I Am Thankful For Not

On this day, people often think about things that they have that they are thankful for. But they forget to be thankful for things they don't have.

I am thankful for not having a finger in my penis hole.

I am thankful for not having a disease (that I know about).

I am thankful for not having a tiny penis.

I am thankful for not having to endure repeated bouts of rectal bleeding.

I am thankful for not being a Republican presidential candidate.

I am thankful for not being charged with 40 counts of child molestation and/or sexual abuse of a child.