Friday, January 11, 2008

Still Vote for Bill Richardson

Bill Richardson dropped out of the presidential race yesterday. I’m still going to vote for him anyway. A primary is not about voting for the winner, it's about voting your conscious. It's about voting for the candidate that you feel is best equipped to run the country.

The way the system works is that we let a very small number of people dictate who is a viable candidate. If you don't do well in Iowa or New Hampshire, suddenly the media writes you off. Are you gonna let a bunch of corn-fuckers tell you who to vote for? Or a bunch of gun-toting, leaf-changing freaks? NO! If enough people vote for Bill Richardson, he'd accept the nomination. He's just had to stop campaigning because of our corrupt primary system. It's ridiculous. So if you were going to vote for Bill Richardson, still vote for him. If you are undecided, still consider him (and the other candidates who were forced to drop out). And if you weren't going to vote for Bill Richardson, you might want to change your mind or I'll break your thumbs.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Me, The Genius

Last night I was listening to some Gershwin and it made me wish I was a genius at something, anything. The reviews are in and I don't think it's going to happen.

"His jokes are less funny the than shower scene in Schindler's List." - Tuscaloosa Jewish Weekly
"Not a fan." - neo-nazi Bill Riccio
"He'll never be accused of being smart, having talent, or achieving success." - Careerbuilder.com
"I wish he was dead." - The girl I like
"The only thing uglier than his face is his soul." - The other girl I like
"He doesn't brush enough." - The dentist
"Even for a man so tiny, his penis is small." - The doctor
"I wish his mother had gone through with the abortion." - My grandmother
"He makes Woody Allen look self-assured and well-adjusted." - Woody Allen's therapist
"He's a loser." - Same grandmother
"When it's time for me and my friends to brag about our grandchildren, I fake an attack of irritable bowel syndrome and get the hell out of there." - Grandma again

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

New Hampshire Primary

So Hillary Clinton shockingly won the New Hampshire Democratic primary after trailing by double digits in the polls yesterday. Everyone on television wrote her off. Do you ever get the feeling that so-called political experts know absolutely nothing?

Sure, polling is an inexact science. After the Iowa win, I fully expected Obama to coast to victory. I was wrong. I'm also not an expert and nobody pays me to be or listens to my political punditry. After thirty years of experience covering political campaigns, you would think an expert would know enough to realize they don't know what will happen. Instead, putting things into context might be a better route. Instead of focusing on a candidate crying, how about considering her nuanced stances on the issues?

Sure message and campaign strategy are relevant, but not more than the issues. The media's role should be to educate a busy country, not buying into hollow buzzwords like change and experience (how and what have you done specifically). I must be honest, I don't care if someone does or doesn't cry. That really doesn't impact who I vote for. I cry all the time. I've cried at the Adam Sandler movie, Big Daddy. I've cried at a Disney commercial. Hell, I've even cried at... well it's hard to top those two. But that's besides the point, this is not a high school election.. oh, I've cried during at least three different Boondocks episodes. Where was I? Oh yeah, the fate of our country, the world is at stak... oh, a Puff Daddy song- I won't tell you which one, but you could guess.

Monday, January 07, 2008

Vote Bill Richardson in New Hampshire

Vote for Bill Richardson in New Hampshire!

He's the only Democratic candidate who will get every troop out of Iraq. Obama, Edwards, and Clinton would leave residual forces in Iraq. That would only serve to maintain anti-American sentiment in Iraq and continue to put our men and women at risk. John McCain has no problem leaving American forces there for 100 years! Do you want your great grandchildren to still be fighting in Iraq?

As a hostage negotiator, Bill Richardson has thrived in the most trying situations. He has the experience. If elected, Bill Richardson would be the first Mexican president. He will change the status quo.

Bill Richardson will even let you keep your precious guns.

Vote for Bill Richardson in New Hampshire!

Sunday, January 06, 2008

Iowa's Bloated Role

Iowa is the first state that helps decide the candidates for the president of the United States. People actually vote based on the results of the Iowa outcome. In 2004, a win by John Kerry in Iowa propelled him to the nomination without much of a fight. As it turned out, he crumbled under the slightest pressure applied by George Bush. Bush called him a flip-flopper who raped children in Vietnam and Kerry countered several years later arguing that the sex was consensual and furthermore that he had always held that position.

Basically, we let 300,000 people in an incestuous state like Iowa decide the two candidates who have a shot in hell of winning the presidency. We are a nation of 300 million people. Only 0.1% of the population have a real voice in who will face off in the general election. Obama won the Democratic portion of that 0.1% with just 38%. Huckabee only grabbed 34% of the Republican part of that 0.1%. It'd be nice if some of the rest of us had a say, especially for those of us whose parents weren't related before marriage.

Saturday, January 05, 2008

NFL Predictions

My goal has always been to predict an entire playoffs in any sport exactly correct (excludng the scores). Just once in my life!

Wild Card Round
Seattle 27-14 Washington
NY Giants 28-16 Tampa Bay
San Diego 24-17 Tennessee
Jacksonville 14-9 Pittsburgh

Divisional Round
Dallas 31-21 NY Giants
Green Bay 34-22 Seattle
New England 12-7 Jacksonville
Indianapolis 28-20 San Diego

Conference Championship
Dallas 31-10 Green Bay
New England 24-21 Indianapolis

Super Bowl XLII
New England 21-17 Dallas

I really want the Patriots to lose, but I went the conservative route with these predictions. In the AFC, San Diego is poised to surprise some people, especially if they face the Colts, who are weaker than the team the Chargers beat earlier in the year. I just can't put my faith in Norv Turner and Phillip Rivers is too inconsistent. Jacksonville is very good. They have a tough multi-dimensional running game, a hard-nosed defense, and an efficient QB. I was tempted to pick them to go all the way, but I don't see them winning in New England.

In the NFC, Seattle is the sleeper. I would've picked them in Dallas, but if they win, they play in Green Bay. Not an enviable challenge. The Giants are a team that could go on a roll all the way to the Super Bowl or they could fall flat in the first game. I'm predicting somewhere in between.

Friday, January 04, 2008

The Prayoffs, Final

I anxiously awaited the return of Jesus Christ all year. Unless I missed something, Mr. Christ never appeared. Let's revisit what the hell I'm talking about.

It all began when I wanted to determine once and for all: Who is the one true Lord? So, I challenged Pat Robertson to a pray-off. We prayed our hardest over six different contests with each winning three. It all came down to Game 7.

In the spring of 2003, Pat Robertson claimed on his program 700 Club that the second coming of Jesus will take place during 2007. His reasoning was that it was 40 years after the 6-day war, which supposedly gave Israel its biblical borders. It makes sense if you don't think about it too much. In other news, Barry Bonds played his last season with the Pittsburgh Pirates 15 years ago, so I'm hoping this is the year my backne (back acne) disappears.

Anyway, the competition was: If Jesus came back in 2007, then Pat Robertson would win the Prayoff series and his would be the one true lord. If Jesus, did not come back during 2007, I would win the prayoff series, and my G-d is the one true lord. Simple enough.

I'm pretty sure the Rapture didn't happen last year. Britney Spears shaved her head, but I think that was something else entirely. So...

I WIN!!!!!!!!!!
Abortions and gay marriages for all!!!

Oh, and G-d is a force that transcends our understanding, so everyone has to stop claiming to be the Lord's spokesperson. Suck on it, Pat Robertson! Yes!

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Vote Bill Richardson in Iowa

Caucus for Bill Richardson in Iowa!

The three Democratic frontrunners would leave troops in Iraq indefinitely.
Bill Richardson would end the war and remove all troops from Iraq.

Caucus for Bill Richardson in Iowa!

He has the experience:
Congressman for 14 years
Secretary of Energy
Ambassador to the U.N.
Current Governor of New Mexico

He's dealt with the world's most dangerous leaders and successfully obtained the release of numerous hostages. He knows how to deal with the people wishing us harm, without going to war.

Caucus for Bill Richardson in Iowa!

He has executive experience, foreign policy experience, and is a voice for change. He would end the U.S. horrific involvement in Iraq, Clinton, Edwards, and Obama wouldn't. He is the only candidate calling to get rid of No Child Left Behind and has the most ambitious education plan.

And yes, he'll even let you keep your precious guns.

Caucus for Bill Richardson in Iowa!

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Mike Huckabee - A Closer Look

Mike Huckabee is a former governor from Arkansas and a candidate for the Republican presidential nomination.

Abortion
Mike Huckabee has been consistently anti-abortion. However, he hasn't been consistent when it comes to whether it is an issue for the states or the federal government.

In an interview with John Hawkins of Right Wing News in April 2006, Huckabee was asked if Roe v Wade shown be overturned. He responded:

It would please me because I think Roe v. Wade is based on a real stretch of Constitutional application -- that somehow there is a greater privacy issue in the abortion concern -- than there is a human life issue -- and that the federal government should be making that decision as opposed to states making that decision.

So, I've never felt that it was a legitimate manner in which to address this and, first of all, it should be left to the states, the 10th Amendment, but secondly, to somehow believe that the taking of an innocent, unborn human life is about privacy and not about that unborn life is ludicrous.


In a November 23, 2007 article in The Examiner, Huckabee says the exact opposite. From the article:

The former Baptist pastor says it is not enough to overturn Roe v. Wade, a move that would leave individual states to decide whether to keep abortion legal. Huckabee also wants the U.S. Constitution amended to outlaw the procedure nationally.

"If abortion is a political issue, and that's all it is, then fine, have 50 versions," Huckabee told The Examiner in an interview. "But if we have determined, as many of us have, that it's a moral issue, then you can't have 50 different versions of what's right and what's wrong."

Huckabee likened abortion to suffrage and slavery, issues of such moral consequence that they had to be decided nationally. He said allowing individual states to decide abortion would diminish its importance to the level of speeding laws.

Huckabee has promoted himself as the genuine candidate. He has also been inconsistent in other areas.

Immigration
Huckabee was originally very bold on the issue. He stated his consternation over the immigration debate sometimes bordering on racism. While governor of Arkansas, Huckabee allowed deserving children of undocumented immigrants to receive college scholarships. He also criticized the federal government for a raid on undocumented workers that did not take into account the care of their children. He recently defended those two positions saying, "We are a better country than to punish children for what their parents did."

Recently, Huckabee totally changed his tune. He laid out a plan where undocumented immigrants would have to register with Immigration and voluntarily leave the country within 120 days, otherwise they would be deported and barred from returning to the U.S. for ten years. It is a short-sighted proposal that does not account for the impact the departure of undocumented immigrants will have on their communities and gives no incentive for the immigrants to register.

Foreign Policy
In some foreign policy areas, Huckabee has refreshing compassion for a Republican. He favors an exhaustive diplomatic effort with Iran, leaving the possibility of war as a last resort. He has criticized Bush for the president's "go it alone" attitude and "arrogant bunker mentality" when it comes to dealing with the rest of the world. Huckabee also criticized Bush for not listening to his generals with regards to the number of troops required to stabilize Iraq in the wake of the U.S. invasion.

However, in other foreign policy areas, Huckabee is either ill-informed or irrationally bellicose. He was unaware of the National Intelligence Estimate that asserted Iran had ceased their nuclear program in 2003. He advocates leaving troops in Iraq as long as General Petraeus deems it necessary. With regards to Pakistan, his gaffs in the wake of the Benazir Bhutto assassination are well documented. He has also called for violating international law by attacking al Qaeda within the borders of Pakistan, regardless of whter or not permission for such an invasion is granted.

Here are some irrelevant (and possibly inaccurate) fun facts:
  • Before losing a lot of weight, he used to wrestle in the WWF under the name Yokozuna
  • He made 1,033 pardons as Gov., all to convicted gay bashers
  • Would use waterboarding techniques against AIDS patients
  • Bin Laden's mother was gonna have an abortion until Huckabee talked her out of it
  • Believes women should submit to their husbands, but assures he's not a sexist

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

New Year's Resolutions

Here are a few of my resolutions for the new year:
  • To be nicer to people I care about, and meaner in fantasy sports leagues.
  • To harass, harangue, and humiliate neo-nazis.
  • To see more of the U.S.
  • To get back to 2005 in the frequency and voracity in which I stroke my beard.
  • For the "ladies" to not be as repulsed by me. I don't know why I put the quotes around ladies. That wasn't a good start.
  • To talk to people a little more.
  • Fix my ashy left elbow. Maybe find out why it's only the left.
  • No pink sock.