Nats at the Break

The Nats bats have continued to be lively. At 39-50, the Nats probably won't finish the year as the worst team in the majors again. But contention is a ways away. The problem is defense and pitching.

Stephen Strasburg has brought a great deal of attention to the Nats this season. He's made the Nats relevant. Livan Hernandez has also pitched well; his E.R.A. is below 4. But the rest of the starters have been inconsistent at best. The bullpen hasn’t been as atrocious as in the past, but reliability remains elusive. Matt Caps's 23 saves and Drew Storen's admirable rookie performance are the only other bright spots for the Nats on the mound.

Adam Dunn has been on a HR tear of late. He has 22 and is hitting an impressively surprising .288 average with 59 RBIs. Ryan Zimmerman is at .294, 16 HRs, and 48 RBIs. Josh Willingham is hitting .281 with 15 HRs and 46 RBIs. The Nats have a legitimate middle of the order. But no Nat regular is hitting .300 or better. So even the best side, the Nats are rather weak. The bench is virtually an automatic out.

Defensively, the Nats are the worst in the league. Ivan Rodriguez has been a pillar behind the plate. But, as bad as Ian Desmond and Adam Kennedy have been with the glove, Cristian Guzman is worse. Desmond's astronomical error total is somewhat forgivable because he makes the outstanding play. Nyjer Morgan hasn't shown the leadership he exhibited last season. His defense has been poor in comparison to 2009. Zimmerman is still great at 3rd, but Dunn is a novice at first. Willingham is in left for his bat. Roger Bernadina has been solid in right and at the plate, but more is needed considering his teammates.

Until the Nats improve defensively and on the mound, the playoffs will only come in a dream. The Nats bats do not make up for the awful defense. Having a bunch of guys who hit .220 but can actually catch and accurately throw a baseball would serve the Nats better at this point.

World Cup Spill

The World Cup final between the Netherlands and Spain showed the bad side of soccer. At times it can be a great sport. I even want to follow it. But then there are games like this one that make me glad I'm American and don't care.

Soccer players are perceived as theatrical and flamboyant. Sure, NBA players flop, but they don't roll around on the ground after being touched (except for Paul Pierce). The final was deemed "physical." It's a ridiculous characterization. Players hit the ground and rolled like the stadium was on fire. There was very little physicality and a lot of acting.

There were very few chances. One of the rare opportunities to score occurred when the Netherlands simply tried to give the ball back to Spain in a sporting manner. The Spanish goalie had to make the save. And who is David Villa kidding. There are tens of millions of Davids in the world, why does he get to change the pronunciation?

Rarely do I even get bored in life, but conservative offense and tons of diving do not an interesting soccer match make.

LeBron Criticism Unfair

My heart wanted him to go to New York. My head wanted him to stay in Cleveland. Perhaps only my taint wanted him to go to that sweaty cesspool known as Miami.

LeBron James's move to Miami tells us a lot about him. But it doesn't tell us that he's a heartless monster. It doesn't tell us that he's a sellout. It doesn't tell us that he's selfish.

With LeBron James leaving Cleveland, it has been said that the immediate area surrounding the arena will lose millions of dollars per year. Jobs will be lost. Somehow, LeBron is being blamed for that. The finger should be pointed directly at the lousy Cleveland fans, who only back a winner. Look at the Indians; they're doing terrible at the gate because they're doing terrible in the win column. No one knew better than Art Modell how fickle the Cleveland fan is. LeBron was even booed in the conference semis. Don't cry for Cleveland.

His move to Miami tells us that LeBron doesn't want to be the backbone of a city. He doesn't want the pressure of having to stack up against Kobe. He wants to win. You can call him chicken or humble, depending on your opinion of him. LeBron wants to play with good players. He doesn't want to shoulder it all alone. He isn't in it only for the money. He isn't in it only for his ego either.

The above attributes can be construed as negative or positive- though there's probably a lot of gray- but the defamation he has endured since his announcement has been unfair. I'm not sure the trio of LeBron, Wade, and Bosh will work, but it's a far more interesting topic that merely villainizing LeBron James.

Coming Out of Her Shell

The cutest little 7 year old girl, who is extremely shy, had an essay to write. The question involved what she would do if she were temporarily invisible. Her entire essay reads:

"I will be invisible for a day. I will rob a bank. Then I will steel icecream and give it to a hobo."

She's like a politically incorrect Robin Hood.

Later, I announce to the class that there will be no writing left-handed in my room.

The same little girl decides this is the perfect moment to stand up in front of everyone and declare that she wipes her ass with her left hand.

Everyone in the room is laughing. The little girl is not embarrassed. She's trying to convince us that it's not a joke, she really does wipe her ass with her left.

My Hope for Spain-Germany

The Spanish Inquisition vs. the Holocaust. It's not a Jew-friendly semifinal of the World Cup. No disrespect to the players or their families. I'm sure they're all lovely people. But I wouldn't mind a repeat of Munich 1972. Another occurrence of the 1970 Marshall football team wouldn't be so bad either. Of course, it would have to involve a horrific bus crash as the teams will probably not fly from the hotel to the stadium.

I know people are not responsibly for the atrocious actions of their ancestors. A terrible tragedy to either of these teams won't bring back the millions of Jews these two countries are responsible for killing. But still.

The Real Kobayashi Story

It is being reported that Kobayashi did not engage in yesterday's competitive hot dog eating contest at Coney Island because of a contract dispute. He attended the competition and, in the heat of the moment, rushed the stage in a bid to comp-eat. But his advances were rebuffed by the authorities. Kobayashi spent the night in jail.

The line about the contract dispute is a lie. There is a far darker reason for Kobayashi's failure to enter the eating meet. Kobayashi was injured. Because of the injury, he was unable to perform on competitive eating's biggest stage.

The day before the contest, he took a pretty girl to an Indian buffet. At the buffet, he stuffed himself silly. The worst, most embarrassing injury a competitive eater can face is being full. 18 pounds of chicken korma in 12 minutes will do the trick. The pretty girl left nauseous after Kobayashi had consumed a mere 6 pounds.

In an attempt to save face, Kobayashi made up the story about a contract disagreement. He attempted to illegally enter the contest knowing full well he wouldn't be allowed in. If he had been allowed to eat, he would have been humiliated. But there was never a chance that would happen. Instead, Kobayashi looks like a martyr, fighting against the oppression of the organized eating autocracy. In reality, he is just a very full man.

Least Favorite Holidays

I can't think of an American holiday that I actually like. There are a lot of bad ones. Admist the tough competition, here is the current list of my most hated national holidays in order.

1. Christmas
2. Valentine's Day
3. Father's Day
4. New Year's Day
5. The 4th of July
6. Veterans Day
7. Thanksgiving
8. Memorial Day

The Superfluous Pound-for-Pound Best

Here is an updated version of my unnecessary list of the top 10 pound-for-pound boxers. The first list was posted on March 22.

1) Floyd Mayweather (41-0, 25 KOs), [Previous Rank: 2]
2) Manny Pacquiao (51-3-2, 38 KOs), [Previous Rank: 1]
3) Wladimir Klitschko (54-3, 48 KOs), [Previous Rank: 4]
4) Paul Williams (39-1, 27 KOs), [Previous Rank: 5]
5) Chad Dawson (29-0, 17 KOs), [Previous Rank: 6]
6) Vitali Klitschko (40-2, 38 KOs), [Previous Rank: 8]
7) Sergio Martinez (45-2-2, 24 KOs), [Previous Rank: NR]
8) Shane Mosley (46-6, 39 KOs), [Previous Rank: 3]
9) Juan Manuel Marquez (50-5-1, 37 KOs), [Previous Rank: 10]
10) Pongsaklek Wonjongkam (74-3-1, 40 KOs), [Previous Rank: NR]

Exiting the list:
Arthur Abraham (31-1, 25 KOs), [Previous Rank: 7]
Bernard Hopkins (51-5-1, 32 KOs), [Previous Rank: 9]

Michael Steele is Right

Michael Steele said the war in Afghanistan was a war of Obama's choosing and that it was unwinnable. Steele has been resoundingly criticized for his comments.

It's really unfair. We liberals called foul when our opposition to the war in Iraq was called unpatriotic. Steele has added a courageous voice to the discourse on the Afghan war. He should not be shunned. He should be debated.

Obviously, it's short-sided to claim that Obama chose the war in Afghanistan. Some may argue that the Taliban chose the war by harboring al Qaeda even after the attacks of 9/11/01 (although Mullah Omar was still mulling over whether or not to turn in bin Laden when the U.S. invaded). Bush played a significant role in choosing the war. Obama inherited it. But, Obama has chosen to deploy more troops to Afghanistan. Certainly, he has earned some ownership. The Washington Post runs a series called "Obama's War." Obama can't be given a pass for the war's persistence.

I agree with Steele that the war is unwinnable. There is no overarching goal. The plan is to fight the Taliban and hope things work out. American policy continues to dream that Karzai will be able to set up a strong central government, despite the evidence showing its impossibility. The war in Afghanistan is a quagmire without a clear purpose. It sustains because of a vague desire for an elusive retribution. I'm just surprised Michael Steele of all people initiated this much needed perspective.

Kagan's "Wise Latina" Moment

Elena Kagan's "Wise Latina" moment has been uncovered. It is being reported that Kagan once said that "Jewish women are naturally better judges than white men... We have an innate ability to critique and criticize."

The Republicans have been quick to condemn her as anti-gentile. Republican Senator from South Carolina Lindsey Graham questioned, "If she hates white men so much, how can she possibly judge fairly in cases involving them?" Fox News talking head, Sean Hannity thought that was a good point, saying, "Good point."

This quote, made at her niece's bat mitzvah 23 years ago, will probably end Kagan's chances at becoming a Supreme Court Justice and continuing as a contributing member of society. If only she had put a pube on some lady's Coke can, she would've been fine.