Donald Trump's Terrible Debate Shows He's Unqualified

Don't be fooled, Trump didn't throw up words all over the stage last night as he did in the first debate, but when we actually got to hear his answers, we now know why he used that strategy the first time around.

Trump's answer to whether he has a plan for covid-19 was shamefully. He compared the deaths that have already taken place to imaginary projections. He showed no remorse for those who have died and no vision forward. At one point, he uttered the hilariously obtuse, "I take full responsibility. It's not my fault."

Trump's answer to the question of his child separation policy at the border was horrific. The parents of over 500 kids cannot be located after the government forcibly separated them from their children. He lied about coyotes and was shamed by Biden. But his answer that the kids are well-taken care up was an answer equally callous and incompetent. What if I took your children away from you, but at least they have nice cages.

I don't understand why the Trump administration thinks it's a good idea to bring up H1N1. I remember those swine flu days when I was stuck at hope after losing my job. Grocery shopping could amount to a death sentence while travel was out of the question. I couldn't visit my mom for months. Except, that didn't happen.

At least for me, H1N1 had so little impact on my life I didn't even realize it had happened during Obama's tenure as president. I would've guessed 2003 of something. To compare how the administrations' handling H1N1 and coronavirus, is obviously a losing battle for Trump.

Trump has a tactic of hurling accusations at opponents for which he has been accused. He actually blamed Biden for his son's interactions in- get this- Russia, Ukraine, and China! Trump's affinity for Russia's dictator Vladimir Putin is at best bizarre. His attempted shakedown of the Ukrainian president is the reason he was impeached. Trump makes money from the Chinese government in a gross conflict of interest.

One area Trump actually believes his own rhetoric is with North Korea. Do you remember the North Korean war of 2014? What was Obama thinking? Except that never happened. Trump's greatest foreign policy success in his own mind is averting war with North Korea. Of course, we haven't had a war with North Korea for 70 years. Trump has legitimized a brutal dictator and received nothing in return. It is a horrible failure.

Trump has not been the best president for black Americans. Besides a few token accomplishments that pale in comparison to those of other presidents, his racist rhetoric as made black Americans even more vulnerable. Hate groups love Trump because he legitimizes them and their message. His pandering to black voters isn't actually about gaining their votes. It's about making white voters feel less racist for voting for him.

In fairness, Trump might still be a top ten president for black people. Remember, 11 presidents owned slaves. Segregation was legal under 12 presidents. It says more about our society and the racist presidents we've elected than it does about Trump. Presidents have helped free the slaves, integrated the army, and pass the Civil Rights and Voting Rights Acts. Presidents have used federal power to ensure the integration of schools and to provide justice for black victims when southern localities wouldn't. Trump, a man who called some neo-Nazis "very fine people" claimed last night, "I am the least racist person in this room."

In a horrible debate performance, perhaps Trump's worst moment was on health care. It has been five years since he first ran for president. He has been president for almost four years. He has consistently tried to repeal the ACA. Through it all, he has no health care plan. As late as 2017, he didn't even understand what it is, confusing it with life insurance. 

Isn't it odd that a party that doesn't believe in evolution advocates for a health care system that boils down to survival of the fittest?

The Government is Banning Words

It became big news when it was reported that there were seven words you can't say at the CDC. They are shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, and tits.

Well it turns out the White House has banned seven words also. They are empathy, competency, democracy, dissent, debate, dossier and dentures.

In Defense of Roy Moore

Alabama Republicans have been nothing short of beleaguered in recent weeks, but I'm willing to offer them a defense in voting for Roy Moore.

When a liberal accuses you of supporting a pedophile, tell them that you don't support a pedophile, heck no! Technically, you support a child predator.

Special thanks to Chris Hansen and the To Catch a Predator series for explaining that inane difference many years ago.

Trump, Frederick Douglass, and the Fourth

Everyone knows Frederick Douglass has done an amazing job and is being recognized more and more. Even President Trump has noticed. But his wisdom is less known.

This Fourth of July, President Trump decided to partake in his favorite hobby, playing a little golf. He also spouted trite platitudes about the troops.

Back on this day in 1852, Douglass gave a rousing speech in Rochester, New York. In the speech, he declared: “What to the American slave is your Fourth of July? I answer a day that reveals to him, more than all other days of the year, the gross injustice and cruelty to which he is the constant victim."

Ivanka Trump's Trip to Saudi Arabia

I'm having a wonderful time in this beautiful country. I've been chauffeured around everywhere like I'm a queen! I've noticed women here have an ingenuous way of dealing with the hot desert sun. They dress themselves in all black from head to toe except for the eyes so they don't get sun burned. How smart is that!

I was taken to see three amazing female entrepreneurs. I had such a great time learning about how fantastic living in Saudi Arabia is for women. I wanted to talk to these three ladies forever! I love meeting strong independent women! Saudi officials assured me there were way more than three female entrepreneurs in the country but there just wasn't any time to meet more. Too bad! Female empowerment rules!!

I was asked to stay with Jared with or daddy the whole time because they really value family time in Saudi Arabia. That's so awesome! I learned that women in Saudi Arabia don't have the same pressures we have in America. Pressure to work, pressure to leave the house without male accompaniment, pressure to not get stoned or flogged if we commit adultery even in cases where we are raped. What a relief it must be for these Saudi women to not have so much pressure!

Yesterday. Daddy and his friends, King Salman and General Sisi, played with a cool magic orb. It was a big hit on the internet! It was funny because the picture almost never happened. King Salman and General Sisi were so busy on the phone yelling things like, "How many dissidents did we capture" and things like that. Being the ruler of a country seems like hard work. Who would've guessed it?

Anyway, I love Saudi Arabia. There were so many men staring at my hair, it made me feel really empowered. Now it's off to Israel, which will be really meaningful for me because I think I'm Jewish or something. Bye for now!

Eastern European Mail Order Bride Ad from '05

January 20, 2005

Sexy Slovenian, not Russian, woman in search of wealthy businessman/celebrity.

I'm a professional model and definitely not a secret Russian spy.

Turn ONS: Arrogance, weird hair, lack of knowledge of how government works
Turn OFFS: Self-awareness

Favorite sex position: Sticking my fingers in my ears, closing my eyes, and pretending it's not happening

Are you "the one"?

Beware of American Email Scam

Fellow Nigerian readers, beware of a recent email scam from an American prince. The fraudulent email is as follows:

Dear [Name],

I am a very wealthy businessman and son of the President of the United States. I am writing you today to offer you a business deal. I have many billions of dollars, much of it obtained from my father's position. We are able to make policy to help our business and we even charge the government to stay in our hotels.

Most of the money I make is legal, if not ethical, but not all of it. That's where you come in. I will put $5 BILLION U.S. into your bank account. For your kindness, I will let you keep HALF as this will help me avoid paying US income tax and avoid legal problems. Just send me this information:

1. NAME
2. MOBILE
3. ADDRESS
4. BANK ACCOUNT NO.
5. ROUTING NUMBER
6. PICTURE OF NAKED WIFE/SISTER/MOTHER

Yours Truly,
Eric Trump

Trump and History

Before we pile on Donald Trump over his lack of historical knowledge, it's important to remember that he is very very old. When he was in school, Frederick Douglass was still alive.

Trump was shocked to find out that Abraham Lincoln was a Republican for a good reason. Of course, he wasn't in school way back in 1860 when Lincoln ran as a Republican. That would be ridiculous; he's not that old. But Trump was in school in 1864 when Lincoln ran on the National Union Party ticket.

There's a good explanation for why Trump had no idea that a fundamental disagreement between the North and South over the institution of slavery spreading into the territories caused the Civil War. Back when Trump went to school, the education system was horrendous due to lack of federal oversight. This also explains why Trump lacks even the most basic knowledge of how government works.

The Secretary Biographies: Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III

Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III was born on December 24, 1859 in Selma, Alabama to loving parents. His father was a shopkeeper and his mother was considered "a perpetual juvenile" as was typical of most women of the time. In 1864 at the age of five, Sessions was conscripted into the Confederate Army where he fought valiantly and often cried for his mommy.

After the war, Sessions became an outspoken critic of Reconstruction vowing never to become a "dirty Republican" a declaration he would violate 90 years later.

Sessions received his law degree from the University of Alabama, widely considered one of the top law schools in Alabama. He practiced law and soon became a popular conservative commentator. Sessions hailed the 1896 Plessy v. Ferguson Supreme Court decision as "a great verdict, except for the 'equal' part."

Sessions was pro-mustard gas in World War I and anti-Nazi in World War II. After the war, he set out to become one the nation's foremost critics of the Civil Rights Movement. He claims to have coined the offensive pun "Martin Luther Coon" in reference to Civil Rights icon and American hero Dr. Martin Luther King. Sessions can't help but release a chuckle whenever the slur is repeated in his presence. In 1964, he registered as a Republican after the passage of the Civil Rights Act.

In 1986, Sessions was nominated as a federal judge but was rejected as "too racist." At the time he used the n-word an average of 7.1 times a day which classified him as "Extremely Racist." Now, he has cut down his usage to 3.2 n-words per day, which earns him the classification of "Very Racist."

In 1997, Sessions became the oldest member in the history of the U.S. Senate at the age of 137. In the Senate he championed homophobia and Islamophobia. On the issue of gay rights, Sessions declared, "In my day gay meant happy, not sodomy." He still refers to Muslims as "Musulmen" or "Muhammadans" depending on how the mood strikes him.

Yesterday, he was confirmed at the Attorney General of the United States.

Jeff Sessions: Too racist to be a federal judge in 1986, just racist enough to be attorney general in 2017!

Betsy DeVos Orders McDonald's

Cashier: Welcome to McDonald's. Can I take your order?
Betsy DeVos: I'll have a sandwich.
Cashier: What kind of sandwich?
Betsy DeVos: Uh, a meat sandwich.
Cashier: Ok. What kind of meat. Chicken or beef?
Betsy DeVos: Beef. I think flight bird meat is so delicious.
Cashier: Wait, I'm confused. You said beef but described a chicken. So, which is it, chicken or beef?
Betsy DeVos: Yes, both chicken and beef are types of meat.
Cashier: Yeah, but which one do you want?
Betsy DeVos: McDonald's serves both chicken and beef.
Cashier: Uh, ok. Would you like fries?
Betsy DeVos: Some people like french fries. Others don't.
Cashier: Ma'am, there's a long line of hungry people behind you... Let's try this. I would like some french fries. Do you agree or disagree with me?
Betsy DeVos: French Fries are a complementary part of a meal.
Cashier: Do YOU want french fries?
Betsy DeVos: McDonald's is a restaurant.
Cashier: Have you actually ever been to a McDonald's before?

What is at the Root of Trump's Popularity?

There has been much debate as to the root of Trump's popularity. Some believe is popularity is racially motivated. Others believe people are attracted to his so-called tell it like is persona.

I believe people voted for him, for the most part, in spite of his racism and lack of basic knowledge about governance. Trump's lifestyle embodies the aspirational opulence that represents the id of the American psyche.

A Reader's Digest poll says 19% of Americans believe they're in the top 1% and I would argue the other 81% think they'll get there at some point in their lives. New York columnist David Brooks notes that in the 1950s 12% of high school seniors viewed themselves as a very important person; forty years later that number rose to 80%.

In the minds of his voters, Trump is living proof that anyone can make a lot of money and rise to the highest position in the land, regardless of innate intellectual ability. His success reinforces their tenuous hold on their own self-importance even though Trump's policies run counter to most of his voters' interests.