Who Can Beat the Klitschkos?

Wladimir Klitschko destroyed Eddie Chambers last Saturday. I thought Chambers might actually give him fits, if not win, because of Chambers's ability to move. It’s not the first time I though a potential opponent might pose a stiff challenge to one of the Klitschkos. And it's not the first time I was dead wrong.

The Klitschkos are wildly underrated. They're not exciting in the ring. They're not brash outside of it. But both Wladimir and Vitali have perfected a style that enhances their gifts. They dominate distance with their jabs and always their mighty right hands are lurking.

Here now is a breakdown of the prospects of their potential opponents.

David Haye - I'm a fan of his. He's fun to watch, outspoken, athletic, and powerful. But besides a few world class fights at cruiserweight, he hasn't had much opposition. At heavyweight, he defeated the giant Nikolai Valuev. In two weeks, he'll fight John Ruiz. Those will be the two best heavyweights he has faced. Against, Valuev, who is much taller than the Klitschkos but not nearly as skilled, Haye struggled. He was reluctant to throw. Haye likes to heave bombs from the outside and was confused as to how to attack the considerably taller Valuev. Against either Klitschko, I see him suffering from the same issue, with far more devastating results.

Odlanier Solis - Solis is a legendary amateur boxer with vicious power. But his plodding stalking, one-punch style is tailor-made for the Klitschos. Solis would give nearly half a foot to either champion. Plus, Solis hasn't fought a single world class boxer in the pros. I don't see him so much as touching either one at this point.

Tomasz Adamek - Like Haye, he's a former cruiserweight champion. Adamek has power and has faired well against world class opposition. Adamek is fairly easy to hit though. But he has a better chance of at least putting pressure on either Klitschko than the above two contenders. The question is whether or not Adamek can take a powerful heavyweight's punch. We'll find out when he faces Chris Arreola. If he can, he still probably won't beat either champ, but at least he could give them the challenge they've lacked for some time now.

Bernard Hopkins - Yep. That's how depleted the heavyweight division has become. A 45-year old former middleweight champion probably has a better chance than anyone else to dethrone the Klitschkos. Hopkins would likely lose a decision to either brother, but he wouldn't get manhandled like the others.

Ones of the reasons that the talent in the heavyweight division is so meager is once a fighter beats a halfway decent opponent, they challenge for the title before they're ready. Both Haye and Solis should take on a few world class foes before jumping. Beat a Ruslan Chagaev. Challenge Chambers. Alexander Povetkin has won against Chambers and Chris Byrd. That's a start for him at least. Neither Haye nor Solis has fought a heavyweight even to that ability. Adamek seems to be taking a better approach, another reason why I like his chances more than the first two. Hopkins would need at least one fight at heavyweight, as to not be so awed by the Ukrainians' size. Basically, the bottom line becomes: the Klitschkos are pretty great.

Pound-for-Pound Best

Everyone has their own opinion on the pound-for-pound best in boxing. Allow me to obnoxiously add my own to the bevy of lists already occupying the internet.

1) Manny Pacquiao (51-3-2, 38 KOs)
2) Floyd Mayweather (40-0, 25 KOs)
3) Shane Mosley (46-5, 39 KOs)
4) Wladimir Klitschko (54-3, 48 KOs)
5) Paul Williams (38-1, 27 KOs)
6) Chad Dawson (29-0, 17 KOs)
7) Arthur Abraham (31-0, 25 KOs)
8) Vitali Klitschko (39-2, 37 KOs)
9) Bernard Hopkins (50-5-1, 32 KOs)
10) Juan Manuel Marquez (50-5-1, 37 KOs)

Thoughts on the First 2 Rounds of the NCAA Tournament

Just as I predicted, a 14 seed beat a 3, a 13 beat a 4, and a mid-major power ousted a 1 seed in the second round. Unfortunately for me, I didn't predict any of the right teams.

But the tournament has been great for mid-majors. Despite being consistently underseeded, thus having to face tougher teams earlier, mid-majors make up 5 of the remaining 16 teams left. Their seeds are 5, 6, 9, 10, and 12. So, if everything had worked according to plan, none of these teams would have made the Sweet 16.

March Madness On Demand is great. In theory. I kept being told to select a new game with one minute to go in Villanova's first round game. Apparently, March Madness On Demand decided a tie game with a minute to go was "over." Anyway, we're two games away from a potential Cornell, St. Mary's, Northern Iowa, Butler Final Four.

Truth be told I'm rooting for Tennessee because the coach, Bruce Pearl, is a Jew. Yep, it's been a tough tournament for me.

Also, I noticed some tension between the broadcasting team of Kevin Harlan and Dan Bonner and also between Gus Johnson and Len Elmore. I like all four. Maybe they can just switch. Johnson and Bonner have worked together and they were a good team. Harlan and Elmore would compliment each other really well as long as they don't resent the other one talking too much.

Thoughts of the First Round of the NCAA Tournament

Well, I've been lamenting the thought of posting after Georgetown's loss. But I have no problem facing up to my failures. I've had a lot of practice. I didn't like Georgetown's scramble defensive and it cost them dearly. They gave up nearly 100 points. As they were flying all over the place, Ohio was picking them apart by passing to the open man.

I thought Notre Dame's burn offense was a bit of poor strategy. When Haringody was out and Notre Dame had to face Big East opposition, it makes sense to limit the number of possessions in the game. But against Old Dominion and with Harangody back in the lineup, you're just giving them a chance to shine. ODU is a team that prides itself on execution. Notre Dame should have tried to maximize their talent advantage.

After Georgetown lost, I stopped caring. Oh, I've been watching the games, but not with the same intensity. Immediately after the defeat, I laid stiff in grief for about an hour and a half and even fell asleep a little bit. There's very little as disappointing as losing your predicted champion in the first round on the NCAA Tournament. Especially when it's your team and it was widely thought they'd have a shot at winning it all.

2010 NCAA Tournament Predictions

Just the upsets:
First round
Midwest
10 Georgia Tech over 7 Oklahoma St.
West
11 Minnesota over 6 Xavier
10 Florida over 7 BYU
East
14 Montana over 3 New Mexico
South
13 Siena over 4 Purdue
10 St. Mary's over 7 Richmond

Thrilling 32
Midwest
5 Michigan St. over 4 Maryland
West
8 Gonzaga over 1 Syracuse
East
5 Temple over 4 Wisconsin

Sweet 16
Midwest
3 Georgetown over 2 Ohio State
South
5 Texas A&M over 1 Duke
3 Baylor over 2 Villanova

All of the Elite 8
Midwest - 3 Georgetown over 1 Kansas
West - 2 Kansas St. over 4 Vanderbilt
East - 1 Kentucky over 2 West Virginia
South - 3 Baylor over 5 Texas A&M

Final 4
3 Georgetown over 2 Kansas St.
1 Kentucky over 3 Baylor

Championship Game
Georgetown over Kentucky, 72-66

Snowpocalypse or Snowmageddon?

Both are made up words where the word “snow” is added to partial words, in one case “apocalypse” and the other "armageddon." Both original words describe the annihilation of life as we know it.

Last month, this area received back-to-back blizzards, which SUCKED! It was made all the worse because we possess incompetent governments. We lost power for a day and had to throw the food in a bag and put it outside so it wouldn't spoil. Our street was half-heartedly plowed and several inches of ice remained blanketing it for two weeks after the final snowflake had fallen.

But, as far as I know, after the snow melted, everything is still intact. Sure, a few roofs caved in and some guys ingenuously torched frozen power lines resulting in a house catching fire, but things are pretty normal if you ask me. Life still exists.

That takes us to the made up words snowpocalypse and snowmageddon. Neither is clever. Neither "ar" nor "a" rhyme with "snow." Neither means snow in another language. It’s a very clumsy pun- puns being the lowest form of humor to begin with.

Why does this really matter? Because I'm sick of stupidity. We settle for pitiful mediocrity at every turn. I am avowedly against violence, but the next time some moron suggests something on the level of snowpocalypse or snowmageddon, please shoot that person in the face.

Twenty Ten Watch

Has everyone with half a brain knows, you pronounce this year as Twenty Ten, not Two Thousand Ten. Here is a running Watch List on people who have said this year incorrectly.

David Letterman
Dave Pasch
Max Kellerman
Jon Stewart
Stephen Colbert
Dick Enberg
Chevy Malibu voiceover guy
Women's Final Four voiceover lady
Ian Eagle
Tim Brando
Shane Mosley
Wyatt Cenac

ELL, Season 7, Week 5

I'm thinking about making this league infinitely more confusing by adding continent tournaments after the regular season that will determine who makes the playoffs. In any event, let's get to the results. The ELL site is here.

Kim vs Obiang
It's been a bad week for Kim Jong-Il of North Korea. He could be indicted by the International Criminal Court and he was named as Mr. Blackwell's Worst Dressed Dictator Since Gaddafi. Apparently, "the style of the two men resembles half the cast of a 1980s sitcom about the sex lives of elderly women." Meeeow!

British mercenary Simon Mann was recently released from prison after being convicted of trying to overthrow Equatorial Guinean President Teodoro Obiang. Mann's wife called Obiang a "lovely" dictator. She also said he has the softest balls, like a kitten; he has a succulent mushroom head, and the asshole of an angel. Obiang reportedly made sure Mann received excellent care while in prison, including quality health care and gourmet meals. Kinda makes you think the rest of Equatorial Guinea should try to overthrow him.

I know you want to see who won each contest. To do so, check out the official free no-catch Evil Leaders League site. Your mother would be so proud.

Karzai vs Shwe
According to his psychiatrist, Adam Silverberg, Hamid Karzai wears his trademark karakul hat in an attempt to replace his feelings of inadequacy with the attention the garish accessory brings. The source of his feelings of inadequacy stems from his inability to restore law and order to Kandahar, do anything to stop the Taliban, or be fairly elected. Dr. Silverberg describes Karzai's condition as "electile dysfunction."

Even before Than Shwe steals the upcoming Burmese election, his Myanmar-ruling junta is stealing everything else. As they begin "privatizing" the economy. They're selling off state assets to the highest bidder (who happens to be associated with the junta). Democratization and capitalism. See, Than Shwe is finally appeasing the West!

Morales vs Ahmadinejad
Bolivian president, Evo Morales, is a radical authoritarian and harsh critic of the U.S. He claims that the U.S. is trying to control Latin American governments through its war on drugs and that the U.S. dominates the OAS. I bet he probably holds the genocide of his fellow Indians against us too. That crazy socialist dictator needs a reality check. But seriously, I wouldn't smoke your next cigar.

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has recently called the attacks of 9/11 a lie, saying that if you believe 9/11 happened, then you probably believe the refs didn't give the Super Bowl to the Saints. Ahmadinejad is a huge Colts fan. In fact, in his mind, the Colts have won the last 5 Super Bowls. Contrary to U.S. policy, the NFL has chosen to ignore the Iranian leader and his incendiary statements.

al-Bashir vs Berlusconi
Regardless of the possible peace deal between the government and Darfur rebels or his recent campaigning in Rumbek, analysts applaud al-Bashir's electoral strategy. The strategy? Stealing it. Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi once hired the mafia to protect his family. But that was a long time ago. Recently, he's been racking up mistresses and corruption charges. You wonder why people are coming out in droves to protest this guy? I mean, he's Italian, what do you expect? Have these people never watched The Godfather?

click for Standings

Initial Thoughts on the NCAA Seedings

Every year, during a particularly dramatic conference tournament game, some analyst talks about how wonderful conference tournaments are. When you put a mediocre team playing for its season (or its life?) against a talent with superior talent but no incentive to win, of course you'll get an exciting finish. But it doesn't make for good basketball. More importantly, because some bad team from a power conference wins a few games in a row, a deserving team should be bounced out of the NCAA Tournament? It doesn't make sense and it's not logical. Get rid of conference tournaments.

I don't have any gripes as to teams that didn't get into the tournament, so let's talk about the old debate of power conferences against mid-majors.

The mid-majors got 8 at large teams in this season, twice as many as the paltry number the committee granted them last year. The fact is the top mid-majors tend to always be underrated. Winning should count for something. There seems to be an asterisk attached to the wins of mid-major teams and to the losses of teams out of the power conferences. We are told that a win or loss is valued based on who you play. That's fine in theory, but in determining the quality of opponent, the current system assumes teams from the power conferences are better than mid-majors. It should be based on wins and losses in a given year. If you are consistently beating winning teams, that should count more, regardless of the name on the front of your opponents' jerseys.

The thing that bothers me the most about the mid-major discussion is when analysts say that a top mid-major couldn't have a .500 record in a power conference. It depends on the school in a given year, but that's an ignorant comment from guys who spend their lives analyzing basketball, most focusing the bulk of their energy on the power 6. First of all, mid-majors always are put at a disadvantage. They only get to play power teams on the road. In the tournament, they’re traditionally given worse seeds, putting them in a tougher position than they should be in. When a 12 seed (who should be a 7 seed) losses to 5 seed, the analysts cackle the above comment. See, they couldn't hang with the big boys.

Old Dominion won the CAA this season. They played 3 power teams, going 1-2. Two of those games were on a neutral court and the third on the road. They played two NCAA Tournament teams going 1-1, and the third game was against a bubble team. The win was at Georgetown. Had ODU been able to play against bad power conference teams, especially at home, are you telling me they couldn't finish 8-8 in any conference in America? Listen analysts, turn off the Pac 10 game and turn on a CAA, MVC, WCC, or a MAC game once in a while. In any event, I'm glad Billy Packer retired.

Miami U lost in the conference semis and George Mason lost in the conference quarters, so I only have Georgetown. I'm pleased with their 3 seed, but I wish it wasn't in such a stacked region.

Basketball and Relationships

Relationships are a lot like basketball players. Sometimes one appears like it has a lot of potential and, for whatever reason, that potential just never materializes. You can continue to pin your hopes to that dwindling potential or draft someone else. Both relationships and basketball players have windows of possibilities. Sometimes we don't quite know when those windows are open or closed until after they're shut and locked.

You see what happens when I spend too much time analyzing past NBA drafts.