Basketball is a team sport. When played properly, five players are in tune with each other, reacting to one another's movements as if they were a single unit. Occasionally, there is a player who can grab total control like a dictator (say, Zimbabwe's Robert Mugabe) and dominate.
Kobe Bryant is the most clutch player we have in the league today. He's just about the best shooter there is and is one of the best defenders. That isn't to leave out his best attribute, his ability to create his own shot. This year, he's spent more energy trusting his teammates which has risen his game to its highest point of his career. In Game 3, Bryant wowed the home crowd, scoring 36 points. When the Celtics made it a game in the fourth, Kobe took over. Ray Allen looked like it was his first day on the job trying to stop Bryant.
Vujajic had the game of his life with 20 points. The Lakers needed it because both Odom and Gasol were largely ineffective. Odom got into foul trouble early again. Gasol is a great second banana, but the weaknesses in his game surfaced in Game 3. He can be soft around the basket and isn't always sure what to do with the ball.
The Lakers defense was better this time around. Pierce shot 2-14 and Garnett was almost as bad, 6-21. Eddie House saw his first action of the series and went 2-8. Only Ray Allen did anything, pouring in 25. But Kobe was the story and the Lakers came away with an 87-81 win to cut Boston's lead to 2-1.
The series has been plagued by inconsistent officiating. In Game 2, Boston flung 38 balls at the rim from the free throw line, to Los Angeles' 10. In Game 3, LA shot 34 from the stripe, while Boston took 22 attempts, but in the first half the disparity was greater, 20-4 in favor of the Lakers. It's possible that there's nothing to these numbers, but the reality is something different. The overall officiating isn't one-sided, just erratic. Has it affected the results? Maybe.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Obama Behind Warren G
Recently John McLaughlin mentioned that, if elected, Barack Obama would not be the first black President of the United States, because Warren G. Harding was "a negro." This wasn't the first time I've heard that possibility. A few years ago, I came across a (self-described) black supremacist website. Essentially, their argument for Warren G. Harding's blackness was that he had a big nose and people hated him. It wasn't a convincing case. That could easily describe a Jew.
The accusation (and that's just what it is) actually bothered me. Not because they're saying that Warren G. Harding was black, but because they're saying Warren G. Harding was black. He was a terrible president. The worst so far, depending on how historians judge Bush. Oh sure, give black people the worst president, they got the worst parts of the pig during slavery, they're used to it. What's next, is someone going to discover that Vanilla Ice has black ancestors too?
Harding was a vicious racist. That doesn't mean he didn't have black ancestors somewhere down the line, but he certainly didn't identify as black. These racial, religious, and ethnic divisions have less to do with heritage and more to do with society's perception of you combined with how you present yourself. I've been mistaken for being a Muslim, a Christian, a Colombian, a Kashmiri, a Mexican, and a pedophile.
My great great grandfather, Robert Mugabe (probably no relation to the authoritarian dictator of Zimbabwe), worked in a morgue. He used to give rim jobs to the recently deceased women there. That doesn't mean that I'm an ass-eating necrophiliac. I mean, I am. But that's not the point. The point is that Robert Mugabe licks the anuses of dead women. More importantly, if elected, Barack Obama will be the first black President of the United States of America. And John McLaughlin will still call him "a negro."
The accusation (and that's just what it is) actually bothered me. Not because they're saying that Warren G. Harding was black, but because they're saying Warren G. Harding was black. He was a terrible president. The worst so far, depending on how historians judge Bush. Oh sure, give black people the worst president, they got the worst parts of the pig during slavery, they're used to it. What's next, is someone going to discover that Vanilla Ice has black ancestors too?
Harding was a vicious racist. That doesn't mean he didn't have black ancestors somewhere down the line, but he certainly didn't identify as black. These racial, religious, and ethnic divisions have less to do with heritage and more to do with society's perception of you combined with how you present yourself. I've been mistaken for being a Muslim, a Christian, a Colombian, a Kashmiri, a Mexican, and a pedophile.
My great great grandfather, Robert Mugabe (probably no relation to the authoritarian dictator of Zimbabwe), worked in a morgue. He used to give rim jobs to the recently deceased women there. That doesn't mean that I'm an ass-eating necrophiliac. I mean, I am. But that's not the point. The point is that Robert Mugabe licks the anuses of dead women. More importantly, if elected, Barack Obama will be the first black President of the United States of America. And John McLaughlin will still call him "a negro."
Monday, June 09, 2008
Game 2 - The Futile Comeback
The Celtics took control of the game in the beginning of the second quarter and looked destined to glide to an easy victory. Paul Pierce had 28 points and 8 assists, showing no signs of the Game 1 injury that initially appeared to end his season. Garnett had 17 points and 14 rebounds, while Ray Allen also scored 17.
The Celtics were aided by a cast of unsung heroes. Leon Powe, getting back in Doc Rivers' rotation, scored 21 points and got to the foul line 13 times in just 14 minutes. Rondo threw 16 passes that led to baskets. Veterans James Posey and P.J. Brown were productive as well.
The Lakers bench has been overrated and they didn't dispel that accusation in Game 2. The Lakers defense was sieve-like. They were down 24 points late. But Kobe Bryant never conceded defeat. He ended the game with 30 points and 8 assists. The Boston lead kept trickling away, little by little. Sasha Vujacic hit a big three to cut the lead to 6. Vladimir Radmanivic, usually a very poor defender, stole the ball and lumbered down the court to put the deficit at 4.
On the key possession at the end of the game, Bryant never touched the ball. Instead Vujacic threw up a panic-stricken three-pointer that never had a chance. Like a MDC charge towards the Zimbabwean presidency, you always had the feeling that the Lakers would come up short, no matter how noble their run, it just wasn't destined to be. The Celtics won 108-102, but the Lakers gained something from their comeback attempt. As the Finals head to Los Angeles, this series is far from over.
The Celtics were aided by a cast of unsung heroes. Leon Powe, getting back in Doc Rivers' rotation, scored 21 points and got to the foul line 13 times in just 14 minutes. Rondo threw 16 passes that led to baskets. Veterans James Posey and P.J. Brown were productive as well.
The Lakers bench has been overrated and they didn't dispel that accusation in Game 2. The Lakers defense was sieve-like. They were down 24 points late. But Kobe Bryant never conceded defeat. He ended the game with 30 points and 8 assists. The Boston lead kept trickling away, little by little. Sasha Vujacic hit a big three to cut the lead to 6. Vladimir Radmanivic, usually a very poor defender, stole the ball and lumbered down the court to put the deficit at 4.
On the key possession at the end of the game, Bryant never touched the ball. Instead Vujacic threw up a panic-stricken three-pointer that never had a chance. Like a MDC charge towards the Zimbabwean presidency, you always had the feeling that the Lakers would come up short, no matter how noble their run, it just wasn't destined to be. The Celtics won 108-102, but the Lakers gained something from their comeback attempt. As the Finals head to Los Angeles, this series is far from over.
Sunday, June 08, 2008
Milton Berle Speaks To Me
Not to be outdone by Maimonides, Milton Berle appeared to me in a vision last night. Milton Berle's words to me were a little different than Maimonides'. This is what Uncle Milty said:
Hey there buddy. What I want to tell you is... HOLY JESUS! Is that your penis? Where's the rest of it?
They can use that thing to measure inchworms.
What does your penis want to be when it grows up?
It could star next to Mike Myers’ shlong in an Austin Powers movie.
I must admit, you’re hung like a horse… a FEMALE HORSE!
Your penis is smaller than Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe’s credibility on the international stage.
Alright, I'm out. Time to lay pipe on some freshly dead broads. Later, champ.
Hey there buddy. What I want to tell you is... HOLY JESUS! Is that your penis? Where's the rest of it?
They can use that thing to measure inchworms.
What does your penis want to be when it grows up?
It could star next to Mike Myers’ shlong in an Austin Powers movie.
I must admit, you’re hung like a horse… a FEMALE HORSE!
Your penis is smaller than Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe’s credibility on the international stage.
Alright, I'm out. Time to lay pipe on some freshly dead broads. Later, champ.
Friday, June 06, 2008
Game One - A New Era
The fortunes of the Boston Celtics improved dramatically when they acquired Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen over the off season. Paul Pierce started the season healthy, a change from the end of the last campaign. Head Coach Doc Rivers led Boston to 66 regular season wins. With the arrival of the playoffs came a struggling and unsure Celtics bunch, despite key veteran additions to the bench throughout the season. They began the postseason with 6 straight losses on the road to counteract their 9 straight home wins. The Celtics began to regain their form in the Eastern Conference Finals against the Detroit Pistons.
The Los Angeles Lakers started the season in disarray. Kobe Bryant wanted out and even with him, they weren't expected to do much. But Bryant stayed and took his game to another level, winning the MVP award. The Lakers were also given a mid-season boost, trading for Pau Gasol. The trade was the biggest steal since the Zimbabwean government's land acquisitions earlier in the decade. Like the Celtics, the Lakers were the number one seed, but Los Angeles had an easier time in the playoffs. In the Western Conference Finals, the Lakers easily beat the defending champion, San Antonio Spurs.
Rust and nerves plagued both teams in Game One. The game was close for three quarters. In the third, Paul Pierce fell to the floor in agony. Unlike most NBA players, Pierce doesn't need a serious injury to roll around shivering in pain. He was carried off the court, but soon returned to an uproarious cheer from the home crowd in Boston. Pierce wasn't bothered by the knee, scoring 15 of his 22 in the third quarter.
The other two of Boston's big three contributed. Allen had a quiet 19 points and Garnett added a nice line with 24 and 13 rebounds, but missed 9 straight shots towards the end of the game. However, Garnett knocked the ball off of a Laker following a missed Boston free throw, a key play in the game. KG threw in a monster jam to seal the deal. Maligned point guard, Rajon Rondo, scored 15 and dished 7 assists.
Kobe Bryant scored 24, but shot 9-26 from the field. The Lakers as a whole were awful throwing the ball at the hoop in the fourth. Gasol and Derek Fisher put in 15 points and Lamar Odom had another 14, but it wasn't enough. No one took over for the Lakers when it counted. The Celtics won 98-88.
The Los Angeles Lakers started the season in disarray. Kobe Bryant wanted out and even with him, they weren't expected to do much. But Bryant stayed and took his game to another level, winning the MVP award. The Lakers were also given a mid-season boost, trading for Pau Gasol. The trade was the biggest steal since the Zimbabwean government's land acquisitions earlier in the decade. Like the Celtics, the Lakers were the number one seed, but Los Angeles had an easier time in the playoffs. In the Western Conference Finals, the Lakers easily beat the defending champion, San Antonio Spurs.
Rust and nerves plagued both teams in Game One. The game was close for three quarters. In the third, Paul Pierce fell to the floor in agony. Unlike most NBA players, Pierce doesn't need a serious injury to roll around shivering in pain. He was carried off the court, but soon returned to an uproarious cheer from the home crowd in Boston. Pierce wasn't bothered by the knee, scoring 15 of his 22 in the third quarter.
The other two of Boston's big three contributed. Allen had a quiet 19 points and Garnett added a nice line with 24 and 13 rebounds, but missed 9 straight shots towards the end of the game. However, Garnett knocked the ball off of a Laker following a missed Boston free throw, a key play in the game. KG threw in a monster jam to seal the deal. Maligned point guard, Rajon Rondo, scored 15 and dished 7 assists.
Kobe Bryant scored 24, but shot 9-26 from the field. The Lakers as a whole were awful throwing the ball at the hoop in the fourth. Gasol and Derek Fisher put in 15 points and Lamar Odom had another 14, but it wasn't enough. No one took over for the Lakers when it counted. The Celtics won 98-88.
Thursday, June 05, 2008
Maimonides Speaks To Me
Maimonides appeared to me in a vision last night. Thankfully, he spoke in English. This is what he said to me:
Keep going. You're on the right track. This world should not be about exclusion and division. It is about appreciating each other's differences. Judaism is fundamentally progressive and thus ever changing. Those that wish to keep Judaism frozen in time are misguided. They stringently adhere to the perception of G-d and the world by people over 5,000 years ago. While there is much wisdom in the Torah, to hold it as absolute truth denies one's ability to grow and to progress. While it is valid to maintain beliefs even if they are stuck in some nonexistent era, it is wrong to declare that only yours represent absolute truth. If you are right, then anyone who doesn't see it your way is wrong. That is a destructive philosophy, not only for the world at large, but also for the individual.
You have much to learn yet. You still need to grow. That is why you are still on Earth. But you are heading in the right direction. You understand the essential principle of this world, you know you don't know. May you stand strong and stay on the path of empathy, whether for your fellow Jews, for Muslims, for the people of Zimbabwe, et al. Keep your eyes and ears open.
And one last thing, don't wipe so ferociously. It causes small scrapes in your asshole and when you run, sweat collects and irritates the scrapes, which eventually result in the burning sensation that you're feeling.
Best Wishes.
Keep going. You're on the right track. This world should not be about exclusion and division. It is about appreciating each other's differences. Judaism is fundamentally progressive and thus ever changing. Those that wish to keep Judaism frozen in time are misguided. They stringently adhere to the perception of G-d and the world by people over 5,000 years ago. While there is much wisdom in the Torah, to hold it as absolute truth denies one's ability to grow and to progress. While it is valid to maintain beliefs even if they are stuck in some nonexistent era, it is wrong to declare that only yours represent absolute truth. If you are right, then anyone who doesn't see it your way is wrong. That is a destructive philosophy, not only for the world at large, but also for the individual.
You have much to learn yet. You still need to grow. That is why you are still on Earth. But you are heading in the right direction. You understand the essential principle of this world, you know you don't know. May you stand strong and stay on the path of empathy, whether for your fellow Jews, for Muslims, for the people of Zimbabwe, et al. Keep your eyes and ears open.
And one last thing, don't wipe so ferociously. It causes small scrapes in your asshole and when you run, sweat collects and irritates the scrapes, which eventually result in the burning sensation that you're feeling.
Best Wishes.
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
Reggie Miller 
Charlie Villanueva 
Chris Kaman
Gheorghe Muresan
Aaron Williams Tuesday, June 03, 2008
David's Ugly Basketball Team
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Popeye Jones
Monday, June 02, 2008
Mike's Ugly Basketball Team
Sam Cassell.jpg)
Mike Miller
Calvin Booth
Tyrone Hill
Bryant Reeves
.jpg)
John Havlicek
Does this team of ugly players make you gag? Vote here.
(Voting guaranteed to be fairer than a Zimbabwean election)
Other teams:
Sunday, June 01, 2008
The Ugly NBA Players Draft
1) Mike - Sam Cassell
2) Ian - Reggie Miller
3) David - Popeye Jones
4) David - Joakim Noah
5) Ian - Chris Kaman
6) Mike - Calvin Booth
7) Mike - Tyrone Hill
8) Ian - Charlie Villanueva
9) David - Sheldon Williams
10) David - Delonte West
11) Ian - Gheorghe Muresan
12) Mike - Bryant Reeves
13) Mike - Mike Miller
14) Ian - Tyronn Lue
15) David - Dennis Johnson
16) David - Josh Boone
17) Ian - Aaron Williams
18) Mike - John Havlicek
The teams:
David's
Ian's
Mike's
(Guaranteed to be fairer than a Zimbabwean election)
2) Ian - Reggie Miller
3) David - Popeye Jones
4) David - Joakim Noah
5) Ian - Chris Kaman
6) Mike - Calvin Booth
7) Mike - Tyrone Hill
8) Ian - Charlie Villanueva
9) David - Sheldon Williams
10) David - Delonte West
11) Ian - Gheorghe Muresan
12) Mike - Bryant Reeves
13) Mike - Mike Miller
14) Ian - Tyronn Lue
15) David - Dennis Johnson
16) David - Josh Boone
17) Ian - Aaron Williams
18) Mike - John Havlicek
The teams:
David's
Ian's
Mike's
(Guaranteed to be fairer than a Zimbabwean election)
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