If At First You Don't Succeed

Grandpa's favorite boxer was Andrew Golota. He fell in love with the Pole's style in the ring during his two matches against Riddick Bowe. In their first fight, Golota was winning until he was disqualified for continuously hitting Bowe in the balls. For their second bout, one would've expected Golota to refrain from smacking around Bowe's speed bags. But Golota was too stubborn to change. Instead, even though he was winning the contest, he once again repeatedly went after Bowe's balls until he was disqualified.

Grandpa said it best, "I love Golota. He found a losing strategy and stuck with it." If at first you don't succeed, keep hitting him in the nuts.

That got me thinking about other situations where a losing strategy is repeated until it's perfected.

• The Federalists put a Pinckney on the ticket in 1796, 1800, 1804, and 1808. Neither Pinckney brother ever became President or Vice President.
• The Lakers lost 7 times in the NBA Finals to the Celtics during the 1960s. One of those times, they should have done something different. Like win.
• The Germans lost a two-front war in WWI. They tried the approach again in WWII to no avail.

What did each of these three do wrong? They didn't learn from Golota and go for the balls. He may have lost those two fights against Bowe, but he won something far more important, my grandpa's respect.

So Long Yankee Stadium

With Yankee Stadium at the center of attention, now seems like a good time to pay my respects to the Mecca of baseball.

The first time I went to Yankee Stadium was in the mid-1990s. Since it was pre-Nats, the Braves were my favorite and the first game I ever witnessed of theirs in person occurred at Yankee Stadium. What could be better than that? I'll tell you what. Greg Maddox pitched a shutout. The Braves won 2-0 on a Ryan Klesko homer. After the ball left the yard, I went into a state of hysteria. A man walked by and yelled, "You're still gonna lose." For the Yankees, a resurgent Doc Gooden went 9 innings only making the one mistake to Klesko. It was a great introduction.

I remember taking our seats and feeling waves of emotion flow through my body. I could see Babe Ruth in the outfield along side of Mickey Mantle and Joe DiMaggio. Lou Gehrig was on first and countless others were out on the field as well. "They played here!" I just kept telling myself in awe.

I've never been to Yankee Stadium without my grandpa and my brother. My grandpa died in 1999 and I decided never to go back. So, to me, Yankee Stadium reminds me of my grandpa.

One time, Grandpa bought us tickets to sit right behind the dugout for two games of a weekend series against the Tigers. It would have been one of the highlights of my life. The day before the first game, a bit of Yankee Stadium's ceiling fell and the weekend series was moved to Detroit. We never got to go, because my brother and I were back home in Maryland for the re-scheduled series the following weekend. Yankee Stadium not only represents the glorious and painful past, but also, what could have been.

The Lowest Point

It was June 1999. I begged my grandpa to take me to the NBA Finals where my beloved Knicks would face the San Antonio Spurs. The Kncks were an 8th seed heading into the playoffs of the lockout-shortened season. They made a gallant run to become the first 8th seed to make the Finals.

Grandpa wouldn't get the tickets. I thought it might be a money problem, so I asked my mom if she would pay for at least my ticket and she said yes. Still, Grandpa wouldn't do it. "They have a good young team. They'll be back next year. We can go then." I just didn't understand. We both knew there were no sure-shots in sports. Why take the chance? This would be a great memory, me and my grandpa at the NBA Finals, rooting for my team after they made the most improbable run in NBA history.

I didn't get to go. The Knicks lost four games to one. In late October, my grandpa died. We would never go.

The Knicks made it to the Eastern Conference Finals in 2000. I skipped the prom to watch Game 6 on TV. The Knicks lost and were eliminated from the playoffs that night. The Knicks lost in the first round in 2001, the last time the team the won a playoff game. Early next season, Jeff Van Gundy walked away. An era ended.

Perhaps Grandpa and Jeff Van Gundy knew something and that's why both left when they did. It has been a disastrous run since. The Knicks have made the playoffs once in that time, losing in four games and winning none against the New Jersey Nets in 2003. High priced so-called stars have come and gone. They all epitomized the stereotype of the modern athlete, selfish, arrogant, and paid. Of course, there was that period where the Knicks had about eight power forwards on the roster, all with similar skills. They haven't had a point guard worth a damn in that time, except for Isiah Thomas. Unfortunately, Thomas hasn't played. Instead he's tied up the franchise and hid it in the basement. it almost makes you miss Scott Layden. Did I just say that?

From Larry Johnson, Allan Houston, Marcus Camby, and Patrick Ewing, the Knicks now feature, some overweight center who can't rebound, a power forward who may never have thrown an intentional pass in his life, a small forward who taunts teams that are much better than his, and a point guard who would rather be somewhere else and has actually gone there before. These aren't the Knicks that I remember. These are an unlikable bunch of losers.

The lowest point came Thursday night against the Boston Celtics. It's been coming, but the 104-59 finish cemented the descent. The Knicks actually managed to win Friday night, coming back from down 16 at home to the juggernaut that is the Milwaukee Bucks. Some wondered if they had been too presumptuous in canning the Knicks after the Boston performance. Make no mistake, Friday night's win was like spraying air freshener over a big pile of shit.

Grandpa, Jeff Van Gundy, please help!

Message From Grandpa 5

When I was 13 years old, I chastised Grandpa over the phone for being a Republican. It must have been a common occurrence because he answered in an uncharacteristically defensive tone.

Grandpa: I was a Democrat for 66 years; I've been a Republican, 2 years. Whadda ya tawkin about?


Don't worry friends, Grandpa's dead now. So you know he's voting Republican this election in Karl Rove's America!




Grandpa- got another friend for you. Red Auerbach Rest in Peace.

Message From Grandpa 4

My Grandpa died 7 years ago today. Whenever he visited, we used to sit out on the porch and talk. We'd talk about sports mostly. He'd smoke cigarettes and the smoke would always seem to find me no matter where I sat. I remember one specific day, when I was 12 years old, Grandpa told me, "There's nothing in the world worse than losing a child." He was talking about my dad.

It's made me think about the soldiers in Iraq. "There's nothing in the world worse than losing a child." It's made me think about their families.

"There's nothing in the world worse than losing a child." It's made me think about the people of Iraq who have been affected by war through death. "There's nothing in the world worse than losing a child."

Yeah well, losing a Grandpa ain't too great either.

Message From Grandpa 3

One of the many Mets games at Shea Stadium that Grandpa took my brother and I to was particularly memorable. It was slightly chilly, probably in the 50s with a slight breeze.

For some reason Grandpa was freezing. He left Shea and the guards were nice enough to relax the rules about re-entering the stadium. He came back with a couple of blankets that smelled like urine. He offered us one, and when we refused, he was astonished that we weren't cold enough to cover ourselves in the urine stench. As a result, Grandpa kept the blankets for himself.

The blankets weren't enough and Grandpa left for more protection. My brother and I watched the rest of the game- youngsters- alone, waiting for Grandpa to return. He never did.

After the game we walked to where we thought the car was, and sure enough, there was Grandpa's familiar '82 Benz. We opened the door. The heat was on full blast.



Me: Holy shit Grandpa, it's hot as hell in here.

Grandpa (awoken from sleeping in the driver's seat): Is it really hot?

Me: Are you kidding me? It's like a hundred degrees!

Grandpa: Really? Huh. I'm fine.

Message From Grandpa 2

Grandpa comes back to his car from the bank.

Grandpa: Why you in the driver's seat?
Me: What the hell took so long? I'm here 'cause you're double parked. Plus, you not only left the car door unlocked, but you left the door wide open, in the Bronx with your two grandsons in the backseat! What the fuck were you thinking?
Grandpa: Oh. Ok.

Message From Grandpa

My grandpa is gone now, but he deserves a voice. Even if he were alive, the only way he'd have a voice on the internet is if I wrote it for him, so it doesn't really matter either way. From time to time, I'll try to provide a window into his world through his own words.

Grandpa's driving in Bronx, New York on a road that has two lanes in each direction. Grandpa pulls up right in the middle. My brother and I are in the backseat. I'm maybe 12 years old.

I look at my brother puzzled, he looks back at me astonished.

Me: Uh, Grandpa... I don't think this is a lane.
Grandpa: This is New York! We make our own lanes!!