And Home

I'm back home from Ecuador now. I was quite impressed with the places that I visited in Ecuador. Traveling is a good replacement for ignorance. I'd like to thank Kristen for showing me a wonderful time in Ecuador!

The fact that I did so poorly during that hellish bike ride still doesn't sit well with me. Ironically, the fact that I did so poorly on that hellish bike ride is also the reason why I can't sit well.

I spent most of my time in Ecuador wondering when is the appropriate time to switch from usted to the tu form. What if I'm too presumtious and the other person is still in the usted mode? What if I get a tu thrown my way, but I'd prefer to leave the s's off of my verbs with that particular person? These are the tough questions.

Baños to Quito

In Baños they have a band reminiscent of the Dodger Sym-phony and they play during random spurts throughout the town. At least dem bums play bee-yoo-tee-ful.

Today I did some more hiking in Baños, which probably wasn't a good idea. I was sweating a lot, which might be normal for Rush Limbaugh near a pharmacy, but not for me. I also didn't bring any water or anything because I'm a moron. But everything was fine.

Later I ate cuy, which is guinea pig. It was fucking delicious, right down to the paws.

Kristen and I took a bus back to Quito. At one of the stops in Quito, the woman sitting in front of us got up to get off. Her boyfriend however had other plans. He was sitting directly in front of me and was fast asleep. She shook him vigorously and was screaming her head off to try and wake him up. Nothing worked. After trying for a bit, she gave up, cussed him out, and got off the bus. Everyone around him was shocked, confused, and laughing. When we arrived at the bus station, the guy was still asleep, even as we all walked by him, sometimes bumping him on the head. I don't think he was dead, because he was moving slightly. Kristen said that sometimes people will put things in candy and when you eat it, you pass out for a couple of days (and the candy-givers steal your stuff). But who knows.

In Baños

On the way to Ambato last night, a guy from Colombia sat in front of Kristen and I. He talked to Kristen about the value of the Ecuadorian currency (which is actually US currency) and about the various state quarters. He also said that I didn't look like I was from the United States at all; I look like I'm from Colombia. Polish-Ukrainian Jews get that a lot. But it furthers my theory that every groups pretty much looks like every other group, or at least there's significant overlap.

In Baños I heard a voice, ¨Have you recovered?¨It was the Irish guy who watched the final minutes of the Bills' collapse Monday night in my hostel with me in Quito.

I walked up to the Virgin de Santa Agua or something like that. It's apparently 614 steps up and my body did not appreciate 612 and a half of those steps. They make taffy here by slamming it against a nail in the wall and stretching it out. I bought some. it was very hard on my feeble teeth. We tried to get guinea pig for dinner, but it turns out it's more of a lunch thing. Maybe tomorrow.

Wouldn't Wish It On You

Last night Krsiten and I went to the bus station on our way to Ambato then to a small town called Salinas and then on to Baños. Turns out there were no buses to Ambato. So we decided to go bike riding with the people that Kristen stays with and some friends.

The day began before 7am. We drove down to Latacunga to rent the remaining bikes that we needed and work out logistics. I was a bit nervous because I don't really know how to ride a bike. When we got there, we rented the bikes, packed into the backs of two different trucks, and were on our way. I stood up in the back of the truck as we flew down the highway, thinking this would be a cool experience.

We arrived and unloaded our bikes. Turns out we were on a highly advanced path at Cotopaxi, which is where you wanna be if you don't know how to ride a bike. I struggled terribly at first, but eventually got the hang of it enough to keep on moving. I even rode right through one large water puddle, though my feet got soaked.

I was falling off the bike a lot, sometimes even falling over the handle bars. I tried to heed the words of Rocky and get back up no matter how much it hurt. I ran into many bushes on the side of the path. I had trouble even getting on the bike, which left my ass a bruised mess. We reached another large water puddle and I was determined to ride through it. I had trouble starting, but eventually did, and I was doing it! Until halfway, when I fell right into the water, soaking everything.

It became colder and colder and my body was extremely tired from putting so much energy into trying to start the damn bike again and again. And from falling numerous times. I was drenched. It started to hail and rain hard. The temperature drops rapidly here in Ecuador when that happens. I was freezing. We all were, but I was the only one to fall into a giant puddle of water.

I was exhausted, frustrated, and ashamed that I was holding up the group. We were walking along train tracks and there wasn't enough room for me to start the bike and balance. As it turns out, we were lost. At least that wasn't my fault.

I got rid of my soaking wet t-shirt after sweet, mild-mannered, would-never-hurt-a-fly Kristen yelled, ¨Put on my fucking jacket!¨ at me. She grabbed a spare sweatshirt from her roommate. So there after, things started to look really bad. I wondered what would happen if we didn't find our way back. As it turned out, I wasn't alone in thinking potentially morbid thoughts at that moment. Then we saw a fire off in the distance. We went to it and it was a logger by the name of Jose, cutting down trees with his family. Our bikes were loaded on Jose's truck and we were all ready to go (Kristen yelled at me again, to sit inside the truck) when we realized some of our party was missing. We spent what felt like eternity by the fire trying to warm up. We all were soaked and freezing. Finally everyone was there, but by then I gave up my spot inside the truck.

Instead I sat in the back, still very cold and wet, with a bent nail stabbing me in the back of the head every once in a while. I don't know how long that truck drive was, but it felt like it took a really long time. Jose dropped us and our bikes off by the highway. We were still over an hour away from our new base in Latacunga. Someone phoned a truck that had taken us to that horrible mountain in the first place. It took him over an hour to get to us as we all froze waiting, trying to stay warm. When he finally arrived, we packed all the bikes and all but three of us into the small back of the truck. I was lodged between a bike and the edge of the truck. When the truck started to move, it was so windy and cold that we all ducked for cover. I hid the top half of my body in between the bikes, while my bottom half was still jammed between the side of the truck and another bike.

Finally we made it to one of the survivor's home and his parents gave us hot chocolate and grilled cheese sandwiches as we changed into any dry clothes we had with us. Afterward, Kristen and I boarded a bus for Ambato and then transfered to Baños, which is where I am now.

Then Came the Rains

So I asked Kristen to write a couple of emails in Spanish for me (I would dictate in English) to try and impress friends (into thinking I can actually speak Spanish). Well, it totally backfired. Kristen was very tired and not too thrilled to comply and one of my friends emailed back shitting all over (what she thought was) my Spanish (but was actually Kristen's, who is probably as profecient as the other friend). Nevertheless, I think the whole thing is hillarious.

I checked out of my hostel and walked around old town here in Quito again. I went into the big ass basillica here and the marcado central. Outside of the basillica, a man driving his car stopped in front of me and asked me for directions. Evidently my ¨No se¨wasn't good enough because he replied, ¨Sorry.¨ I can't seem to find an Ecuadorian Hip Hop CD anyway here. When I ask, the vendor just looks at me like I'm nuts. But I've seen some graffiti with the names of local Hip Hop groups around town and I saw one for Hip Hop Radio on 99.3.

I ate at a fast food place called Gus. I figured that would give me a good chance to find someone who spoke English. Nope. Or at least to be able to change a $5. Nope. Some lady went crazy because I think something was stolen from her and another women starting screaming at the help, for what I don't know, but she was in front of me in line and I could tell she was crochety. I've never seen this before, but a vendor walked right into the fast food place and tried to sell his strawberries.

You can tell when it's going to rain a couple of hours before it does here. I was walking towards the sunlight when I got caught and ran for the hills. It rained so hard and started hailing, it was like India or something. That kind of rain equalizes all of us. It doesn't matter how much money you have or how little, you only have one thought at that moment, shelter! It rained for about 40 minutes as hard as I've seen (it just stopped). I ran for some shelter and under a canopy up on the second story across from the Ministry of Economics and Finance on August 10 Ave.

So that's my story. It looks like I'll be traveling for the next few days.

2-4-6-8, No Hablo Español

Yesterday was a lazy day. It rained a lot. I went for a rather long walk, a bit into old town here in Quito, and it drizzled on me. It was quite cold too. My friend Kristen met me and we went to the heart of old town for dinner. Kristen also helped me write some devious emails in Spanish, because unlike me, she can speak 2 languages. She's here in Quito volunteering as part of her master's degree in Conflict Resolution, so she's all around awesome. I think I've brought bad luck to her, because along with my arrival, winter and a heavy travel load for work have followed. She's already gone to Ambato (twice) and San Pablo (near Otavalo), and will be going to Ibarra and Baños, before I leave.

Today I walked to the same place where we had dinner, which was next to the president's house. There was a small protest going on, by some indigenous group I think. I couldn't really understand them. There were about 25 protesters screaming slogans outside the president's front steps and many more onlookers. Whereas new town, particularly Mariscol, features post-modern (kind of out of place) buildings and tons of tourist, old town has a consistant colonial style and far fewer tourists.

I saw a baby on the corner today. I said, ¨Hola niño, vas a su casa.¨ The baby said, ¨¡Silencio! Compro los weed.¨ I was like, ¨¡Dios Mios!¨ On the way to the internet place I was offered some cocaine. I declined.

FUCK!

I watched the Bills game in the tv room at my hostel here in Quito. The Bills got off to a quick start thanks to Brian Mormon faking a punt and running for a first down and later, kicking a perfect punt. That led to an interception by the Bills former wide reciever and current starting safety (because of all the injuries) George Wilson, who returned it for a TD. Further along, Chris Kelsay batted a Tony Romo pass attempt into the air, where he caught it for another defensive TD.

The Bills defense and special teams played great throughout the whole game. Terrence McGee returned another kickoff for a TD. But the Cowboys strangely never seemed to go away. Romo threw 5 picks in all and added a fumble to his team´s turnover number. If there is a criticism, it´s that the Bills couldn´t sustain as many drives as they did against the Jets. Trent Edwards did play well again though. Anthony Thomas threw some key blocks throughout the game. Through it all, the Cowboys worrisomely stayed in the game.

The end of the game featured the most bizarre, unbelieveable, and heart-breaking set of cirmstances. It seemed every play garnered a different reaction, from horror to elation and back again. The Cowboys scored with about 20 seconds to go. They were down 2 with a 2-point attempt to go. Jabari Greer made another great play to strip TO of the ball. The Bills looked destined to win. But the Cowboys recovered the onside kick and moved the ball into field goal range. Their fucking kicker made it, but Bills coach Dick Jauron called timeout first. Whew. When play resumed, the fucking kicker made it again. FUCK!

An Irish guy who wanted the tv after me was in the room. He tried to be nice, but I just wanted to strangle him. I went to my room and threw a fit. I calmed down and got something to drink and then went back to my room and sat in the dark for a couple of hours.

I was thinking that the Bills didn´t really blow this game, even though they dominated and the score was frighteningly close throughout. Sure they needed to sustain a drive or two at the end. Edwards interception, his lone mistake, hurt bad. Lee Evans husteled to make the tackle and the Bills soon intercepted Romo again, but it took possible points off the board for the Bills. McGee´s drop of Romo´s apparent 6th interception also hurt bad. The final mistake was giving up a short 5 yard dump that put Dallas in field goal range on the second to last play. It seemed that the Bills were playing too far off on that play. But for the most part, they did all you could ask of Buffalo.

I woke up and it was raining. Evidently I brought winter when I came last Wednesday, but this was the first day it´s rained in the morning. Fitting, I suppose.

The Power Went Out

Quito is a bit more chaotic than Otavalo, although the latter has random dogs and kids running around all over the place. Otavaleños refers to everyone from the town by the way. The indigenous people are part of some tribe that I'll look up and out here.

I had lunch today at a fancy place for $2. It was the first time I've ever had a three-course meal at a restaurant before. I had no idea what I ordered. I thought I was eating some kind of exotic seafood, but instead it was an appetizer of potato balls and lima beans. Yuck!

Afterward, I just walked a round for a while. There are tons of (this is where the power went out. Now I'm writing a couple of hours later. Because of the loss of power, the three of us in the place at the time only had to pay a quarter because the guy didn't know how long we were on. I paid a dollar anyway, because I knew I was on longer than that. But I don't think I was on a dollar's worth.) spray-painted political sayings all over the walls. Most are pro-socialist. I think the swastika that I saw a few days ago related to fascism and not necessarily anti-Semitism, but still, c'mon, it's a freaking swastika!

My new hostel room has three beds even though I asked for a single. I hope they still give it to me as a single. A window is also jammed open. I just came from eating Indian food. It was good, but tasted a lot like corn. Soon it'll be off to try and find a tv where the Bills game is being shown. Wish me luck!

Back in Quito

A couple more things about Otavalo. As I was walking around in the market, two dogs decided that was the perfect moment to start having sex. It felt like a three-some. After, I was just walking around a bit outside the market when some dude said words to the effect of stupid tourist (I think, I don't really understand Spanish too well). If he did, what the fuck, I didn't do anything to you. In fact, I got off the sidewalk to clear the way for you douchebag. I was also bumped into three times and then the guy give me a dirty look. Other than the last two small things, everything else was cool in Otavalo.

I waited for my friend in a restaurant in Otavalo for a couple hours. She was late on business which wasn't a problem except that I got kinda worried at some point. She also gave me the name of the restaruant, but meant the one next to it. Fortunately she was so late that the restaruant I was in closed and I found a phone and called her. Trying to get back to Quito, we couldn't find the right bus stop immediately and my friend Kristen was pretty nervous. In Quito, we got off a bit too late and she was a little nervous again. I wasn't. I guess I'm like every American man. We all have illusions that if someone tries to rob us, we'll punch him in the face and take his money! If we're liberal we'll give the money to charity and if we're conservative, I guess invest in some stocks.

Today I played basketball with some random older guys. It was cool. They spread out on the court more like a soccer game. You have defenders who hang back, forwards who don't usually play defense, but of course it's not as exaggerated as that.

Then Kristen and I went to the museum of works by the artist Oswaldo Guayasamin. The guide was really nice and gave the tour in English. The exhibit was quite moving and sad. I tried to hide my tears a bit. His paintings showed tremendous empathy for the suffering people of the world.

In Otavalo

Yesterday in Quito, I continued to be sick. Diarrhea cha cha cha. I had to wipe my ass so much that my asshole resembled Iraq. It was a burning mess. Donald Rumsfeld flew over me though, and assured everyone that it wasn't like all of me was on fire. Here's my list of Ralph Branca-like excuses for why I got sick. I didn't sleep Tuesday night or on Wednesday. There was a loud band playing outside of my terribly constructed hostel. That's what happens when your room is insulated by straw for 2 nights. Even the 2nd and 3rd pigs knew better. The altitude impacted me a bit at the start and the milkshake and chicken wings I downed on Thursday night didn't help. Then on Friday, David was back out there to pitch to Bobby Thompson on 1 day rest.

Today my friend Kristen and I took a bus up to Otavalo, a city known for its markets. There are many indigenous people here who I think are called Otavaños. Is that right, guy next to me? They have some of the most adorable old men and old women here. The men wear cowboyish type hats, sport a pony tail, and sometimes a poncho while the women wear eloborate jewelry on their necks, ears, and wrists, complimented by beautiful and colorful dresses. That, and sweatshirts from the Gap and I Love NY t-shirts. There are markets in the middle of the street that goes on for blocks and there are Sony stores, supermarkets (not quite the quality of Giant, more like a Safeway), and of course, internet shops that are ¨trendy.¨

I bought something from an old woman in the market which goes against my policy of not buying from old women in markets because I'm a sucker for an old woman in a market and I pay more than I should. I walked by a couple of dogs who decided that my presence was the perfect time to get it on with one another. It was awkward.

Send in the Clown

Yesterday I had a delicious blackberry milkshake. I might be paying for it right now. I had diarrhea earlier in the day and I don't feel well now. The music was loud last night and the room was cold. I've heard some (loud) version of the song Guantanamera three times in the last 24 hours.

My bag is at my friend's place and I haven't shaved in a couple days and I look disheveled (more than usual). I've adjusted to Quito's altitude though.

I went to the Indiginous people museum today. On the way I passed by a swastika on Wilson in between 6 de Deciembre and 12 de Octubre Avenues. If I'm in your town and there's a swatika there, I will find it.

I tried to get into the museum but went in the wrong door. A clown followed me. Literally a clown: makeup, funny shoes and all. Then he talked to me in Spanish as we found the correct door. Afterwards I spent some time in a church just because it was shady and there was a place to sit.

So, you know, a typical day.

In Quito

My journey to Quito began in the Dulles airport at 4:30am Wednesday. I was waiting in the security line when I was whisked away and roped off from everyone. After a few brown men lined up behind me I realized what was going on. Throw in a couple of token white women and we were off to the puffinator.

The flight to Panama was highlighted by the fact that I sat next to a baby and his mother. From Panama we ascented to 40,000 feet in order to be fly 30,000 feet about the Andes. When I arrived in Quito, I met my friend and we hung out for the rest of the day. I could hardly stay away as I didn't sleep at all the prior night.

My hostel room has straw where 2 walls and the ceiling should be. I could here the band playing next door. I could feel the 50 degree temperature. But I was too tired to care. They also played old (but good) rap songs from 10 years ago. I woke up and walked around the city during the morning. It was hard to catch my breath, even after walking a short distance. I felt like my grandmother.

I walked around the very touristy area, but it was cool. I expected something more like Mysore as opposed to Philadelphia. I don't really speak Spanish at all, but I tried to ask about recommendations for good restaurants, but instead I said, "Your mother's penis is short and stumpy."

Ok, that didn't happen.
I took a nap during the day and woke up to pouring rain. I really had to pee, but the shared bathroom was outside. But alas! There was a sink in my room. So I peed in the sink. That did happen.