Back in Istanbul

It took me a while to get out of the room. My knee was stiff from the fall on the shuttle and the jousting with the tall man with bad breath on the bus to Istanbul.

I showered and headed for Europeam Istanbul. I really blended in with the locals, who truly fit a variety of descriptions. It's good because the touts who pester other foreigners don't bother me. But it's bad because there are touts for Turkish people too and they do bother me. It's also bad because instead of looking like a cool American adventurer traveling on his own, I look like a friendless local loser.

I keep entering book stores even though I know the prices are astronomical. I guess I'm hoping for that diamond in the rough.

After eating on Istiklal Road, I searched for a cafe to sit and either mingle or people watch. The only thing suitable was a Starbucks, an establishment I never go to in the U.S. I studied people walking buy and wondered what is this need to be in love. I had heard sad stories of marriages dissolving this weekend and yet, I can't fight the desire. I know that being alone leaves with a constant contentness whereas being in a relationship will create extreme highs and lows. It's not rational to want to trade emotional stability for love it would seem. Yet, I was reminder of the Messiah J quote, "I'm well aware love is horro show, but I see you holding hands and say, 'That looks like fun I wanna go.'"

There is a need among humans to have shared experiences and that is something I'm mostly missing by traveling alone. We also have a need to touch and be touched; to talk and to listen; to love and be loved. Yet, I find romantic relationships often to be about status instead of love. A partner is like a designer accessory. I don't want to be in that kind of relationship. But we often pick people who others will have a positive reaction to rather than someone who makes us feel good.

At one point wandering around European Istanbul, a man asked me something in Turkish. I said, sorry? He threw his hands up in disgust and took off. I looked back on him and threw my hands up. Another man explained to me what happened... in Turkish. So I still have no idea.

I came into this hotel for the computer and my old NBA-loving friend was sitting behind the desk and was excited to see me. I was excited to see him too. We talked about my travels and Jeremy Lin.