incident leading to Vietnam's escalation.
What about throwing American citizens in Guantanamo without so much as charging them with any crime? Well, Lincoln suspended habeas corpus, which is the same thing. Bush's civil rights record isn't great, but at least he didn't reign during an era of legal slavery, nor did he own slaves himself. Bush wasn't a champion of women's rights, but at least women weren't legal property and did possess the right to vote during his term.
In terms of torture, my knowledge of history fails me to recall another example of an administration which tried to come up with a legal argument to justify torture. But that doesn't mean Bush was the first president to oversee state-induced torture. In fact, the only area where Bush is diabolically unique is his use of presidential signing statements, which can alter bills passed by Congress without any check.
That takes me to the wonderful and glorious Obama administration and Angola. In August, Hillary Clinton visited the African country, which is run by a dictator, Jose Eduardo dos Santos. Clinton threw out the usual calls for democracy. But last week, a law was passed that stripped Angolans of the right to vote for their president. Instead, the president will be elected by the parliament. This was because do Santos feared he might receive less of the vote than his party did in the 2008 parliamentary elections (which weren't deemed free or fair by independent observers), thus checking the Angolan president's immense powers.
The reason why Clinton was in Angolan last summer has to do with that nation's vast oil reserves. The U.S. is also hoping to combat China's influence in the resource rich African nation. So the question becomes, will the Obama administration pursue a policy of kowtowing to dictators for the sake of oil and in order to engage in a self-defeating game of offsetting China's influence? Or will the Obama administration buck the trend of presidents past?
(more on Angola at the HQT-IE)
Sunday, January 24, 2010
The Super Bowl's Set
I'm a sucker for irrelevant Super Bowl history. The Colts are making their 4th appearance in the Super Bowl. They are 2-1 and 1-0 since moving to Indianapolis. Peyton Manning will play in his second Super Bowl, leading the Colts over the Bears in Super Bowl XLI and earning the game's MVP award. This is (obviously) rookie coach Jim Caldwell's first Super Bowl as head coach. He's the fifth rookie coach to make the game.
This is the Saints first ever Super Bowl appearance. Sean Payton is making his first appearance in the Super Bowl as head coach as well. Drew Brees will also make his first appearance.
The Saints are the 7th franchise to make their first Super Bowl appearance in the last 11 years. The Cardinals did so last year, the Seahawks in Super Bowl XL, the Panthers in Super Bowl XXXVIII, the Bucs the year before, the Ravens in Super Bowl XXXV, the Titans the year before and the Falcons the year before that. The Lions are now the only NFC franchise to never have made a Super Bowl. The Browns, Jaguars, Texans haven't made one from the AFC. The Saints are one of 15 franchises never to have won a Super Bowl.
This is the Saints first ever Super Bowl appearance. Sean Payton is making his first appearance in the Super Bowl as head coach as well. Drew Brees will also make his first appearance.
The Saints are the 7th franchise to make their first Super Bowl appearance in the last 11 years. The Cardinals did so last year, the Seahawks in Super Bowl XL, the Panthers in Super Bowl XXXVIII, the Bucs the year before, the Ravens in Super Bowl XXXV, the Titans the year before and the Falcons the year before that. The Lions are now the only NFC franchise to never have made a Super Bowl. The Browns, Jaguars, Texans haven't made one from the AFC. The Saints are one of 15 franchises never to have won a Super Bowl.
Friday, January 22, 2010
Socialismed
Being socialismed is when you're having a highly intellectual discussion on a specific issue and, out of leftfield, some one accuses you of being a socialist.
This happened to me recently. Someone did not feel that Botswana is prosperous because of sound economic management as Obama has claimed. Instead, Botswana is successful because its government has stayed out of the market- also adding that Obama could learn from the example. I presented the inconvenient fact that the Botswana government actually owns 50% of Debswana, the main diamond mining company. Diamonds of course are the backbone of the nation's economy.
This person acknowledged my point, but argued that Botswana has low tax rates, which is attracting business and creating more jobs, asking me to compare that record to Zimbabwe's. I felt that numerous other factors have individually played a larger part than tax rates in the differing conditions of both nations. Those included the fact that colonialism played a more direct function in Zimbabwe, Rhodesia's unilateral declaration of independence, the long and devastating war of liberation, the 5th brigade's genocidal campaign into Matabeleland, Britain's inaction towards settling the land rights issue with whites, and the dictatorial disposition of Mugabe. Botswana was fortunate to avoid all of those hurdles. Those factors, and not the difference in tax rates, played a defining role in determining the future for both countries.
I was excited to take part in such a back-and-forth intellectual discussion about Botswana. Then, I was socialismed. Disappointment. Despair. Diarrhea (compliments of corn beef hash in a can).
Let it be said that I believe the more fortunate of us have the responsibility to assist the less fortunate of us. I favor a public option to compete with private insurance companies when it comes to health care. I don't believe the U.S. government should start nationalizing industries. Does that make me a socialist? Maybe. Maybe not. It doesn't really matter. The point is it had nothing to do with the above conversation. Conservatives, please, if you feel the urge to socialismed someone, just walk away.
(or put another way - HQT-IE)
This happened to me recently. Someone did not feel that Botswana is prosperous because of sound economic management as Obama has claimed. Instead, Botswana is successful because its government has stayed out of the market- also adding that Obama could learn from the example. I presented the inconvenient fact that the Botswana government actually owns 50% of Debswana, the main diamond mining company. Diamonds of course are the backbone of the nation's economy.
This person acknowledged my point, but argued that Botswana has low tax rates, which is attracting business and creating more jobs, asking me to compare that record to Zimbabwe's. I felt that numerous other factors have individually played a larger part than tax rates in the differing conditions of both nations. Those included the fact that colonialism played a more direct function in Zimbabwe, Rhodesia's unilateral declaration of independence, the long and devastating war of liberation, the 5th brigade's genocidal campaign into Matabeleland, Britain's inaction towards settling the land rights issue with whites, and the dictatorial disposition of Mugabe. Botswana was fortunate to avoid all of those hurdles. Those factors, and not the difference in tax rates, played a defining role in determining the future for both countries.
I was excited to take part in such a back-and-forth intellectual discussion about Botswana. Then, I was socialismed. Disappointment. Despair. Diarrhea (compliments of corn beef hash in a can).
Let it be said that I believe the more fortunate of us have the responsibility to assist the less fortunate of us. I favor a public option to compete with private insurance companies when it comes to health care. I don't believe the U.S. government should start nationalizing industries. Does that make me a socialist? Maybe. Maybe not. It doesn't really matter. The point is it had nothing to do with the above conversation. Conservatives, please, if you feel the urge to socialismed someone, just walk away.
(or put another way - HQT-IE)
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Fuzzy Math
I'm no math wiz, but I had no idea that 41 was greater than 59. Apparently, the Republicans are not only in control of the senate, but are also the most popular party in the nation. This despite the Democrats holding wide margins in the senate and house and owning the White House.
The Republicans' majority of negative 18 in the senate isn't going to halt the Democrats agenda, their lack of savvy will. It makes me sad to say it, but most Americans are a little dim. They respond when you say, "He's a socialist" when discuss the merits of Obama's economic plan. If you try to elucidate the complex factors involved in Afghan war, including the role of CIA funding of the Mujahedeen, you are part of the "Blame American first" crowd. If you try to discuss safety concerns in Iraq before the U.S. invasion and after, a high ranking Bush official will yell at you about rape rooms. Americans go for that.
It's not fair that the rebuttal to the case for a public option as part of the health care system or concerns over climate change is a cry of "socialism." But that's the reality. We’ve become a nation who can’t think critically. As a result, the party not in power, without any real ideas, can sell their message better than the one everyone voted for a year ago. The Democrats need to figure out a way to use their majorities before they evaporate later in the year... for real this time.
The Republicans' majority of negative 18 in the senate isn't going to halt the Democrats agenda, their lack of savvy will. It makes me sad to say it, but most Americans are a little dim. They respond when you say, "He's a socialist" when discuss the merits of Obama's economic plan. If you try to elucidate the complex factors involved in Afghan war, including the role of CIA funding of the Mujahedeen, you are part of the "Blame American first" crowd. If you try to discuss safety concerns in Iraq before the U.S. invasion and after, a high ranking Bush official will yell at you about rape rooms. Americans go for that.
It's not fair that the rebuttal to the case for a public option as part of the health care system or concerns over climate change is a cry of "socialism." But that's the reality. We’ve become a nation who can’t think critically. As a result, the party not in power, without any real ideas, can sell their message better than the one everyone voted for a year ago. The Democrats need to figure out a way to use their majorities before they evaporate later in the year... for real this time.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
The Conference of Jewish Vegetarians and Dog Lovers Sponsored by the Hiking Club of America
Come to The Conference of Jewish Vegetarians and Dog Lovers sponsored by the Hiking Club of America!!
January 29, 2010 in the Washington, DC area (subject to rescheduling)
editor's note: This is a real thing!
another editor's note: Seriously, it's not just some elaborate ruse.
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