Me vs. Babies

When a baby stares at a woman, the woman is usually not upset. In fact, almost all women are actually thrilled. They love it. Meanwhile, when I stare at a woman, she's typically pretty creeped out.

But here's what you're missing. When a baby stares, you know all he's thinking about is one thing, sucking on your breasts. That's why he's smiling so much. Honestly, that's not the first place my mind goes to. What am I, some kind of pervert?

So you see, don't be creeped out when I'm staring at you; I'm much more innocent than a baby.